THE PARSON AND THE MAJOR.

Taranaki Daily News, 22 July 1916, Page 9

THE PARSON AND THE MAJOR.

'PROMISED A CHAPLAXCY.

STORY OF A £2O MAN.

The present time lends itself to many old soldier tales and frauds, and a. highly amusing story of how an Auckland clergyman fell a victim to the hoary imposition in a new guise is' told by the reverend gentleman against himself (says the Star). For many moons the clergyman, a young and active man, has been endeavoring to obtain the consent of his Bishop to applying for a chaplaincy, but his appeals have fallen/upon stony ground. Recently, however, be lighted upon the intelligence in the newspaper that Major • ,of the Australian force, was in Auckland, and the happy thought came ifchat the major might put him on the track of obtaining a chaplaincy in the Australian Force.

WELL, WELL!

The gallant officer was staying at a more or less swagger hotel. Over the telephone the parson sought an introduction. "Are you Major ?—l'm the Rev. Timothy Blank, of Church." And over the wires floated the story of the inexorable Bishop and an appeal for guidance. "But, surely, you. are not Timothy Blank, who used to go to school? You don't say so! Don't you remember Johnny ?" Well, of course, as Johnny and Timniy were as thick as thieves in the days of youth and innocence it was only natural that the major cordially invited his old chum to "come up to my hotel, old man." The parson needed no second invitation I The unrelenting figure of the Bishop 'split down the middle, and revealed the smiling vista of a short, straigßt cut over the rosebeds to a captain-chaplaincy in the Australian Liglrt Horse. Ho! for the stirring nights around the camp fire, with the horses picketed and the stories of the lion days going the round. So Timniy and Johnny, and it was Johnny of the school days right enough. The formal prefixes of "Major" and "Reverend'' were promptly dropped by mutual tacit consent, and it was Timmy and Johnny of the days of treacle tarts and succulent buns once more.

The day of parting came at last. The Major had to return to Sydney. The day before he went they talked business, the clergyman being given full particulars as to' luggage and kit, and "swallowing it all like mother's milk." to use the words of the family circle version. A further appointment was made, but instead of turning up the major got on the telephone to explain that he was awfully sorry" he could not get out that day, as lie was in some trouble. WALLET OVERBOARD. He proceeded to spin a woeful story of how he was a little bit merry on the voyage over, and had droned his wallet, containing his passport, ticket and £3O in cash overboard. The clergyman was naturally very sympathetic, but was sorry that he was not in a position to advance the money in time for the boat. 'Wouldn't hear of accepting it, old chap," replied the Major, who really didn't anticipate any difficulty. He had seen the 0.C., Who would fix up the passport all right, and he supposed he could wire to the Australian military authorities for money, although it would be rather bad form, dontcherknow! The upshot of it was that Timniy at last came to the rescue by suggesting that the Major should borrow £22 10s, the amount required, in a quarter where Ms reverend friend's name was good enough to guarantee the borrower's bona fides, although no formal guarantee was required. So Johnny sailed, and Timmy waited by return of mail for the glad tidings of the chaplain-majorship—and incidentally for the £22 10s. The days passed and the letter came not, and a gentle reminder sent to the Major was returned through the Criminal Department of Australia about a week ago. All this time it 'had never crossed the clergyman's mind that his old school chum was anything but a slow payer. Hence, it was a painful shock when he read in the paper before the, return of Me letter that a man answering to Johnny's name had been arrested for masquerading in the uniform of a, major. Johnny bad a long string of crimes to his name, and was described as a wellknown Sydney crook. Enquiry of the Australian Police Department showed that the Commonwealth detectives were quite familiar with the crooked ways of Johnny, who had for years been in the Department's list of well-known characters.

The clergyman took tlie only course open to him. He scraped up £22 10s, paid up cheerfully, and told the joke against himself. Apparently some of his friends thought that the story was worth the money, and within twenty-four hours quietly subscribed the amount amongst themselves and sent him a cheque.