HUMOR OF TROOPS.

Taranaki Daily News, 19 January 1916, Page 8

HUMOR OF TROOPS.

PAPERS PUBLISHED AT SEA. TWO IXTEKES'J'JXIi JOURNALS. Tin' mail which reached New Plymoiuli yesterday afternoon brought copies ol two ])i»iily interesting; publications pot out by members of the New Zealand JCxjjprtit-iomir.v Force on active service. One paper Was the unofficial orpan of tiie Seventh Reinforcement.?, entitled "Dry Rations,'' or the '-'Apariina Apparition,'' with which is incorporated the '•W'likanae Wash-Out," and the '•Taulicrenikrtii Trumpeter," while the other journal bore the more modest title of ''The Albatross,'' and was arranged by members of the Eighth Reinforcements. The cover of "Dry Rations" is well got up and bears the warning that the paper was printed "entirely without authority outside a licensed house," and the centre of the page is devoted to the following lines: "Eecruit you was when it began But now all (hat is o'er, You shall be called The Service Man 'Ence forward, evermore. Batt'ry, brigade, plank, centre, van, Defaulter, Army Corps— From first to last The Service Man 'Enco forward, evermore. From AVaikanac to 'lndustan, Greytowu to Lemnos Shore—'Orse, fcot, air guns, The Service Man, 'Ence forward, evermore.

Wc then come to the War News, where we learn: '-The Russians under Private S—lly continue to retreat in accordance with the character of the country. The evacuation of Moscow is not yet under consideration, hut the Ural mountains are being fortified, and much cool courage is being displayed in Siberia." And, again: -'The Austrian Emperor has died for a second time, but we , ourselves continue to believe this report exaggerated." : Some of the "News in Brief," makes interesting reading: Overheard at the pmteen Well-known lance-corporal: "Tooth brush, please." Canteen attend* ant: "Hard or soft?" "Don't mind, it's not for use, only for kit inspection." Dingle's Store—Any article you can want, from a toothpick to an elephant, kept in store. Ask and you will not get it. Loot and the world loots with vou.

The correspondence colum has the following: "Commonsense.—As there are many words mis-spelt and the writing is illegible, we presume you are an officer; if so, you should know, and if you are not, any officer will refer you to King's Regulations, Section IG2B, which reads: "a daily ration of one pint of ale may be issued on transports." You also seem to be under the impression that a dormitory sergeant is one that goes to sleep at his post on duty. While it may be news to you that the officer's duty is to say "all's well" at 4 a.m., when the whole crowd are seasick. There is a wealth of other entertaining paragraphs in the paper, which also contains a complete list of.the officers and men on the Aparima. In presenting "The Albatross," the editors apologise that "it is only a moderate little paper, but many a good thing is contained hi a smnll parcel." A perusal of the journal illustrates the truth of this. In the "Answers to Correspondents," appear the following:— M. 0. Grainger.—We do not think it necessary to institute a Mont de Pic.fe shop on board. Anyhow, who would lend on cigarette security? Private Ramos.—Wo do not think there will be much chance,of your meeting an Egyptian princess during our stay in Cairo. Why not try an Egyptian cigarette instead; it would be milch safer. Paragraphs are numerous and wellwritten; here is one: "One engineer, at present assistant in the wireless house, is charged with the serious offence of dhulging ship's secrets received by the machine. He gave out the latest war news in the mess recently without thinking of the seriousness of what he was doing, telling "that the wireless communication between France and England had been cut." In forwarding us our copy of "The AllmlroHs," Private J. S. O'Neill, of Uremii, writes:—

'• ''N.Z.T. No. 30 (Tofua j. at sea, 1000 miles off Aden. Dee. 11, 1015. Enclosed please find si copy of our i .ipi'r, which I am fending as it may probably prove of interest. From the Bluff to Ilobart we experienced severe weather, and put into the latter port for minor repairs to the baker's galley. We bad six hours' leave at Ilobart, and (lie local people expressed their admiration at the fine stamp of the New Zealand boys, we being taller and bigger in build than the 'Tassy" boys. We have had splendid weather from Albany, and it is much appreciated after the first week's experience. We hold sports and boxing on Wednesday and Saturday afternoon, which are • enjoyed by all; also a concert on deck every night. The band enlivens things up from 5 to 7.30 each night. Tile health of the boys is A!., there being no sickness whatever, beyond a few sore arms from vaccination. The following Taranaki boys I know are doing well: lan Potts and Fred Early (New Plymouth), Cliff Tate (Waitarni, Geo. Fuller and Sid M,oochy (Urenui)."