AFTER THE CHRISTMAS DINNER.

Taranaki Daily News, 16 December 1921, Page 5 (Supplement)

AFTER THE CHRISTMAS DINNER.

BRIGHT THINGS OF ALL TIMES. THAT PEOPLE HAVE LAUGHED OVER. HIS LIMIT. He was about the slowest boy on earth and his parents apprenticed him to a naturalist. He was a willing worker, even if it did take him an hour to stick a pin through a dead butterfly and two hours more to give the canaries their seed. One winter day he had spent the whole, afternoon in changing the water in the goldfish bowl. Finally he finished and then asked his employer: “What shall I do now, sir?” The naturalist surveyed him mildly. “I think, Robert,” he said, “you might take the tortoise out for a run.” THEIR REAL REASON REVEALED. The Scotch bagpipe players were breaking the atmosphere into thousands of fragments with their instruments. “Why do these pipers keep walking up and down as they play?” asked one stranger of another. “I don’t know,” was the peevish answer, “unless it makes them harder to hit.” BEYOND HIM. Bobby was out calling ■ with his mother. “And so,” said the hostess to him, “your little baby brother can talk now.” “Yes’m, he can say some words real well.” “How nice!” beamed the lady; “and what words are «they?” “I don't know,” confessed Bobby. “I gever beard any- them Wore/*

CHRISTMAS DIPLOMACY. She was buying some Christmas cigars for her husband, and the dealer sold her a box for forty cents. “Her husband will give you fits when he gets those,” said a bystander to the cigar man. “Oh, no, he won’t,” said the dealer placidly. “He told me to sell her those. His wife would divorce him if she knew he paid five dollars a box for his cigars.” IT ISN’T YOUR TOWN—IT’S YOU. If you want to live in the kind of a town That’s the kind of a town you like, You needn’t slip your clothes in a grip And start on a long, long hike. You’ll find elsewhere what you left behind, For there’s nothing that’s really new It’s a knock at yourself when you knock your town; It isn’t your town —it’s you. Real towns are not made by men afraid Lest somebody else gets ahead; When everyone works and nobody shirks You can raise a town from the dead. And if while you make your personal stake Your neighbor can make one too, Your town will be what you want to see; It isn't your town —it’s you. THAT WAS HIS GRIEVANCE. The two motor cars had almost collided and one of the drivers was expressing his opinion of the other with great freedom. “What’s the matter with you?” demanded the other. “What are you making all this fuss about? We haven’t hurt you or your car. You can’t bring an action against us, you know.” , “I know I can’t sir—l know I can t! shouted the truculent one. 3 us t