ODDS AND ENDS.

Temuka Leader, Volume 2, Issue 126, 5 March 1879, Page 3

ODDS AND ENDS.

Best Thing to do when you go Shopping with Ladies—Take notes. A Soldier in the Ritualist Ranks who won't obey his Superior Officers.— Private Judgment. Forage is necessary for tame horses, but wild horses grow fat without ever having had a bit in their mouths. AN EPIGRAM. "An ejn'gram's a bee—a little thing, With just a buzz, some honey, and—a sting." The man who goes to church simply because he has nothing else to do, may not be a heathen, but he is certainly an idle worshipper. In a discussion on cremation at a London club a member is credited with the argument : ' ; We earn our living, why should we not urn our dead V The Difference Between Ritualists and Rationalists. —Only literal. The one are Latitudinarians—the other Attitudinarians. " How even the lawn looks, my dear!" said she to her husband, as they were taking a suburban stroll. "Even!" he exclaimed," I'm disposed to think its sod." " Is your master up ?" asked an early visitor of a nobleman's valet. " Yes, Sir," answered the valet, with great innocence ;" the butler and I carried him up about three o'clock." Alluding to the death of a citizen recently, the 'Danbury News' remarks, " With the single exception of twentythree years ago, when he took a few lessons on a violin, his life has been blameless." " I move the previous question," said a delegate to a Montana convention. The chairman, " If the chair recollects right, the question was on adjourning for drinks. Those in favor, say yes ; contrary minded, no." The chair was about to announce the unanimous result, when he noticed the room was empty. The Benefit of Laughing.—Dr. Greene, in his " Problem of Health," suys there is not the remotest corner or iiitie inlet of the minute blood vessels of the human body that does not feel some wavelet from the convulsion occasioned by good, hearty laughter, the life principle, or the central man, if taken to its innermost depth, sending new tides of life and {strength to the surface, thus materially tending to insure good health to persons who indulge therein. The blood moves more rapidly, and conveys a different impression to all the organ of the bocy, as it visits them on that particular mystic journey when the man is laughing, from what it does at other times. For this reason every good hearty laugh in which a person indulges tends to lengthen his life, conveying as i it does new and distinct stimulus to the I vital forces. Doubtless the time will come when physicians, conceding more importance than they now do to the influence to the mind upon the vital forces of the body, will make their prescriptions mo e witli reference of the mind, and less to drugs for the body ; and will, in so doing, And the best and most effective method of producing the required effects upon the patient.

The Last Grievance.—Home Ruler (indig:.antly) : "Is our opprissed counthry always to W in the uiinoritec, Mr. Flanagan ? Oi see here, be the London peepers, that among these Glasgow Bank shareholders, whoile England and Scotland are Largely intherested, Oireland is only riprisinted by a beggarly two, sorr ! !" Edison is inventing a machine to turn over the festive slapjack while the hired girl sits in the corner and reads the latest novel. Move on, great army of progress. And that Peremptorily ! —Young Mother : " What do young children say when they get candy ?" Infant Recipient of Confections : " More !" " One is a glass in eyes and the other is isinglass." That is the answer, and a very clever one it is, too. What we want now is a conundrum to meet it. In a first class carriage by the five o'clock train from Euston Square sat two gentleman, up to that time, and probably since, strangers to each other. The elder lived near Crewe ; the younger, en route for Ireland, intended to sleep at Chester. The conversation between them grew animated. Saith the elder presently, "'Give up your idea of sleeping at Chester, and do me the honour of passing the night at my house." The offer was accepted with grateful effusion. On leaving in the morning, said the guest, '•' Answer my question frankly. What induced you, on such an insufficient acquaintance, to confer so great a benefit on me ?" Replied the host, ".As you press me, your question shall be frankly answered. My wife always tells me that I am the ugliest man in Great Britain ; I wished to show her that there was an uglier."—World.