ZEALANDIA’S LAMENT.

Temuka Leader, Issue 224, 17 January 1880, Page 3

ZEALANDIA’S LAMENT.

A Love Lyric.

A maiden fair, In sad despair, Sat sobbing by the shore, I saw her weep Beside the deep. And heard the breakers roar. She gazed afar, Where Neptune’s car Across the waves had flown ; She murmured clear, Oh, mother dear, Pray leave me here a “loan."”

My Jn-li-us (The faithless cuss) Bestowed his lov; on me, He won my heart, Then made me “ par , To send him o’er to thee. Another gal Attracts my pal— Miss Falmouth is well known ; I would not sigh If he would try To leave me here a “loan.”

Oh, faithless knight, Although I’m tight, I’m in a sober state ; With open it ns Five million charms, I wait, my love, I wait ; B ern ember now Each plight id vow, In happy days long flown. A-jew, a-jew ! The Chosen Few Should leave me here a “loan.” Frank Fudge.

THE TRIALS OF MR KEYSER, GRANGER,

Mr Keyser mentioned recently that he had employed a new hired girl, and that soon after her arrival, Mrs Keyser, before starting to spend a day with a frirnd, instructed the girl to whitewash the kitchen during her absence. Upon returning, Mrs Keyser found the job completed in a very satisfactory manner. On Wednesday Mrs Keyser always churns, and on the following Wednesday when she was ready, she went out, and finding that Mr Keyser had already put the milk into the churn, she began to turn the handle ; this was eight o’clock in the morning, and she turnfd until ten without signs of butter appearing ; then she called in the hired man, and he turned until dinner time, when he knocked off with some very offensive language, addressed to the butter, which had not yet come. After dinner the hired girl took hold of the crank and turned it energetically until two o’clock when she let go with a remark which conveyed the expression that she believed the churn to be haunted ; then Air Keyser came out and wanted to know what was the.matter with tha* churn; it was a good enough churn if, people only knew how to use it. Mr Keyser then worked the crank until half-past three, when, as the butter had not yet come, he surrendered it agj.i i to the hired man because he had un engagement in the village ; the man ground the machine to an accomponiment of frightful imprecations ; then the Keyser eoildren each took a turn for half-an-hour ; then Mrs Keyser tried her hand ; and when she was exhausted she again enlisted the hired girl, who said her prayers while she turned. But the butter didn’t come. When Keyser came home and found the churn still in action, he felt angry ; and, seizing the handle, he said he’d make the butter come if he stirred up an earthquake in doing it, Mr Keyser effected about two hundred revolutions of the crank a minute —enough to have made any ordinary butter come from the end of the erarth ; and when the perspiration began to stream from him, and still the butter didn’t come, he uttered one wild yell of rage and disappointment and kicked the churn over the fence ; when Mrs Keyser went to pick it up, she put her nose close down to the buttermilk and took a sniff ; then she understood how it was ; the girl bad mixed the whitewash in the churn and left it there ! A good, honest,’ and intelligent servant who knows how to churn could hav found a situation at Keyser’s the nex day ; there was a vacancy