ODDS AND ENDS.

Temuka Leader, Volume 2, Issue 111, 8 January 1879, Page 3

ODDS AND ENDS.

Aunt Mary : “ Who first conquered England, Felix ?” Felix : “The Australian cricketers. Aunt.” Melbourne Punch. A “ Ladies’ Shoemaker ” advertises himself as one of the sole her system. At Home, do as Romany. u° ; that is to say, get a hand-organ and a sore-eyed monkey and sail fur Britain. Precaution.—An Irish gentleman having a wry small picture-room, which agroupofpersnns was entering, exclaimed, “ Faith gentleman, if you all go in, it will not hold you.” Customer : “ Waiter, this bit of turbot is not so good as that you gave us yesterday.” Waiter: “Beg pardon, sir : it’s off the same fish.” The first Lord Lyttelton was very absent. It is declared of him that when he fell into the river by the upsetting of a boat near Hagley, “ he sank twice before lie recollected lie could swim.” A New York paper gives the following storv in illustration of absent-mindedness of the great Jonathan Edwards. When out riding one day, a little boy wry respectfully bowed and opened a gate for him. “Whose boy are you, my little man ?” he asked. “ Noah Clark’s boy, sir.” was the answer. On the return of Edwards, the same boy appeared and opened the gate for him. He thanked the little fellow, and again asked : “ Whose boy are yon ? ” “ Noah Clark’s, sir ; the same man’s boy 1 was a quarter oi an hour ago, sir.’ ” It is said tbat“ glass eyes for horses are now so beautifully made that they completely defy detection. The imitation must be wonderful indeed, for we understand that the horses cannot see through the deception. “Wha’s de time o’dav, ole ’oman?” said a coloured countryman to Aunt Milly, trying to poke fun at the brass chain that held her front door key around her nock.“ Look at de town clock, chile. Dats built hr px ’folks.” ENGAGED TO A LADY OF FOUTUXE. j A farm servant who bad engaged as a | harvest baud to a fanner in this locality i wrote to his employer in the following j peculiar strain with the view of having { his fee augm nhd : j Aberdeen, 12th August 1873. i Dear Sir | Since J saw you in Stonehaven Market i I have engaged to get mavri.-d to a lady of I great fortune. ; She v.; ! not allow im to come to you | in harvest. She is just about to start for ! paris, and it is mare than likely twill ac- j couxpiny bir. j But I think iii r r man is because I | have so little xva«r<"n 1 in rest of my mats | has all lbs umr.wbh the exception of one j man. She- has mulch a good opinion of me, as ev -rv Woman 1 as offer husband I or swecthavt. that she, thinks I can work a day’s w eric with a iy man. But if you would say that you would | give urn "thin - lOs J. might get Imr pro- 1 vailed upon to a.low m 1 to com •. \ Hoepiugto hear from you b Fre Friday I am. Dear Sir, your humble servant, It may be add. ;! that the (arm -- r was callous to the a - ] vane •« of the “ ladie ot great fortune’s” admirer, and that lie wrought through the harvest without receiving theextia pay Im desired. It has not, however, transpire d win. llier by doing so lie lost the “good openicn of this sweethart.” —‘ Montrose St.xndnri.’ The following s'ory appears in the ‘New Zealand Herald’ of 24th December; The Hon. Mr Sheehan was a passanger yesterday from the South, per steamer Wellington. An incident in connection with him afforded considerable amusement to some of the passengers who were within earshot of the conversation. Amongst those on board was a garrulous little man. who apmared fond of hearing himself speak, and who evidently took a lively intrust in o'hcr people’s affairs. Having heard that Mr Sheehan was (a) Native Minister, be availed himself of an opportunity of giving him a little of his mind. “ Good morning, sir; line day.” “ Yes, a very fine day,” in Mr Sheehan’s usual courteous manner. A number of questions were then asked, as to how long he had been in Wellington, how lie liked '‘ the work,” the religious condition of 'lie natives, and added, “ I suppose you have done a great deal of good, and have been the means of winning many souls during your mission ?” This, for a moment, was a staggerer even for Mr Sheehan, Iml be replied with his usual caution, “He hoped he bad, but time only could tell.” lie was then asked why be allowed meals on board without first asking a blessing. He replied “ that bo had been late at the table, but would see that the omission did not occur again.” The question of the desecration of the Sabbath by allowing goods and luggage to be landed on Sunday, was then urged by the interrogator, Mr Sheehan quite sympathising with him, at the same time quietly remonstrating with the old gentleman for travelling and loading In’s own goods on that day. Mr Sheehan having consented to hold religious service some time during the Sunday at his friend’s request, lie was left for some one else,, who happened to cateli the eye of the inquisitive passenger. The perfect control which Mr Sheehan maintained over bis Fatales was admirable, but a close observer could notice a merry twiqkle ja Ids eye.

Tim jepjsirs and protective works to the railway t the Waimakariri will cost £l2, QUO. The G' ristchurch-Dum din line is to be laid with 521 b steel rails. The alteration is already commenced. Seven different binders arc entered for tile C.A. and P.A. trial at Christchurch. Wood’s, Osborne’s, the Masillon, M’Cormick’s, Harvester King,|the Marsh Harvester, and the Buckeye, y The ‘ Australasian,’ remarking upon the effect of protection in Victoria, draws attention to the state of the labour market in New Zealand. It says :—“ New Zealand neglects to foster labour by protective laws, and even adopts the suicidal course of bringing immense numbers of immigrants to compete against labourers already there. But instead of there being a plethora of labourers seeking work and finding none, and ready to accept the most miserable wages to get employment, what do we find '? We are told that, owing to the recent reduction of the number of immigrants, ‘ demands fur labour are being made in several parts of the colony.’ To an application from Taranaki, the answer is ‘We have none to spare from other places ; all are clamouring for more immigrants.’ Again. ‘At a meeting of master builders of Dunedin it was reslvcd not to advance wages beyond current rates, which are as folio .vs: —Plasterers, 15s; bricklayers, 14s ; masons. 14s ; carpenters, 12s ; painters 12s ; labourers, 8s and 9s.’ As against all this, we have in Victoria extreme duhicss in the building trades, complaints of inability so procure employment, and very reduced consumption of stone from the quarries and bricks from the brickfields. We know that Victoria is the working man’s paradise, that Mr Berry is the working man’s Premie-, and that all of our legislation is ruled by the ideas of the working man. But somehow the result is not as could he wished, and we should like our ptotectionist friends to explain to us which it is that is wrong, the theory or the facts.”