TRIFLES BY THE WAY.

Temuka Leader, Issue 269, 15 June 1880, Page 2

TRIFLES BY THE WAY.

" Each sly Sangrado, with his poisonous pill, Flies to the Printer's Devil."—Hob. Smith,

I've a Complaint to air, or rather a question to ask, which I hope will be answered in a "practical manner." "Why are so many larrikins and hobblo-de-hoys allowed by tlie Stationnvixter to congregate on the R-dlway Station, and to make th« nitwit hideous with their demonlike yells '? " 1 lo not object to tlie boya in question goi.iy to meet the 7'25 |>.i». train, but l'*e ». kitldi-r hatred to their Insulting remarks, app icd to waiting pansengers. It's >i common oceiirren-o for an unprotected luly to be saluted vith a vol* ley of insults mid curses. Evn our policeman winked »t (he doings of theau - •' gentlemanly litle boys," who usually dance around him like poodle-dogs tfound a St Bernard's dog : A ra her hazy, but nevertlie ess appropriate, comparison. It was a custom ot the Ashburton StatiO *t~ master, (toon (be arrivl of the train, to turn everybody ttt'th- platiorm except in lending p ssengers. 1 don't say that this example bboiii' be emulated l>y <ur Sta-" coiiuiiisti'f, bnt I tliink he ought to keep off the p'a'fo ni all thus- who have a tendency to .'i>p;ay their " larrikin education urd abilities."

It is so nice and pleasant to go to Tjimain by the 1'45 p.m. luggage traiu, which, has a carriage attacht-d for fcne conv ni* ence of travellers. As a rule, the train arrives fifteen minm>s late, and the engine draws up alongside the platform, but the carriage is left about 5Q yards the other side of the Station. The passenger takes his seat, and is gotting interested in an article on " The Financial Staiement," wh« n he gets his head banged against the partition in the carriage, or lie is precipitated head first into the lap of an old lady, who is sitting opp» site to him. The engin? has simply shunted on to the train. He has gathered up, and is again engaged in the mysteries of the S'atement, when his figurehead again salutes the or he reremliraees the old lady or vice versa. This time, the engin6"nas started off at the rate of twenty mile* an hour, causing the carriage to roll ab'-ut like a ship in a gale >f wind. I've srone to Timaru oree by this train, hut I'll l*y my bottom dollar that yon don't eatch The Trifler putting his preeions body into Bitch danger again by going: South in a goods train. Oh dear, n<i \

What was described in the hills as Ray-mo-d's P.inor.tnvi of the Zti'n War appeared in the Volunteer H-dl on Ttiurs day lam at all times «Hing to acknowledge k-gitim ite ent ttnin ie nb--, but R iy-> monct's Diorama was .1 —well, wli.v shah I call it 1 Shall I say h sain le ? It was also a real magic lantern—»nt a diorama I was asked if this was the diorama that ap peared m Geialdine 12 months ago, and which so thoroughly disgusted the play- , goers of that town by its trashy nature, r

I'm very sorry indeed that I have to publish the following lines, but unless I do so I shall forfeit the ejteeni of a rich old relative of mine, resident in Ciiristchnroh. Th-3 lines are entitled "The Mormon's God," but I think they are also applicable) to others than Mormons '. —

THE MORMON'S GOD. I Money, oh money, thy praises I sing, Thou art my Saviour, my God, and my Kingi "lis for thee that I preach, and for thee that I pray, And make a collect ion twice each Sabbath Day ; I hare candles and all sorts of dresses to buy, For I wish you to know that my church id high— I don't mean in structure, or steeple, or rail, But so high that the Lord cannot reach it at all-, .. - I've poor in my parish, who need some relief, But I preach to their poverty, pray for their grief: , i I send my box round to them morning and nig' l '* -i i And i ope they'll remember the poor widow s mho. I gather my knowledge from Wisdom's great tree - An* Hid whole of my Trinity's L s and d Pounds, shillings, arc all that. I erave From the first step on earth to the brink of the grave, And when I'm laid low, arid my body at rest, Place a box on my grave—'tis my last request, , a That friends may all see who come for MltteCtion . I can't rest in peace without a collection : Money's mv creed, I'll not pray without it My -raven is closed against all thosft that doubt it, For this is the essence of parson s 10 """ Come regularly to church and be plucked like a pigeon: I'll have carriages and horses and servant* and all— ._ i I'm not going to foot it like Peter and PaiflJ Nether like John live on locusts and honey, To out with your purses and down with you* money. . . .--- Folks sometimes ask what I do my money — . iYou might just as well ask what bees do wittt honey, , I answer them all, With a wink and a nod, I keep three parts for myself, and give glory to God. -vim In the cold silent earth I may soon be laid low, ' To sleep with the blest that went long ago : I shall slumber in peace till the great reiur' roction, Then shall be first on my legs to make* collection. The Tmiiw