AN ABSTRACTED BARBER.

Temuka Leader, Volume 2, Issue 157, 25 June 1879, Page 3

AN ABSTRACTED BARBER.

" Charged with assault and battery," said the judge in the Police Court yesterday, as a bullet-headed individual took the stand. "Where is the complainant ?" " If you please, your honour," said a much-pasted-np citizen, standing up, " this rascal knocked me down and threw me through the window of his barber shop, without my saying a word, either."

" The fact is, judge," said the shampooer, mournfully, " it was all along of this here blamed election. You spc, I was a prize-fighter ten years ago, afore I took to harboring. They called me the ' Peatown Slasher.' P'r'aps you've heard tell o' me." " Never mind that, sir," said the Court ; " come to the point." " That's just what I'm a-doin', yer honor, You see I was strong fur the New Constitution, and I went round with the boys Wednesday night regulat ing things, and we had a good deal of fun." " Fighting, I suppose ?"

" Yes. These was one or two tolerable scrimmages for a fact, but nothing like the good old times. I was just a-musing over how lively things used to be, 'long in '6O and '6l, when this here cove comes in fur a shave. As I was a saying, I was kinder, abstracted like, and seeing this feller taking off his coat, I gives him a clip in the jaw, sweeps up the floor with him, and chucks him through the Avindow. All a mistake, yer honor." But the ex-champion was fined 50 dollars, and went off muttering about the good old times and the high prices of the necessaries of life nowadays.—San Francisco News Letter.