TOTAL DEPRAVITY OF FLIES.

Temuka Leader, Issue 205, 2 December 1879, Page 3

TOTAL DEPRAVITY OF FLIES.

Everybody will remember the old lr.dy of blessed memory who expressed the conviction that total depravity was a very good doctrine, if people wou'd only live up to it. It is evident that the common house fly is an earnest believer in this doctrine, and that it lives up to its faith with the utmost zeal and fidelity. The man does not live who has ever discovered a single virtue in these pestiferous creatures, while there is not a vice known to the moral code to which they are not recklessly and hopelessly addicted. It is a case of original sin working out its results unchecked, and no scheme of regeneration has ever been introduced among theirf. The ant is industrious, the bee is skilful and useful to man, the flea may be taught amusing tricks, spiders have, ere now, become pets and* have relieved the tedium of solitary prisoners, and even bugs and worms liave their modest merits, and at least sprve as food for nobler forms of creation but the fly was never knowu to perform a meritorious act, and ail his energies j aro devoted to making an unmitigated j nuisance of himself. Perhaps his most

conspicuous trait is his colossal impu i,Ci'?iiL-e. Albeit diminutive in size, lie will outdo a wilderness of betel clerks and railroad officials in the display of arrogance and impertinence. lie is more penetrating than love, and stony limits cannot keep'him out. No privacy is so 1 sacred that this pestilent intruder docs i nut make his "Way to its inner depths, without offering an apology. He never ■waits for an invitation, but comes everywhere as a ";• dead-head," without as much as remarking "by your leave." The most enterprising and persistent of special commissioners is diffident in comparison. In august assemblies of state lie invades the seat of honour, and does not forbear to perch upon the nose of the grandest plenipotentiary, or to explore the nostrils of the prime Minister. Even Kings and Queen a are not exempt from his prying curiosity, and he will walk bol lly into their royal ears, if carelessly left open, without the smallest compunction. At banquets he evades the most vigilant doorkeeper and makes himself at hojno—an unwelcome but inevitable guest. He pounces upon the choicest viands, takes a taste from every dish, and does not scruple to use the frills and laces of the company as his napkin. He hies him to my lady's chamber, and unblushingly explores its most guarded secrets. What he 'oes not know about these things is not worth knowing, and he pries into them from sheer depravity. Thence he ranges through all the habitations of high and low, and makes himself acquainted with every department of every household. He is found at every resor* of fashion or of pleasure, and is thoroughly cosmopolitan in his tastes, dea-shore and mountain are alike tc him, if lie can find human lyings to tormet t and annoy.

Not only is the fly an intolerable bore, through his persistent presence where he is not wanted, and his offensive familiarity, but his habits are U every way bad. As a " dead-head" he has no rival in animated nature. He. keeps all manner of late hours, and utterly disregards the laws of health and decency He loafs about bar-rooms, and partakes of free lunches without the least sense of

shame or degradation. He eats and drinks of everything that can bo eaten r ,or drunken, and always? at the expense else and without the slightest of gratitude. Filth is as attractive ,to him as elegance and luxury, and he a most repulsive habit of exploring every accessible mass of pollution and straightway betaking himself to the unprotect- d cheek of beauty or the delicious cates of the fastidious epicure. He delights in tormenting man, frum v.-bose labours he derives his chief sustenance, and will take '"any ■'mean advantage to give him annoyance. If his victim has the xn:sfoit.;a;j of having

to part his hair wiih a towel, h-s will railv his forces and make the expanse of the bald cr;-r.ium a regular parade jiiinnd. In- will ] ounce upon a m:;i> wliil.- he is helplfss in a barber's chair, with his arms swathed beneath half—■--dozen yards of calico, and the perilous edge of the rizor at his throat, and will harry him almost to distraction. He will catch his victim in the act of taking or trying to take a nap, whether in the morning as a fringe to the disturbed slumbers of the night, or after dinner as a restoration from the cares of the day, and with maddening ingenuity will keep him from the desired boon, and bring him to a state where he is ready to accept the council of Job's wicked wife.

And what are the consequences of the lite of iniquity pursued by this depraved insect ? Is there retribution adequate to his offences prepared for him either in this world or the world to come ? On the. theological branch of this inquiry we shall not presume to offer an opinion, but we are sure that he never comes by his full deserts here. He is idle, dissolute, gluttonous, pestiferous, and tormenting, and yet he seems to pass his life gsi y, free from care or trouble, and nefiant of-all laws, human and divine. He even defies the law of gravitation, And travels with equal ease, in any direction or en any surface not smeared with some treacherous stickiness. Apparently, he enjoys complete immunity from the retribution which his conduct deserves, except when he is entrapped through his incomparably insatiable appetite into sloughs of poison or intricate traps from which he never escapes alive. We believe it is a fact that he never dies a natural death. No one ever knew a fly to be stricken down by disease or to linger out a painful existence under niedical treatment. Fevers and headaches are to him unknown, and he breathes contagion with perfect impunity. lie sometimes falls a victim to his invincible curiosity or iusati ;ble appetite, and is scalded in tea, drowned in milk, or smothered in molasses, aud occasionally he is crushed or slaughtered as a penalty for his temerity, but he never dies of sickness or old" age. Barring accident or violence, the fly is practically immortal, a perennial nuisance, a standing example of total depravity, without, so far as we know, the eternal punishment which is its proper corollary.—New Yoke Herald.