ODDS AND ENDS.

Temuka Leader, Volume 2, Issue 112, 11 January 1879, Page 3

ODDS AND ENDS.

A popular stakeholder—Tho gridiron. The advance Guard.—A betrothal ring. The “ air of importance” is one’s first breath. Where to recover yourself—At the tailor’s. Why is a leaky barrel like a coward ? —Because it runs. Who ever heard of a mosquito being overcome by the beat. A singer who lives in a glass house always throws tones. Artichokes are good for rheumatism, and hearty jokes for dyspepsia. Hens come into the world by the hatchway. There’s music in the heir—when your hoy cries. The late George Robins, the Avellknnvn auctioneer, said in one of his advertisements of an estate he had for sale, “ In that favoured region the moon is always at the full.” Why are handcuffs like guide books ? —Because they are made for two wrists. “ Mamma, can’t avg have anything Ave want ?”—“ Yes, my dears ; but he careful and not want any thing you can’t have.” Hood, in describing the meeting of a man and a lion, said “the man ran off with all his might and the lion with all his mane.” “ Suppose wc pass a law,” said a severe father to ids daughters, “ that no girl eighteen years , old who can’t cook shall get married till she learns how to do it ?” “ Why, then, avcTl all get married at seventeen !” responded the girls in a sweet chorus. Two persons of a satirical turn met a neighbour, and said Friend, we have been disputing Avhether you arc most knave or fool.” The man took each of the querists by the arm, so that he was in the middle. “ In truth,” said he, “ I believe I am between both.” Mamma (avuo has been quietly watching certain surreptitious proceedings): “ Willie, who helped you to that cake?” “ Willie, (promptly) : “ Hebbeu, mamma.” Mamma (sternly) ; “ Bh-sh-sh. you naughty hoy ! how dare you tell such stories ?” Willie ; Taiu’t my fault it’s a Tory, ma. Didn.t pa tell beggarrnau zut hebbeu helped shose zat helped zemselvcs ? ”