CURRENT TOPICS

Taranaki Daily News, Volume LIII, Issue 299, 21 January 1911, Page 4

CURRENT TOPICS

INGENIOUS FICTIONS. One of the penalties of greatness is that the eminent person is repeatedly made the subject of ''good stories." Several British society journals -write' Columns of pathetic inconsequent paragraphs about the Duchess and her dogs, or the Earl and the port-r. the King and the policeman, and so on. All these fictions invariably wind up by the eminent one disclosing his identity to the terrified and humble person who has "put his foot in it." The recently-told story about the Premier, the teacup and the girl was a particularly good one, but the item that placed the* mark of fiction on it at once wa.s the Premier's alleged retort. ''But you surely will allow Sir Joseph Ward," etc. If an English society journal had invented the Kaitoke fiction, it would have wound it up by picturing an abashed damsel curtseying herself to death in dreadful and humble apology. Once upon a time Lord Plunket had to cast the light of his presence over an agricultural show. He walked to the entrance gate and was about to push through, when the fierce gatekeeper said, "No you don't!'' The poor Governor remarked that lie would have to get in, because ho was wanted inside, but the determined official. in the absence of a ticket, was adamant. The fictionist who created this good story made Lord Plunket. at last haughtily mention that lie was "William Lee.' Baron, etc., Governor and | Commander-in-C'hief," etc. It was a very good lie spoilt by the presumption that a modest man was bumptious. Also onee upon a time the Chief Justice of New Zealand was riding on the back of a street car because it was "full up inside." His Honor sat next to a sturdy I man in working clothes. On the other: side was an immaculately-dressed commercial traveller. When the guard collected fares, the immaculate one found 110 money in his clothes. His excuses were honest and lie promised to send his fare to the corporation office, to which the guard at once agreed. The working man turned to the Chief Justice with the remark, "If the likes of you or me was to come a dodge like that, matey, we'd be

bided off the car." The untruthful narrator, who had a good story up to that point, stamped fiction on it by making Sir Robert reply, "Sir, I am the Chief Justice of New Zealand." The abashed working man, of course, apologised profusely in the story. Then there is the' story of the King being bailed up by a police motor-trap, and the dramatic ending when the King, unwilling to mention bis pre-eminence, drew a sovereign from his pocket and pleasantly remarked to the sergeant that the portrait on the coin was rather a good one of himself. Naturally the devoted society writer finished his story with a hatch of prostrated policemen who eventually tore the barbed wire down to let the Royal law-breaker through. Then there is the "true" and particular account of the poor, shabby old man who shuffled into a church pew and prayed. The plate-bearer came along, and the poor old chap dropped a fifty-pound note into the plate. The perturbed plate-bearer knew instinctively that he had before him a thief of the deepest dye. Shabby clothes, old age, and banknotes! He went for the police. When the village constable arrived, the aged worshipper rose with dignity ami demanded to know why he, the Duke of Norfolk, should be arrested. It is a good story, except for the finale. The Duke would probably have whispered softly in the ear of the plate-bearer, and would have told that story ever afterwards as a delightful interlude in a more or less formal and unenjoyable existence. As a matter of real fact celebrities do not rush round the country roaring out their titles, and they would be frightful bores it tliey did. ' A ROYAL GOVERNOR. We have heard a''good deal lately about the unpopularity of English people in Canada, disloyalty to the Empire, and all ttte rest of it, and it is difficult to reconcile these allegations with the fact that the Duke of Connaught, brother of the late King, will in September become Governor-General of the Dominion. The announcement that a Prince of the blood royal would for the first time in history become the representative of monarehy in an oversea dominion is one of the most significant indications of the growing unity of Empire. It is impossible to believe that Canada is either disloyal or anti-British, and the very remarkable fact that the whole of the Canadian House of Commons purposes attending the King's Coronation is another striking evidence of Canada's attachment to Imperial i4ea.ls. When allegations are made agailfct Canadians and their loyalty, they are rarely made against French Canadians, so that the anti-Imperial element may naturally be supposed to be all Brh-.i. More than a third of the total population of Canada has been imported. There are about one and a-half millions of French Canadians, so that a large proportion of these alleged antiilmperialists must necessarily be imported from the Old-Country. In some Canadian quarters the appointment of the Duke of Connaught as Governor-Gen-eral is looked upon as a diplomatic move by way of pneifying the discontented anti-Imperialists. All the same, the most careful research fails to reveal any widespread antagonism to the Empire, .any antipathy to good Britishers, or any desire among the mass of French-speak-ing Canadians to cut adrift. All the allegations do not deter hordes of British people from entering Canada to become Canadians, and the movement of thousands of citizens of the United States into Canadian territory is no evidence of the unpopularity of British rule. If Canada were tired of the shackles of monarchy, as is so often alleged, there would at the present time be a protest in the great Dominion at the idea of the whole of its House of Commons going to Britain for the Coronation. In the meantime Canada is hugging itself with delight both at this prospect and the fact that the late King's brother is to be the figurehead of the country. THE TERRITORIALS. That Lord Kitchener's plans for the making of an army in New Zealand i would be modified to meet conditions he was apparently unaware of, was expected. That lie would not recognise the real scheme as related to his own is certain. In his optimism Major-General Godley believes that the authorities will be able to induce so many young men to join the Territorial forces that there will be little need for compulsory enlistment or the creation of the general training compulsory section. The Commandant has pointed out, too, that the enlisted Territorial will be compulsorily trained, which is eminently satisfactory (if he is enlisted), but the fact remains that lie cannot be forced to become a Territorial soldier. Young men will immediately see the advantage of training in the Territorial force instead of compulsory service in the training section. In comparison with service in the Territorials, that in the training section must be supremely unattractive. The hoys in the training section will be a kind of conscript as yet unknown in any existing army. As a punishment for refusing to voluntarily enlist, they will be compulsorily enlisted to undergo a course of soldiering in civilian clothes. No real "esprit de, corps" can exist under such conditions. Public admiration, so dear to every soldier and such a spur to his smartness and efficiency, will be no part of his payment for his service. In fact, the compulsory training section gives the Defence Department a weapon it does not wish to use. If the ability to enforce service leads young men to join the Territorials, the value of the training section will be at once apparent. If there is a very large training section it will show that our youths have no stomach for soldiering and will be made to grow one. We are glad that the Commandant has ellcctually hit a fetish common among volunteers—that nothing matters as long as the individual soldier can shoot, straight. Ilear him on the subject:—"lt. is this question of organisation which makes without forming them into proper lightthe theory of training men to shoot ing units-an impossible idea from a military point of view. A complex business cannot be run by teaching the men in it only one branch of their duties, even if it is an important one, and you can't hope to run the complex business of training an army in any such way. 1 don't like to speak too bluntlv on the point, but il assure you that the notion is quite impossible." 11l fact, .Major-Gen-eral Godley mij/ht have added that it is not proposed that a great organisation shall be created iri order that a minority of soldiers shall use it for hobby shooting, sport, personal pastime, or any such thing. The army is being created for defence and offence, not amusement.