THE UNFORTUNATE POLICE.

Taranaki Daily News, Volume LV, Issue 250, 12 March 1913, Page 4

THE UNFORTUNATE POLICE.

The new police regulations are a fearfid and wonderful compilation, and are clahoratc enough and comprehensive enough to scare even a Philadelphia lawyer from aspiring to the beat. There is a comprehensive code of aSli clauses, duly digued and sealed, which every policeman is expected to know backwards, forwards and sideways, and in future he must eat, sleep, move and have his being strictly by regulation. Hi* amusements are lixed by regulation; his particular "lotion" 'is marked for him in the margin: his selection of a wife has to be approved by the Commissioner, and the exact number of grey hairs he must accumulate before qualifying for supcramanKition is laid down by the paternal .Minister for Justice. If the regulations are really enforced we shall soon have nothing but M.A.'s and professors of language to guard the streets. Not that our present, police have not at times a gift of language that is useful in dealing with the larrikin and the casual .drunk. In future when a constable has to arrest the gentleman who has had a ''spot" or two too many he will have to raise his hat politely and say. "Pardon me. Monsieur, but being under the impression that you have been lubrivating your tonsils, shall we say just un morceau too freely, it is my very painful duty to invite yon to step into my forty-horse power Darracq without any further refreshment and accompany me to the palatial precincts of his Majesty's hospitable hostelry." Rrielly put. these hundreds of :regulations provide for promotion by examination only, and Greek and divinity count for more than physique and tact. After having graduated in this manner, the constable, before he can

'; become a sergeant, must pass an exam i illation in (1) English, {•!) geography I (•;)) arithmetic, (4) general police am ; detective duties, (o) Police Force Ael ] a-nil regulations and general order? : thereunder, ((!) Law of Evidence, am '■ (7) certain statutes of huge d'vmeiisions siiil'lie must average half-marks in nil tile subjects and not get fewer than onethird marks in any subject. If he fails three times, no matter how eflicieut, successful or experienced he afterwards may become, he will not be allowed to sit for examination again. The door of promotion will rtlmt on him for good, and he must remain a constable for the rest of 'his life or seek employment in some other channel. The sergeant who aspires to higher honors than those that already fall to his lank must pass a similar examination to the one provided for constables, but in greater detail am! with higher marks. I'k> must be able to reproduce a narrative -or description that has been road to him, to write an essay and a precis and to unravel the intricacies of commercial correspondence. That completes his English. So far as ■mathematics are concerned Ste must know the fundamental rules, vulgar and decimal fractions, proportion, simple and compound interest and problems in weights and measures, time and distance, and many other things, lie must be conversant with the mysteries of bookkeeping and must handle the metric system with ease and accuracy. Then in geography he must be able to draw maps and plans?, including a map of New Zen.-

hind with mountain range.-;, rivers, lakes, steamer routes, railway lines and important towns, and he must be able to enumerate the leading products and industries of different districts. He must have a similar knowledge of Australia, Great Britain and the rest of the British Umpire. Then the regulation; : gleefully plunge into a demand for a i knowledge of intricate legal matters ; that would stagger a judge, and we I doubt, as a matter of fact, whether a | good many of the solicitors at present practising in the Dominion could qualify under the existing regulations for places on the beat. We admit, of course, that it requires a certain amount of intelligence to become a. policeman, hut the average constable surely does not require the educational equipment of a Supreme Court judge or a schoolmaster. Given a Sixth Standard education we should have imagined that ability, willingness, tact and perfection of physique would have counted for more in promotion than a knowledge of the binomial theorem or the. intricacies of the thyroid gland. Still, we suppos a paternal Government knows best, and we must look forward to the time when our streets are patrolled by a few spectacled university professors and a meditative journalist or two.