DIDN'T KNOW HERRIES.

Taranaki Daily News, 19 August 1919, Page 3

DIDN'T KNOW HERRIES.

{From the Auckland Star.) By contributing to the rather pale gaiety of the hour, such an experience as that of the returned officer during the week does something to mitigate tne hardship and annoyance caused by the railway restrictions. Arrived by the Niagara, the soldier and his wife went to the railway station to get tickets lor the South. There was no trouble obout the man's, but his wife's case was different. Proof that she was his wife was demanded, sc the officer went to ihe Niagara and got a certificate from somebody or other saying that the lady was what he and she declared her to be. Surely if officialdom is going to take a stand like this it should require more proof than this. A certificate from the purser of a ship doesn't prove that A and B are married; it only proves that they say they are married. The only proof of marriage is a marriage certificate, and even then it is possible that the certificate may have been made out. for persons other than the holders. Is every Auckland married couple that applies for a permit to travel compelled to bring "proof" of their marriage ? The demand may be awkward for travellers from home, for only people in melodramas carry their marriage lines in their breastpockets, or in their bodices. After "hearing this story I had a dream —a lovely, satisfying dream. I dreamt I was the issuing official in Wellington, and a tall, heavily-built Man applied to me for a ticket to travel to Auckland. "Who are you?" said I. "I am the Hon. W. H. Herries, Minister of Kailways," replied he. "Are you?" said I. "You may be, but I have no proof of that." "Surely you know me," said the applicant. "But here's' my card, and my secretary here will vouch for me." ',

"I'm sorry, " I replied, "but I have no official knowledge that you are entitled to carry this card, or that this gentleman is your secretary." "Confound it," he said, "here's, my member's pass"—holding out the gold and enamel ornament on his watdh chain. "You will reebgnise this."

"Excuse me," .1 said firmly. "As a private citizen I know that members earry such passes, but I have no official knowledge of the fact. Anyhow, how do 1 know you haven't stolen it?" He was very angry at this, and I said t would close the interview if he wasn't careful. Finally, I said that if he brought along Sir James Allen, Sir William Fraser, and Mr. ft. W. Russell to vouch for the fact that he was MrMerries, and with them the OovernorUeneral to prove that these gentlemen were the aforesaid Ministers, I would consider the matter. He went away and came back some hours later with the whole lot—and two mounted policemen with drawn swords riding ahead of the Governor's car. 1 took their affidavits, and then asked Mr. Herries what he wanted to travel for.

"That's my business," he said. "I'm running the railways." "Well," said I, "if you can't run them better than you've been doing you don't deserve to travel. Application refused,"