THE BEER TAX.

Temuka Leader, Issue 269, 26 June 1880, Page 2

THE BEER TAX.

Lambton Kay, Wellington, Bth June, 1880.

'Poti me conshrnse, the life is taised out o' me, so it is, wid Johnny and hi? par.yv I tould thim some ti.ne ago that P 1 have to scv r me conno'-krhnn wid thim, bekays I like to be seen in daicent company ; but, hod scran to thim, they won't let me give np me portfo'fy. so they won't. Be th<* hokev, I'm too softhearted, so I am, and mecollaiges taket advantage.'' me failinn'. Av c»orßo, I know that the Ministliry couldn't stand a single day widout me, an I that's the rayson I was injoocwd to attind tlie cowcass to eonsidher the Major's Budgit. It's almost needless to inform ye that the raymodelling av the finanfdiil statement was jew to me. Av they hadn't tiiken me advice abont the rayinir-osiss un av the Beer Tax, faix the whole schaime o' taxashun would have broken down, so it would. I know me cousin Mick will feel mighty vexed at. me ackshun in this matthcr, so I want ye to tell him that private frenships must always give way to t.io public good. The Major was a little narvous about adoptin' my suggestshun' bekays the Beer Tax was Misther Ballanee's iday.

" Luk here, "addy allanah," Bea-<- he, " they'll be ta -in' me for a jackdaw in paycock's feathers, so they will, darlint,"' ses he. ~. ,\ "Well, never mind that. Major', me boy," tes I, '* daycinter jackdaws than." you have sthrutted about before.now in borrowed plumes," ses I. The coweass wan a most enjoyable inthertainrnent, and we inlivened the political procaidin? wid a little harmony. Most o' mo collaiges are beauthiful singers, an' whiniver they want a verse or two I jist sthrike thim off a few vocal gims. When we'd polished off a few bottles of Dunville's " craim o' farther," thw Majir burst into milodions song as follows : Come all ye bonll pathriot-frinds o' the nation, Ye swipers and gripers jist Had me on ear; I've hit on a beautiful bit o' taxashuh, I'vo tapped a frt-sh hogshead o' Balance's Beer. The flavour's improved since the brewer first dhrew it, I give y-> me word, boys, the liquor will stand ; Sure I am 'he barman that knows how to

do it, I've stuck our label on Ballance's brand. The Majir's health, and song was honoured in flowing bumpers, and there was a unanimous call on Misther Dick for a stave. Av course yo know that Tommy is frightfully bashful, and it was wid grate difficulty that bo consinted to warble forth the following lin*w. I've rote them in the silvery Dooric o' the North, just as he pronounced thim : Ma freens, the folk, I ken, in New Edinboro' toon— An' I mak th«j observation wi' a tear— Hae throttles seasoned weel be guid whisky running doon, They dinna fash sae muckle aboot beer. Let the tax come into play, Tho' we borrowed it from Grey. Ilk brewer loon may froon, and cry, " Na, na ; it winna do ; Ye wiuna, winna, Canns, canna, "Mauoa tax oor brew." We called on Johnny, next, for a song bnt he's got sich a bad cowld >• in bis throat that he caught at Lees ton, we couldn't prevail on him to sins*. The Majir offered to hteome his subshtitute, and broke ou in a fresh place, as follows : Me Bud jit is full to the top, John Hall, A-. B'gorra, on it we will stand or fall, I ve borrowed the Beer Tax from Ballance, hooray! We may *» well use up the measures of Grey ; Or else we must mizzle too, now Or else we must mizzle too, now

There was thriminjous cheerin' whin the Majir finished, and as he had the nixt call he axed Holleston to favor the company wid a melody. I may inform ye that Misther Ro]leston was the only one o' the Ministhjy who was opposed to the Beer Tax, bekays he s«d it would not go down in Christchurch,at all,at all The followin' is h'*s song :—- Och, darlints, I think if this cruel tit? passes. The Pilgrims I love will be givin'me slops; For all me konstituents are fond o' their glasses, An' faix they are likewise all partial to hops; Av coor*e I'm aware of our ehortoes o' treasure, But railly I fancy this Is a bad moire ; An' wpeakin' t* the pint, boys, they like good MEASURE, Bat this won't go down wid the Pilgrims 1 love But this won't go down wid the Pilgrims I love. We couldu't injooce Misther Bryce to exercise nis so we couldn't, an' so we broke up wid the followin' chorus : Beer, boys, Beer, no more of idle sorrow, Courage, true hearts, will bear;n» on our way; ' Hops to the fore, no lunger can we borrow From Mother England millions we can't pay. I'll sind ye some purty little tit-bits p' politikal scandal in me nixt. In the manetime allow me to remain yor obajint sarVi " V PADDY MURPHY. —«• Saturday Adveitiser."