HOLIDAYITIS.

Taranaki Daily News, 15 December 1922, Page 3 (Supplement)

HOLIDAYITIS.

MUSINGS FROM MOTUROA. (By “The Twinkier.”) Local symptoms point to an early attack of holidayitis throughout the Taranaki district. Owing to climatic conditions and the temperament of our people, the attack is likely to take the form of an epidemic. An attack is usually marked by a considerable broadening of the features east and west, the development of a robust thirst, and an inordinate crave for dainty food and scanty dress.. In order to allay undue alarm, we hasten to describe some previous “visitations/ - as seen in our dreams! In passing we may inform our readers that Taranaki with its mountain, and gullies, and sea beaches, is most favourable to the development of Holidayitis. “The Twinkier” was abroad early, but the general scenery was already decorated with children tumbling and playing on the ribbed sea sand, and the grown-ups and half grown-ups were indulging in games of rounders, miniature cricket, and the like. The sky was as clear and blue as one could wish, and a gentle cool breeze filtered through the trees. Nearby were a lad and a lass evidently on the high road to the altar. The gentleman amused himself by tickling the lady under the armpits, and she evidently enjoyed it, although she told him to “ave a ’art.” A hefty youth nearby, with his boots on the tablecloth, was wrestling with the leg of a fowl. When he paused in the struggle, he cried: “Say, mum, this is a tough old bird; might play a banjo solo on his sinews!” Four merry men were playing catchers with a wind ball. By and by one of them missed the ball and it lodged in the scrub. He groped for it, and exclaimed, “Here it is!” He turned quickly and threw it at another man. but the latter misjudged the missile and it hit him on the nose. It was a ripe tomato. Language? You’re right. I wish I could reproduce it for the benefit and the instruction of our Parliament; but it was obscured by the general merriment. Enough to say what it lacked in politeness it supplied in •vigor. A mild diversion was provided by the efforts of a tiny tot to swallow a whole banana. First aid was called in. after wMch the child consumed tne fruit in more leisurely and accommodating morsels. Presently a red-nosed gentleman arrived with a bottle, and after delivering an oration to a cow on the delights of Christmas, he (tij£ man and not the cow) sank into slumber that was both refreshing and audible. A gay young thing, of at least seventy summers, was playing cricket with her children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren. Aye, and when she hit. a two-er how they did shout and clap and cheer! Under the shade of the scrub a dismal man sang, “There Is a Happy Land Not Far Away.” to the accompaniment of an aeeordeon with an internal complaint. There were hosts of pretty girls dressed in pretty drosses and carrying dainty “vanity bags.” from which they renewed their complexion at intervals and titivated •their hair. Tt was pathetic to watch a dear old gentleman trying to crack a walnut with his false teeth that were loose. The most important events of the day were the meals, which wore frequent and varied. Our Taranaki climate can work wonders with digestive organs. The following may be taken as a fair average repast: Plate of corned beef, pork and ham, with cucumber, pickles, and sauce: a return of same; three serves of Christmas pudding; a few scones, apples, figs, bananas, walnuts; also peanuts, almonds, and chocolates; ice creams, and four cups of tea. This ‘-'snack,” with a few cigars and a ’pipe, will suffice for quite two hours. Yet folk say our climate is enervating! “Twinkier” is reminded of the man who consulted the doctor about loss of appetite and was advised to take some I roast, beef, boiled mutton, pork chops, and German sausage, with a few dumplings to “top it up.” “Thank yon. doctor.” said the grateful patient, “is this /before or after meals?” The epidemic usually runs its course in about three days at Christmas, with a possible relapse a few days later, and then a return to normal conditions.