SMILES FOR THE SEASON.

Taranaki Daily News, 24 December 1921, Page 11

SMILES FOR THE SEASON.

THE CYNIC’S OFFERING. It’s a long head that has no turning. Marriage is serious only when it’s for life. The egotism for women is always for two. Without money all is vain; with it all is vanity. It you want to make light of trouble, keep it dark. He who lives without folly is not as wise as he fancies. Some women’s motto —'It’s never' too late to pretend. Worry is the interest paid on trouble before it becomes due. Always pay debts and compliments and you will always succeed. Love makes the world go round, and that’s what makes us giddy. All easy ways are downhill. You don't notice it till you try to climb back. The man who does what he pleases, is seldom pleased with what he does. Don’t marry a saint. They’re better to try to live up to than to live with. A snapsiiot photograph often demonstrates that truth is stranger than fiction.

If politeness costs nothing, why is it that so few men give any of it to their wives,

At a wedding a bride weeps because its hers,, and her friends because it isn’t theirs.

Experience is what a wise man gets at the expense of others, and a fool at his own.

A bridegroom is like a microbe on an elephant—about the most insignificant thing there is. It is difficult for any grown man to realise that he was once the prettiest baby in the world. In the game of life the handsome woman scores by honors, and the plain woman by tricks.

Love is like debt—the satisfaction of falling out is only less than the fun of falling in again. A widow’s advantage is that she can give references which cannot be disputed, by the departed. Every cloud has a silver lining, but that is poor consolation when you can’t see through the cloud. No one really understands how to manage a man except a spinster. That’s why she so often remains one.

Women give to men the very gold of their lives; but they invariably want it back in such very small change. The only difference between a grass widow and a real one is that the former is in clover, and the latter in weeds. Some women regard their husbands as they do the Ten Commandments—something to be studied, but not obeyed. Women are always finding each other out, which accounts for the appalling mortality among feminine friendships all the world over.

Never believe a woman can’t do without you—she can; but if she does, she’s afraid you’ll find out you can do without her too.

Man was made for woman, and woman for man. Nearly all the trouble in life is due to the fact that they both think they , were made for themselves.