THE WORLD'S BEST STORIES.

Taranaki Daily News, Volume LII, Issue 250, 27 November 1909, Page 3

THE WORLD'S BEST STORIES.

WOKTH. THE MONEY;. Mr. Pierpont Morgan has his cross moments, and is very difficult to deal with at such times. One man, however, got tiie belter of him when he was in a decidedly bad leuij,i'r. This individual had failed dishonorably, and, although he owed the mii-i liouaire 40,000 dollars, he persisted in l bowing to him pleasantly in the street as if noLhing had happened. One day Mr. Morgan stopped him, and in a voice of suppressed passion remind-' cd him of the debt, adding, "I'll forgive you this time, if you'll only stop speiiKing to me hereafter." ' I "My dear sir,' replied the debtor earnestly, "1 wouldn't deny myself the! pleasure and honor of speaking to you for twice 10,000 dollars." The Wall | Street, magnate turned abruptly away, rand now returns the bankrupt's'friendly I salutations with a sort of grim humor.'

A HOG STORY. When the lalo Li Hung (liany mis visiting London a loading liprliL on the Stock Exchange, who lived less than one hundred miles Hum Carlton House Terrace, made up liis mind tu send a valuable present lo the great Chinese diplomat, After careful consideration, he decided I lie could not do better than send him two of his most valuable tov do".-'. They were selected with great care ami jscnt to Li Hung Chang, from whom a I letter of thanks was received a few days i later.

"Your gift is much appreciated" wrote the celebrated Chinese Kimiv 1 "but unfortunately my age and health compel mo to adopt a very rigid diet. Under these circumstances, I "directed ! lint t the dogs should be prepared for I some members of my staff, who have I enjoyed them very much."

BOTH BLUFFING. Uu some 01 tne American railways the newspaper men are allowed 10 travel'

"on tueir card, a, H were. Hie other day an impecunious lree-iaiiec, uesumg to visit a toim some distance ana,,, decided to see how lar on uis lourue, bluff would take him. Hitn a great assumption of importance he boarued a tram, saying to uic conductor, "im Stuuus, oi uie New v.oi'K . Haven't got a card on uic. It's all right, I suppose!'' "Gome iigul in, replied the itiain attendant; we've got me euitor ui your paper on board mis very nam, so he will be able to ideuuiy you. With his heart in his boots and seeri<> nothing in store for lum but i»auminious exposure, he followed nis guwc into the presence. Aiuch to his astonishment, the editor merely remarked. "Quite right, conductor. This gentleman is a member of my stall'," and began talking as though he knew lum quite well.

The attendant withdrew, and tu> dumbfounded journalist thought he had better make a clean breast ot it, as the great man was evidently takui" him tor somebody else. ° •When he had finished Lis confession the other just drawled, "Uuess we are both on the same lay, sonny. I was in as big a funk as you. As it happens. Ini not the editor."

BARRitE'S COLLATE. , Cyril Maude tells quite a neat liulc :story about J. M. Uarrie, who rcceiiuv. expressed his views abuul the ceii*or,hq7 of plays. Barrio's loi tune-making piai. "The Little Minister," was beta:: uhearsed at the ilayinarket Theatre, and its author was sealed beside Mr. .Mamie on a little platform built un i 0 the front of the stage. Mr. Uarrie will persist in lolling about in all soils oi attitudes when he sits down, mid oil this particular occasion lie leaned heavily against the railing which surrounded the platform, lieing trail, it collapsed, and J.M. B. was' precipitated with a crash into the orchestra. \\'he;i •picked up he seemed dead, but on being carried to a sofa in Mr. Maude's office he soon revived.

The abrupt dismissal of the rehears,l, jhowever, caused the accident to be talked about, and a businesslike newspaper man quickly put in au appearance. "I hear that Mr. Barrie lias met with an accident," he said. "Oh, it's nothing,'' answered Mr. Maude cheerily; "only a severe shock." "What!" gasped the reporter. ".No blood?" and he went away badly disappointed.

TOO SJ.IM roil IIIM. A Norfolk srjuiru was lamenting- the increase of poaching to liis keeper, wmi tokl Jiiui that a man named Kichards was tlie most notorious poacher in the neighborhood. Soon after, the squiro happened to meet Kichards, who asserted that he could get game whenever he wanted it, keepers or no keepers. Squirei "Well, if you bring me a hare to-morrow from my own estate, llln give you a guinea for it." "What, and you u J.l'.V" "Oh, that'll bo all right." "Well, then, done, sir." Next day the poacher arrived aud was shown into the study. "Well, have you got him!" Kichards opened the sack, out of which jumped a h'llo hare, which ruslied round the room seeking to escape." "Why haven't you killed it?"

"Uccausc, sir," said the poacher, with a grin, "I haven't got a license. You won't catch me yet, sir. I'm a bit too slim for you!"

GILBERT AND GRAIN. The following good story is told of Sir W. S. Gilbert;— Some years ago he wore a beard, and then, for reasons unknown, he shaved it oil'. On the evening of the day upon which the sacrifice was made, he went to dine with Sir .lolm Hare at his horn* at I'ark Crescent. As he entered the hall door he

saw his friend Mr. Corney Grain ap preaching in a hansom. "He will not recognise me without my beard," thought Mr. Gilbert. "I'll sec"; then, turning to the butler, lie gave him his hat and coat, saying, "Go away for a moment, I will show this gentleman upstairs."

Tlie servant obediently retired, and in duo time Mr. Grain arrived, ami was admitted by what appeared to him tlie regulation solemn-faced butler, who took his hat and coat; and, having promptly stowed them away, led the way upstairs. At. the top of the s'tairs tlie man turned. "What name shall I say, sir?" he softly murmured. "Mr. Corney Grain."

The butler threw up his hands. "What, Corney, the Great Cornelius himself! Oh. no. surely, sir; surely it ain't never Cornelius?"'

"Co (ill. num." replied .Mr. drain sternly; '•your conduct is mo.st unseemly." "Don't !«• vexed, sir. but 1 am so 'pleased to -cc you. Curney, the Great Corncy. only to think of it; Uorney hims'elf!" lie niiii'iiiiireil, walking on .before the irate guest, who, lit tlo suspecting [who this indolent man was, resolved to complain to his hosl on the earliest opportunity ami let liim know the Teal character of this .seemingly well-behaved servant.

Arriving : it t.ln- drawing-room, Gilbert Hung open tin- door with much pomp, and in a loud voice announced: "Ladies and gentlemen, here is the great Cornelius drain. Now, don't all crowd round him a I once!" It is needless to say that no one enjoyed the joke more than Mr. Grain when once the fun of the incident dawned upon him.

A PYJAMA STORY. An American staying in London r«ceuly sent the following to Pearson's Weekly:The'late Colonel McChnc was a brilliant story-teller, he says, and here is a story of his about the Spanish war: There was; a regiment recruited from Pennsylvania, and the ladies of the towns got together after the regiment's departure anil made a, lot of pyjamas for the soldiers. Pyjamas were a new thing in those days—very smart, cnclii-, eive, and so forth; the ordinary man wore a nightshirt.

Well, these pyjamas, in big packingcases, went duly Cuhaward, but tin word of their arrival ever came back. The ladies. wailed about a month. Then they wired to the volonel, a genial, whole-smiled gentleman: "Anxious to know if you got the j pyjamas last month." ■:-.. ~„!,, n,.| had never heard of minimis. He wired back: '-Story is a lie. probably fabricated bv enemies lo ruin me politically. Admit am not total abslainer, but never had pyjamas last month or any other i time." '