MATILDA'S MORALISINGS.

Taranaki Daily News, Volume LIII, Issue 265, 18 March 1911, Page 9

MATILDA'S MORALISINGS.

When we make somcthink out of a man, we rail it smart; when 'c does it to us, we fall it cheating. England is the 'ome of the free, which means you ave to pay for every think. Makin' money ain't near so 'ard as keepin' it. Divorce is an expensive way of rcpentin'. Faith is lielievin' somethink you know ain't true.

Really good liars are scarce. We all know 'off to lie, and most of us does it, but we do it very badly as a rule. A coward is a man what ain't afraid to sav Vs afraid.

A sermon is half an hour's good advice for which you pay one penny, and then leave the goods on the counter.

A Bohemian is a man what's never more than 'alf shaved or 'alf drunk.

A receipted rent-book is a better 'allmark of respectability than a crease down the front of your trousers. Classical music is like a cold bath, it's the correct thing to say you like it.

If only those what worked was to be allowed to cat, lots of us would be overfed.

Society is composed of people who look better than thev are; the rest of us an better than we look.

The more money you've got, the longer are the names of the diseases you suffer from.

The people who are always tellin's us that honesty is the best policy 'ave all got safety tills in their shops. The wise man lets his wife 'ave her own way. It saves trouble, and she'll get it, anyway.

And the wise woman knows that and acts accordin'.