WHY GIRLS DON'T MARRY

Taranaki Daily News, Volume LV, Issue 247, 8 March 1913, Page 9

WHY GIRLS DON'T MARRY

When I. asked l'riscilla why girls don't marry, her answer canie pat, "Keeause the men don't ask them.'' she. .said. J.'riscilhi is ;i parlormaid (writes Mrs. Alfred Side-wick in a Home, paper), and you would say, if you knew her, that any sensible man might nil) ;m<i gather her to liis heart, for she is pretty, eventempered, iiiul as amusing as Sam Weller. She has an excellent head on her shoulders-. When "things" are cussed she .smiles and helps you through with thorn. She has the eye of an artist for color ami for arranging flowers. Quite, between ourselves, we, call her the angel, and we cannot understand why she is not presiding at some good man's table instead of cleaning silver for ours. But when you talk to l'riscilla you find that a vein of sadness runs through her humorous vein of life, arid that the poverty of her class weighs on her mind and darkens her outlook. She is 25 now, and for 10 years she has served in gentlemen's houses, seeing and sharing in a life the men she might marry could not give her, while those who could give it are out of reach. She is afraid of marriage in her own class, and her father, she says, has bred and fostered this fear in his daughters. He advises them to remain single because they are better off as they are. and financially this is true. A skilled parlormaid easily gets from £25 to £3O a year, with tips thrown in, and all the expenses of life except clothes are borne for her by her employers. When she marries she may have to maintain a home and rear a family on £1 a week, while in all probability her mate will he rougher and more ignorant than she is herself. THE FEAR OF MARRIAGE.

All my life. I have taken a keen interest in the views and destinies of the young women serving in our households, and of late years I have, been amazed by the general fear amongst them of marriage and of child-bearing. They like the fun of a Sunday flirtation, and of "walk-out," hut they don't want children. At least they think so, and say so. When children come I observe that nature is too strong for them. "His name is Albert; he has the most beautiful black eyes, and he is all the world to me," wrote one the other day who I thought would never settle down to sobriety and marriage. Donna Juana we call her, quite between ourselves, for I received her confidences, and knew that her beautiful black eyes broke hearts. Yet Priseilla says that if women don't marry because men don't ask them, and every woman knows that, in spite of fears, and in spite of poor prospects, this is true. Man-haters exist, no doubt, some celibates by nature, some embittered by thdse la us, social and political, that bear hardly on women. 'But wo-, sien who refuse marriage on these grounds are few and far between. Probably their numbers are exceeded by those whom some sorrow or fastidiousness of choice leaves lonely. Most women would dearly love to have their own home, their own man, and their own children. An American preacher with a Herman name roused great indignation a little while ago that old maids were useless members of the community, and should be deported to a desert island. I forget his exact words, but that was In.?, gist. T think bis sermon was just one "of those outbreaks the members of either sex permit themselves when they have neither manners nor sagacity. You may find the complement of the American preacher with the German name any day if you listen to feminine tub-thump-ers raving against men. As a matter of fact, "old maids"' in the old style hardIv exist in England and America to-day except in backwaters. They have been replaced by an army of plucky, sensible women doing their share of the world's work, and enjoying what they can get of its cakes and ale. Tf a man and children fail them, there is a gay, no doubt, but it is a gap many of them bridge with courage, i

-WOMEN WISH TO .MARKY.' At any rate, T agree, with Priscilla, On the whole, women wisi to marry, and if they don't it is because the men don't ask tiiem. Men are afraid of the expenses of a household, and yon cannot wonder at it when you consider what even a small, well-managed one entails. Take an ordinary middle-class family, with a wife, three children and three servants. The man of that family is supporting eight people, not to speak of the gardener and the dog. Put even it we taxed bachelors into matrimony, some women would still die unwed, since move v.omen than men reach maturity. So the American preacher with the (Jerinan name (ami bis like) should know belter than to jeer at. innocent victims ot human ignorance. When science can determine sex. many more men will be born than women, and then there wilHie no -old maids." e N cept from choice. The people T wish to build a gallows for are .the lathers who know they can leave their "iris no money, anil yet do not have them (rained (o earn a living. Tf j t.hev happen to marry, well and good: but if thev fail, they recruit the ranks of the incompetent, starve, pine and si.ru<«>-Ic. most helpless, most unhappy. In France the system of giving every girl, a dowrv and arranging a marriage tor ! her reduces the number of poor spinsters, and is more humane and intelligent than our want of system. Vet 1 hope our bovs and -.'iris will conlinue to marry for love, and not by arrangement, and (hat it will become a matter of course to -ivc a "irl a trade in case she should ned ii either for part of her life or to the end. In England at. present money does not plav a paramount part in most matches, and that is wholly desirable a„d to be praised. P.oth in France and Hermanv .-iris suiter untold mortilieations from finding that (hey themselves count for less (ban the dowry, ««<!*'«* the marriage may be broken oil if the financial negotiations go wrong. In En-viand a "irl without a penny will have •'it "offers while her neighbor the heiress has none. T have heard of a girl with lifteen thousand a vcar who wished to uiarrv. and never bad a chance she was iiot. deformed, but she was shy and rather -auche. Rich men were not attracted, and the poor ones she knew were not the kind to hang their bats in a. wife's hall. Tam sorry for the girl, but T am glad that such a. thing can happen in this country.