ODDS AND ENDS.

Temuka Leader, Volume I, Issue 99, 27 November 1878, Page 3

ODDS AND ENDS.

A f low was on trial before a police magistrate for stealing chickens. The proof was circumstantial, the main thing seeming to be that footmarks were f iumi

in the snow near the roost exactly corresponding with prisoner's boots—patches, nails, and all. The prisoner's counsel thought he had a green one in the prosecutor's witness, who was apparently all that fancy painted him. Counsel put this question :—" Now how do you know my client had on - these boots last night ? How do you know I didn't have'em on ! " The witness demurely answered, " 'cause you didn't know they's any chickens there ! " The prisoner was convicted.

The following is a copy of a workman's bill, taken from the record of Winchester Cathedral, A.D. 1182:—For work done —ln soldering and repairing St Joseph, 8d ; cleaning and ornamenting the Holy Ghost, 6d ; repairing the Virgin Mary before and behind, and making a new child 4s 8d ; screwing a nose in the Devil, putting in the hair of his head, and placing a new joint in his tail, 5s 6d.

The ' Mount Ida Chronicle' gives the following :—Here is a little incident for the readers of ' Current Topics," which emanates from the land of " cornstalks": at least with the prices and covers, possessed by young men in stationers' shops, is surprising, but it occasionally fails. A solemn and strict divine walking into a shop not far from King street, the other day, very seriously asked the shopman for a copy of ' Alford on the Eucharist.' The young man cast his eyes on the shelves, and taking down a volume, observed, 'I do not think we have it, sir, but here is the last edition of ' Hoyle's Games,' which includes euchre as well as every other game at cards 1" Ihe divine departed without purchasing. The laziest place in Germany—Eidelberg. Why is Gibralter one of the most wonderful "places in the world ?—Because it is always on the rock, but never moves. The Wellington ' ChronieV says : " The other evening some unkindly-dis-posed person tied a piece of beef to the knocker of the door at the residence of the hon member for Geraldine. The consequence was that he was aroused several times from his happy slumbers, and he only discovered the intruders by watching from behind the curtain. They were two dogs and cat, striving to collar the prize." The best way to keep apple jam from spoiling is to spread it on bread, and eat it up. Young men should take pattern by pianos—begsquare, upright, grand. We see it stated that a sailor has lost a couple of fingers while tackling a cask of beer. He may think hhnself fortunate. Cinder similar circumstances men have lost th ir I gs. Aunt Towzer does riot.think it creditable that an " innkeeper's Bill " should have been brought into the House ot Commons. If the members want refreshments, they should pay ready money for them.

Emerson defines a weed as a " plant whose virtues have not yet been discovered." Another good definition for a weed would be " a cabbage leaf trying to palm itself off for pure Havana tobacco. 1 '

American papers say that Edison, the inventor, has perfected a fog-horn that can be heard ten miles ; but when it comes to an invention for getting his hired girl up in the morning, he smiles sadly and falls to musing on the infinite.

Frederic, King of Sweden, of the house of Hesse-Cassel, passisg one day by a village, the minister of the parish was anxious to present him with an address ; but hearing that the monarch, already satiated with addresses and long harangues, would pay but little attention to what he might say, he resolved to sing him some verses of his own composition. The king, much astonished at this mode of address, listened with open ears, and, finding the verses good, said " Encore ! " The minister hastened to reyeat them, and the monarch presented him with fifty ducats. Then the singer, with a low bow, said in his turn, " Encore ; " and the king was so pleased with this sally that he doubled the present. A witness in a Charleston court refused to sign a deposition taken down in shorthand, on the ground that he could not be compelled to put his siguature to any document not in ordinary writing. The presiding judge sent him to gaol for contempt, and the ease is to go to the Supreme Court. An English paper notes a somewhat novel bet as follows :—Professor Gilbert and Hay den, both aeronauts of some note, have just made a match for a balloon " &ekenbecker " holding 60,060 feet of gas, and the balloon " Levisteele," holding 48,000 feet. Hayden bets 500 dols. against 306 dols.. that he, with the smaller balloon, will rise higher and remain in the air longer than Gilbert, with the larger balloon. Each is to send a man with his rival, carrying an instrument to determine the height attained. The match from its novelty is attracting considerable attention. The date of the ascension is not yet fixed. If we may judge by the complicated machinery found necessary to keep them within the rules English coal miners must be an insubordinate lot. The Odling Safety Lamp requires a hydraulic press worked up to 400 lbs per square incli to unlock it, and it cannot, without breaking, l.p opened by any other means.

An American grower says : —I may be asked what 1 consider a crop of strawberries. Tdo not think a variety worthy of cultivation unless it will yield at least 200 Imshcls per sx-r,: when it has a fair chance.

Tin intelligent v:igrant of the l Bruce Herald' tills the following story:—A man's acquisitive propensities are occasionally defeated by their .own influence. A gentlemen who keeps a shop in Milton took what he considered a very fine retriever in pawn the other day for the loan of a few shillings. The dog costs sixpence a day for food, has so decided a taste for mutton with the wool on that he has to be kept perpetually chained up in a chronic condition of howling and now the dog tax collector wants the gentleman to pay the usual license fee for him. The dog would have been killed, or sold, or let go by this time only that the gentleman has a handy book on the law of personal property in the house and he is afraid of the Ihw about " larcenv as a bailee," or something of that kind.