CAMP HUMOR.

Taranaki Daily News, 9 December 1915, Page 5

CAMP HUMOR.

GUNS WITH FODiR SIGHTS. THE SERGEANT OF THE GUARD (From the Dominion). Id one of the military camps an officer rode up to headquarters and tied his horse outside. Presently he heard a olatter and stamping of hoofs, and rushed out to find his steed had broken a rein and gone. He hurried along to find and secure it, and met a soldier giving Interestedly into the distance. "Did you see the way my horse went?" the officer asked. "Did I notl" the man replied. "I never saw anything finer. Took two fences, and—look! There he goes over the third, and still going strong. Th»t's what lenll a horse -" ■Suddenly remembering himself he sainted and said to the amazed officer: 'Uieg pardon, sir. Forgo; myself; a bit of a rider myself. Shall Igo after him?" He did so, and moreover, so 'tis said, rode the jumper back, over the fences. THE FORESIGHTS. Much has been written about the praetice. obtaining in some armies, of sighting (ho rifles to throw the bullets low, in order to counteract the tendency of excited men to fire high. But it is doubtful whether any rifles, thus aelloerateiy made untrue, could equal the perform* ance of a rifle served out to a wellknown New Zealand rifle shot in camp recently. The officer in charge of the squad of men was also a good rifle shot. The recruits were firing at a 2o yards' range, and doing badly; but the worst of all was the crack shot. It is the rul» that all who do badly must remain and' lire again with (lie next squad. Thi» the rifleman had done, and still he could not find the target. At Inst he said' to the officer: '•I don't know, sir, but there must bo something wrong with this rifle; I ought, to do better than that." , "Let me have it," the officer Raid. He fired and missed; raited the sight and fired again; at last, with the sight at 300 yards he got an "outer." "It's the rifle's fault," he said. 'Til have it adjusted." Other men then declared that tbey were not such poor shots as the rifles made them appear. The officer tcstej their rifles, too. "Yes," he agreed, "there must he something wrong; probably it's the foresights.'' It was then that a raw shot who had missed consistently said: "Four sights. Why bless me, my gun's only got two. and I can't hit j> either." * "SERGEANT OF THE GUARD!'It was a windy day. The sergeant of the guard at the camp gates was leaning acro?s the wive fence, close to the guard tent, talking to n pretty girl. The conversation was absorbing. ' A fatiguo party was picking up planks a few yards away. Each soldier looked enviously as the burly sergeant and his companion; they talked away themselves about .him, but lie heard nothing. Presently ha was wanted at the guard tent. A cor-, poval called: "Sergeant of the Guard!' But it was very windy. The scrgeanj. watched the girl's face and she bridled and laughed at what he was saying. ■"Sergeant of the guard!" Still the wind blew the voice in the. other direction. One of the fatigue party paused, with his plank poised -halfway between the pile of timber and Ms shoulder. It was about time the sergeant heard the rail, but it was not his place to call him. Still, something would have to be done to break up the tete-a-tete. So he held the plunk high and let it fall with a crash on the pile. The tpirl jumped angrily, only to. catch the excited gestures of bis corporal.

"Excuse me," he said hurriedly, and went., to the tent. It was tile plankdropper'j chance. "Fine day, miss!" "Yes, it is," the girl replied, in soma canfusion. "But very windy," he added. "Yes," she agreed, as the man and the plank made oft' in an elated manner. NOT PERMITTED.

The sight of the battalion quarterguard fascinated the young recruit. Tie watched the two sentries stiff as tnachincry, march to the ends of their beats, halt, and turn, march back till they met, halt face to face, and then turn and pace away. "T says," said the young recruit to another of'the fatigue party, lie belonged to, "are those blokes allowed to speak to one another when thev stop like that?" The old hand regarded him keenly to see whether he was springing a joke on him. Seeing that the boy vrn« in earnest and innocent, lie replied: •'No, son. They daren't even cough, in one another's faces."