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Temuka Leader, Volume 2, Issue 146, 17 May 1879, Page 2

The 'Living Issue' asks r anxiously, "Will you elect a drunkard president Y' Yes ! course ; go-ahead, send your name right in to the Convention, and we'll whoop you through. An exchange says : " Alcohol will clean out the inside of an inkstand." Itwill also clean out ihe inside of a pocketbook a little more thoroughly and quickly than anything else on record. " What makes dogs mad ?" asks an exchange.- Boys. It makes a dog mad as a wet hen the minute Le sees a boy with a tin can in one hand and a string in the other, looking for something to tie them to. The microphone has recently been so improved that you can tell' what a man thinks when you hand back his bill and tell him to call again with it. It is invariably, as reported by the microphone, something that had better be thought than said. And now the Chinese claim that the telephone is nearly two thousand years old, having been in use about that time in their country. 0, pagans with the almond eyes, there is something that is older than the telephone. Lying. It is older than the great Chinese wall. It is older than the city of Pekin. It is as old as the first Chinese historian, and about as reliable. Now that the winter is upon us, and the air will soon be tilted with appeals to our benevolence, it is time for us to button our pockets and remember that " charity begins at home." There would be a towering monument erected to the author of that saying if it wasn't for one thing; ihe people who quote it oftenest are too stingy to give a nickel for anything except two three-cent stamps.