ODDS AND ENDS.

Temuka Leader, Volume I, Issue 103, 11 December 1878, Page 3

ODDS AND ENDS.

When is a lawyer like a donkey ? When he is drawing a conveyance.

“Heie is your writ of attachment,” said a town clerk as he handed a lover a marriage license. The girl who succeeds in winning the true love of a true man makes a lucky hit and is herself a lucky miss.

Intending to compliment a young lady bycallingher a gentlc l amb,a Frenchman said, “ She is one mutton as is small.” The old fogey who poked his head out from behind the “times,” has had it knocked suddenly by a “ passing event.” “ Pa,” said a little boy, “ I saw a lion and a lamb lying side by side in the meadow this morning,” “ Tut, tut, James, Don’t tell such stories,” said the father. “ I tell you I did,” persisted the child, u but it was a dandelion.” Scandal.— A. writer says :—“ Nature is a faultless workman. She never makes a mistake. In order to give women something wherewith to occupy their minds and hands, she gave them long hair. At the same time, forseeiug that circumstances might arise in which the possession of long hair would I e inconvenient, she made the back hair of woman (h tachable, so that it can be taken off and laid aside whenev-r su,h a course seems desirable.”

Cure. —A m m had rheumatism, and in just one half Ik ur he learned that the following will cure it : —lodide of potassium, quinine, glaubi r salts, onions, raw lemons, halted lemons, raw silk, oiled silk, gin and tansey, Tuikish baths, a potato carried in the pocket, an eel-skin tied round the leg, a suit of red flannel, chloroform inim m, hut water, cold water, hot L inonade, a dry atmosphere, equable temperature, sulphur baths, mustard and hot water, camphor liniment, electricity, etc. He said he hopes for a cure whom ho has gone through this list.

A Brute. —A lady at a summer resort whose unruly children annoyed everybody in the hotel, said to a noted teacher, “ Professor, do you believe in the use of the rod in the management of children ?” The professor glared at her annoying children, and grimly x-cpled, Sometimes, madam ; but there are cases where I should prefer the revolver.” At the Missouri State Prison, at Jefferson City, during the last six months of. their, term, prisoners that have been well-behaved are allowed to go out and work in the city, as teamsters, laborers, &c. They are perfectly free, and are not under any supervision by guards. Uf course, at night they have to return to the penitentiary. While in the city they are not allowed to enter any stores or saloons ;if this regulation is infringed they are immediately confined to the prison. Attempts at escape while thus working free from all surveillance have been very rare for should they be recaptured they have to serve a double term under more stringent rules and regulations.