A SPECTRAL BAKER.
(From tlie ‘ New York Times.’) The ancients firmly believed in a place of future punishment. When wo remember that their method of conver sation was to constantly remark, “ What ho ! my Balbus,” and “ Thou sayest truly, my Sallust,” we at once perceive that they must have bored one another to that extent that nothing less than a belief in Tartarus could have given them any comfort. It was held by all classic scientific persons and theologians that Tartarus was situated in the centre of the earth, and that rapid transit thereto was obtained by the way of volcanoes. Of course, with the progress of science, we have discarded this crude notion. We look upon the volcano as a steam safety valve, and feel perfectly certain that it has never been and never will be exposed to the risk of being chocked up with the souls of Western democratic statesmen. And yet there are certain stf.ries which the scientific persons cannot very well explain. Many vears ago an Italian vessel was sailing near Stromboli, when, from its deck, a particularly bad priest was seen sailing through the air in charge of a determinedlooking demon. The pair m- de straight ■for the mouth of StromboH, and disappeared down the crater, the bad priest loudly protesting that he preferred to go home. The astonished spectators simultaneously consulted their watches and noticed the hour. On arriving at the port they hastened to -buy the fourth edition of the afternoon paper, and looking at the list of deaths saw that the priest had died precisely at the time when they saw him navigating the air on his way to StromboH. Now, on the supposition that the ancients were right in their opinion that Stromboli is one of the gateways of Tartarus, the story is is by no means incredible ; but, if the ancients were wrong, it is quite inexplicable. The scientific persons will take a short way out of the difficulty by denying that the crew of the vessel saw what they professed to have seen, and will maintain that it is easier to suppose that they were all drunk than to suppose that the soul of a bad priest was seen to descend into the crater. This, however, will not be satisfactory to thinking men, and if they refuse to believe the story, they will prefer the more charitable theory that the vessel, its crew, and all the rest of the tale, were invented by a paragraphist of the period. But now comes a fresh story which cannot be put aside. A .few weeks since an Englishman, with his wife and children —the latter including quantities of grown-up daughters—were on the summit of Vesuvius, accompanied by a number of guides. What they were doing we are nottold, but beyond a doubt they were engaged in roasting eggs in ashes—that being the sole object for which the Neapolitan believes that Englishmen ascend the mountain. Suddenly one of the daughters saw the baker who supplied them with bread at their English home walking hurriedly towards the crater. She instantly cried out “ Papa, there is Harry.” The father looked up, and perceiving the baker, who was close at hand, exclaimd —“ Bless my soul, its’Arry—-Harry, I mean. This is very hodd—l should say odd.” Simultaneously the Englishman’s wife and all his numerous children saw the baker, recognised him, and called to him to explain “ what ever he had come there for.” The man paid no attention to their calls, but hurried on with a troubled expression of face, and carrying under his arm a bundle, which doubtless, consisted of heavy bread or burnt tarts. Beaching the brink of the crater, he sprang into the abyss and disappeared from the horrified gave of the English family. The guides who witnessed the affair remarked to one another that the strange English lord must have been even more than usually mad to thus jump into the crater, but took no further
: interest in him. One of them consented, for tv large bribe to climb a little way down the crat-w in search ot iho uvsrrable baker, but was soon driven back by the smoke. Constantly remarking that “’Arry's conduct was most hoxtruordinary,” the English traveller and his brood descended the mountain and returned to their hotel. Three days later they learned by a letter that at the precise hour when they were on the mountain, the baker had died ill his bed at his English home. Had one Englishman seen this remarkable vision, we might have said he was drunk or crazy ; but we cannot pretend that a whole English family, which, at a moderate estimate, probably consisted of a father, a mother, and twenty-seven unmarried daughters, were all labouring under a delusion. Moreover, the guides saw the shadowy baker plunge into the crater, and are prepared for a reasonable compensation to make affidavits to that effect, and to supplement them by appeals to the Virgin and San Gennaro to certify to the truth of their statements. The evidence in support of the story is precisely alike in character to that which the average person who stays at home has of the existence of a crater on the summit of Mount Vesuvius. A number of tourists, and a number of guides, assert that they have seen the crater. If we believe them, why should we not believe a number of tourists and a number of guides who assert that they have seen the ghost of an English baker leap into the crater. It will be readily acknowledged by all housekeepers that Vesuvius is particularly suited to the average baker. If the wretched “Harry” was like other bakers, he must have constantly exasperated the British public by bringing morning muffins three hours after breakfast time, by serving sour and heavy bread, and by supplying innocent nurseries with wholly inedible tarts. There was a peculiar fitness in his fate. He had burned tarts in his lifetime, and it was now only fair that he should “know how it was himself”—-to use the familiar expression of the late Mr Tweed. He had baked heavy bread, and if his ghost was weighted with a bundle of such bread as a sinker, poetic justice was observed. On the whole, when we consider the evidence of the many eyewitness on the mountain, and the undoubted fitness of the crater as a final lodging for an habitual baker, the probability of the story seems too great to be denied. It is to be hoped that American as well as English bakers will take warning. Like the plumbers, they have latterly taken great comfort in the encouraging theory of Colonel Ingersoll. Here, however, is a single refutation of the Western tlioologafin’s views. ’"What has happened to one baker may, and probably will, happen to others. That only one spectral priest of notoriously bad character has been seen to be hurled into Strombob, and that only one ghostly baker has been seen to descend Vesuvius, is doubtlesss due to the fact that such incidents usually take place at night. Wc may now look to see a revival of faith in the classic opinion .as to the functions of volcanoes, and an improvement in the character of Englisli bread and tarts, and in the punctuality of English bakers. Of course, scientific persons will affect to doubt the story of Harry’s ghost, but they cannot overthrow evidence by mere impudent denial.
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Temuka Leader, Volume 2, Issue 150, 31 May 1879, Page 3
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1,242A SPECTRAL BAKER. Temuka Leader, Volume 2, Issue 150, 31 May 1879, Page 3
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