CURRENT TOPICS

Taranaki Daily News, Volume LIII, Issue 235, 9 February 1911, Page 4

CURRENT TOPICS

DOWN WITH LEMONADE! The studious habits of the police frequentlv lead them to the discovery of hitherto unearthed laws. That some buried but not dead laws are better left in their tombs is shown very fremiently. Police encrev moves in cycles. In the cities the police very frequently break out into a perspiration of virtue, and for a. week or two confine their attentions to one solitary branch of detection. Thus an inspiration will cause a scries of raids on Chinese dens. This

encrgctia work may continue for a whole fortnight, and the Chinese wait patiently until the spasm has passed, and then quietly return to their fan-tan, their pak-a-poo, and their opium. Then the police will get an attack of anti-gamb-ling, and half-a-dozen "schools" will be raided, with splendid dramatic results. The gamblers note the waning of the attack—and find a new place where they may rest secure until the epidemic again appears. The natural desire of all men to effect dramatic coups leads one quite renowned police sergeant to effect all his sly-grog raids on Sundays. There are, in fact, police fashions in these matters. A lot of small traders will be feeling uncomfortable about now at the latest police spasm. The police have discovered section 17 of the Police Offences Act, which makes it illegal to possess even a non-alcoholic thirst on Sundays. One presumes that the police discovered the admirable clause after a deputation waited on a Commonwealth Minister in order to get the Government to prohibit the sale of "soft" drinks on Sundays. The Minister remarked that he could not blame people for becoming innocently thirsty on the Sabbath. One hundred and twenty-four small traders in Auckland are apparently to be proceeded against for catering to the Sabbath thirst for soft drinks, and probationers are wearing out much boot leather chasing the wily widow who earns three-and-six on Sunday by unloosing the pernicious ginger-pop, the deadly lemonade, and that destroying angel, soda water. The Premier is rather afraid that softdrink selling on Sundays is not a heinous crime, but he should be told at once that the morals of the people are in the balance, and that if the evil influence exercised by raspberry vinegar is not undermined by the police the nation will utterly perish. We commend the study of little-known law to all police probationers. There is no doubt that it would supply further glorious avenues for the harassment of the people. The authorities who intend to anninilate the Sunday pop trade should have their names added to the monument erected to the police heroes of Houndsditch.

A WORLD-SHAKING DECISION. "There's nothing in the rag!" said the disgusted citizen as he threw down the daily paper, after looking at the sporting news. "No?" queried .the other. "What about the plague in the East, the Mexican revolt, the Laborite split, the relationship of England and Germany, the Chaffinch frauds, and—-" "Oh, rats!" interrupted the disgusted one. "Then there's a par. about Tommy Burns " "Where? Gimme the paper," and the disgusted citizen pored over the news that "Tommy," dear, fat, duckfooted "Tahmy," Tommy with the punch, Tommy with the accent, Tommy, the people's idol, would stop punching. The news struck the citizen like an upper cut. He talked about the decision as if it were .the Declaration of London, the breach of the Anglo-Jap Alliance, the South African menace, or the declaration of war between Britain and Germany. He gravely questioned whether Dick Arnst would rush to the fray with Langford, now that the Tommy has a bad knee, and showed conclusively that the fate of nations depended on somebody's ability to keep standing long enough to win a purse of sovereigns. He evaded an answer to a question about land settlement, by anxiously enquiring whether the "bookie" would take his case to the Privy Council, and on the subject of compulsory service in Britain he was well informed enough to mention that Miro might win the hack handicap at Wairiki. The conclusion come to was that thirty-two columns of reading matter, epitomising the doings of tlie world, were redeemed from absolute uselessness by the three-and-a-half lines telling the world that Tommy would fight no more. The great decision will form a splendid topic of discussion for thousands of intellectual citizens, who know very well that the world couldn't possibly revolve without a boxing glove for a pedestal. One is reminded of a story. When Herbert Spencer died the news came through in three words—"Obituary: Herbert Spencer." The average citizen scanned the newspaper. "Herbert Spencer?" he querie'd. "I never heard of a jockey of that name!"

AUSTRALIA'S RESPONSIBILITY. The large deputation which waited on! the Prime Minister of the Commonwealth in Sydney recently to urge the claims of the aborigines to the protecting care of the State made a clear and eloquent appeal for the favor of the Government. The deputation comprised clergymen, scientists, business men and politicians, who had-been appointed by a conference of public men held a few days earlier. The members urged that tlie Federal Government should take measures at once to secure wise and humane treatment of the 20,000 aborigines inhabiting the Northern Territory, and with this end in view should appoint a commission to draw up a comprehensive scheme for dealing with all the native obligations of the Commonwealth. They suggested that much good would be done by the establishment of a separate department and the appointment of a Minister lo administer native affairs, and they specially urged that before any existing Crown lands in the Northern Territory were leased or alienated numerous reserves should be mapped out and sufficient money provided to stock them or develop them in other ways. Archdeacon Lefroy, who was the originator of the movement, expressed the belief that the Commonwealth could deal with the 75,000 ■blacks of Australia on rational and humane lines. Mr. G. B. Edwards, M.P., suggested that the young blacks should be educated and sent out to cattle runs and farms so that they might be employed ultimately to test the Northern Territory as a field for tropical agriculture. Mr. Fisher's reception of the deputation was entirely sympathetic. He assured them that it was the intention of the Ministry to give ample protection to the blacks of the ivorthern Territory, and he was himself strongly in favor of establishing land .sanctuaries with a view to enabling the natives to develop their capabilities under skilled supervision. He confessed that he rather dreaded commissions, and even departments, because their methods were those of delay. The Minister of internal' Affairs, he said, would deal with the matter at once.