HUMORS OF THE WAR.

Taranaki Daily News, Volume LVII, Issue 228, 5 March 1915, Page 5

HUMORS OF THE WAR.

The humorist is irrepressible, and no subject, however serious, is free from hig sallies, some good, some , bulj . always apropos. War and death are , grim subects to joke about, but the® have not been left alone, and o£ the present 'Armageddon the comic papers of two worlds have plenty to air their wit 011. A few examples follow: -j

AIDS TO PRONUNCIATION. «> ) /, For the information of war inclined ' readers, we print the following table of pronunciation, hoping it will proveas helpful and illuminating as the'av- •• eiage table of itg kind in the American <f daily press:—. Xyrousspucbiurj, pronounced Yuhe-' hkdhsg-ing-hgx-j. Hbcdhkfgeu, pronounced Lawynf-ghfc-' ing-yyx. Zygfr, pronouncod Gsfx-fy. Vitckafdhhkzzyprl, pronounced Vodka. " - ; Grhamamlatveitch, pronounced Dsan-' meo-go-bombski. - . Boobmf, pronouncer Boobmf.—Puck.

PRAYING FOR THE KAISER.

From this onward (says a London cor-. <" respondent) the ICaiser will npt * any adulatorv death orations in the- * British press. Even the smallest of small children execrate his name. They have listened to their seniors, and they have quietly numbered him amongst ■" those who are past praying lor. One little girl, filled with this idea, feceived '< a very hard blow last week when her mother required her.to petition Heaven' '■>■ on behalf of the War Lord. After much ■ pouting expostulation, the little kiddie ; submissively added to her nightly prayers:—%nd Lord, please, fill the Kai-' s. 1 ser with Thy Holy Spirit," The mother f bent forward to kis:> t)io ohild in token of her appreciation, l and 'the little mai- t den softly added, "And then dead him."

AMERICAN APHORISMS.

Think of the joy of the chaffeurg of the war automobiles with no speed limitsto hamper them.—Atlanta Journal.

It is a. long, loqg, way from Warsaw to Posen when you keep travelling back and forth on the road.—Pittsburg Dis- ' patch. : ( V t Perhaps it will now be recognised that'' ]oy-ri3ing in even the best of war ma- > chines is a dangerous business.—New Yord World.

The news that Przemysl lias been again surrounded has evoked a chorus of groans from composing-room and proof-room.—Sioux City Journal. ■ That necessity is the' mother of invention it attested by the appearance of a mechanical grave-diggy as a re.suit of the European' war.—St. Eouia Globe Democrat,

Anyway, at the rate things are going in Europe, the United States won't have to increase its army much-to equal thoße of the foreign powers.—Philadelphia; North American.