FOND OF HIS BED

Taranaki Daily News, Volume LIII, Issue 41, 28 May 1910, Page 10

FOND OF HIS BED

London, April S. London possess, among a few other treasures, the laziest man on earth. This is Archibald Depau, who since 1004 has, it is solemnly avowed, spent nine-teen-twentieths of his life in bed, lyiin on sofas, or sleeping in chairs. The other day Archibald was compelled by cruel law to drag himself out of bed and attend the police court to show cause why his wife should not get a separation order. He sat with a dreamy, far-away look on his face while 1 counsel who appeared for Mrs. Depau endeavored to sketch his character and habits. "Since 1004 he has beeirafflicted with chronic laziness," said counsel. "He lies in bed for six weeks at a time. Once his wife .pulled him out and put him out in the back yard, but he crawled through a window and sot into bed again. He is, in fact, afflicted with a weariness that would enable him to snore on a flint." Situations have been offered to Archibald, but he always has some excuse for not taking them. One excuse was that he wanted a new set of teeth and hi= hair dved. He is too lazy even to wash himself. '< An inspector of the N.S.P.C. told how he had 'pleaded with Depau for a year, but to no purpose. "I have found him in bed at all hours."-' he said; "even at 4 o'clock in the afternoon. He complained of insomnia, and I pointed out to him that he could not expect to sleep both day and niarht." At this point Depau made a effort. "T have tried to woi-lk," he murmured wearily, "but my hands become blistered." Mrs. Depau explained that she had even lifted the bed and Iter husband in her unsuccessful efforts to dislodge him. He was sent, to prison in September last, and as soon as he came back hj" went straight to bed. "Throe gentlemen called and offerca him a situation, and I and my son tried to push him out of bed in order that he so to it. We managed to set him out of the house, but when he returned in the evening he admitted that he had not gone to the situation.'' Poor Archie was too tired to ask his wife any ouestions, and she. got her separation order. TJipi-p is a faint hope for Depau. be it said. He has been in a Salvation Army shelter for a couple of davs. and it is recorded in his favor that he has actual!v scrubbed the floor of a cubicle. ArehibnM. l>v the way. stands in some danger of losing his championships. He has a serious rival in the husband of a lady .who appeared at Old Street Police Court yesterday. She declared that her -husband spent the greater part of his timo in bed.

"He wa« once a motor-'bus driver." she said, "but be nulled his omnibus up by the roadside, turned all the passen-"e-rq off and went to sleen in the omnibus. Then they dismissed him."