METHODISM

Taranaki Daily News, Volume LIII, Issue 265, 18 March 1911, Page 6

METHODISM

SQUIBS FROM THE LATE CONFERENCE. A Methodist Conference is one of the mo.ii, good-humoured assemblies on the face of the earth. Good fellowship is to be guuyed by the amount of " chaff" which is blown from man to man. Many a difficult problem and many a thorny question has the tension relieved by a hearty laugh at the "bull" or unconscious humor of a brother. One of the prayers, of th e Conference day by dayshould be, "Lord, give us this day a* sense of humour !" A brother, whose dimensions are of the most generous order, applied for permission to visit the South Seas. The Conference viewed for a moment the portly form, drew its breath, and gaspingly exclaimed, "Don't let him go to the Cannibal Islands !"

A returned Missionary was being received by the Conference, and it was necessary to obtain a transfer for New South Wales. The cable came, and one solemn brother rose to a point of order, and asked, "If Bro. had been in New South Wales instead of in New Zealand at this time, could he have sat in both Conferences?" The president thought ,it improbable—in fact, impossible. A prominent lawyer was pleading for a change in the order of business, and being somewhat short of arguments he fell back on assertions—which is a very old trick both of lawyers and preachers. ''l know this is the case in several other conferences conferences larger than ours." "Name them! Name them!" He spluttered on for a few moments, and then finally ended up with a goodnatured "[ can't." He lost his motion.

An enthusiastic brother from ,the north was sorry to sic so many names of the older men on the various committees, and so few of the younger ministers. "I am sick and tired to death, sir, of hearing Fairelougli, Garland, Band and . ." His breath then gave out, and the Conference came to his rescue with a hearty laugh.

Farewell was being said to a minister returning to Australia, who made a poetical speech in reply. He dwelt upon his ready acquiescence with the will of the Conference. "I have been very submissive, sir—ever since I was married!" "I never sought Connexional offices," he said. "I left them those who were qualified for them—or who thought they were qualified." The "platform" looked considerably guilty, and manifestly uncomfortable.

The question of the attitude of the Church towards rallies at Church bazaars came before the Conference. One calm, judicial member thought that there was nothing in our laws to prevent a raffle, and, in fact, did not see what right we had to interfere. A brother less calm and judicial got up and said, "Mr. President, Bro. is an antediluvian." One of the most significant notes of the Conference was the cry for a better educated ministry. One representative favored this but reminded them that two-thirds of the services of the Church were taken by local preachers, many of them not highly educated. ''lf we educate our ministers too much, then the local preachers " Laughter drowned the closing words of the sentence. Even the prosaic station sheet was not without its lighter side. ■ Mr. Sleep was again sent to dream in Nightcaps, Unfairness was shown in sending Mr. Aker to a circuit which has already a large glebe to its parsonage, Mr. Aker is manned and has a child, so it was contended that two and a-half Akers (acres) were added to the property of the circuit. Round three or four names in the Stationing Committee the tempest raged, and, at times, it was difficult to catch 'the deeper voice across the storm." The ultimate was that Laws got the Belt (may there be no buckle-end!); St. Albans' already beautiful church received the addition of a Bell-house; Chapman, as befitted' his name, was sent to the commercial city of Wellington; and Burton, who prides himself on broad-minded-ness, was turned into a New-Plymouth-Brother! So even the station sheet passed with a smile on its face.