HUMOROUS SIDE OF THE HOUSE OF LORDS

Taranaki Daily News, Volume LII, Issue 239, 15 November 1909, Page 4

HUMOROUS SIDE OF THE HOUSE OF LORDS

One o! the .most remarkable features „f the House of Lords is its absoluUi freedom of speech ami action. the Lord tWIor, who sits on the Woolsack as Speaker of the House, is pmverU ,. s . tu call any peer to order, there 11V , no rules ol debate, The closure " , m; known. Kvcry peer can practically do what he likes and .say what he pleases. Of course, disorderly conduct need never be feared from the aged and ughllinded peers who regularly ■sittings of the House. It Y»'f »"» . impossible for anything ito distuib the veil-bred decorum of their looks and di - ueanor. Ceriainly Ikc.V are never temptd to do anything ju breach o the ua vritten customs of the t lmn.be.. U a the absence ol regulations as to oidu nd debate, peers of eccentric ha bit. otasionaily cauee a good deal ol trouble, ot unmixed, happily, with amusement. LORD DESMAN'S I'ET TOPIC. I reinemher well the droll antics of he late Lord Denhain, who died suddeuv some years ago at the grand old age f ninety To the very last he attended -.he sittings of the House ot Lords, a ,ent and feeble ligure, wearing a hlaek dcull-cap and white gloves, and leaning icOTily on a .tick. He had ahvaye a ,ct topic. For many year* it was the lire necessity that existed for the provision by the railway companies ot carriages labelled "Men Only." By Bill an.l j v motion, in season and out of season, lie enlarged upon .the dangers to- men travelling alone hy railway of being blackmailed by unscrupulous women. ■Even in smoking carriages we are nat safe from these false frail ones, he would evelaim. A common habit ot ms when the House was considering Eorei«u complications, or some equally serious subject, to ask whether the Government had yet thought fit to compel the railway companies to provide compartments for men only; and having put the question, lie -would hobble out i>f the Chamber before the answer could

be given. . , In later vears he iook up, curiously enough, the subject of the extension of the franchise to women. Session aftsr session he brougut in a Women's Suffrage Bill. His speeches in support o<. the measure were invariably ramblm s and rather -incoherent discourses on all sorts of irrelevant subjects. Once ..when he was appealed to by the Leader of the House to keep to the point, he bridled up and exclaimed: "I may not be your equal in debate, but I ajn the niatcu of any of you in my sliivt-slccvcs."

THREATENIXG THE LORD CHANCELLOR. Eaeh. of the noble lord's Bills vna brushed aside by the customary Parliamentary motion of rejection—that it be i-ead "this day six months." It happened one session, when Parliament continued its sittings for a longer period than usual, that the period of interdiction expired before the prorogation; and the noble lord, turning up on 'this day six months," claimed the fulfilment of'the motion that the Bill should then he read! On another day in a different session that he had the iiill down for second reading he did not hear the Clerk of the House call upon him to move the motion, owing to his deafness, and his surprise was eoniical to witness on ascertaining that, as all the business doiwn for the day was transacted, the adjournment of the House had been moved. Then the sight of the dispersinst peers turned his auger to fury, and, addressing the Lord Chancellor as that high functionary was ceremoniously retiring .from IheChamber, he called out, "If you wait a minute, I'll assist your progress with the toe of my hoot!" ANOTHER HHIII-fiORX FUNNY MAN.

Another unconsciously humorous tiglive in the llcni-e of Uu'ds, of ;i more ro eenl dull'. wa> I lie late Lord Stanley ui Alderley. who died a few years a#>. Unlike' Lord Dcnhuni. he hud no special subject or grievance to ventilate, Jn fact, he look the whole world tor his province. Great, indeed, was the variety of the topics upon which he spoke. But he was just as irrelevant as Lord J)eriinan and mora deaf.

Tic would plate on the notice paper a question calling attention to the state of affairs in Uganda. For a time—but only for a brief time—his speech was addressed to the particular matter of his question, Then suddenly lie would be heard discussing the heavy burden of the rates, the difficulty of access to the Houses of Parliament, the advantage of rotation of oTOps, and the danger to the nation of the fall in the birt'li-rate. ft was not easy for the occupants of tile Press Gallery (o follow him, owing to Jiis indistinct alteram." hut always when he finished liis speech he would throw the manuscript on the desk uf the official shorthand writer, who was seated on the floor of the House, and it would lie printed fullv in Hansard.

However irrelevant he niiglit he, there was not power in the House to slop him. He iiiis-ed Ids train on a day that tie Deceased Wife's Sister Bill 'was down for consideration: but as lie 'had written out his speech on the woes of (Iml lady he was determined that it should not be wasted.

Accordingly, at the next titling, when the House was diseu-',.l,ig the opening of museums on Sundays, he joined in Che deh.ua ait<l related at great length his views on the sister of Hie deceased wife. DEAF BUT TALKATIVE.

So deaf was the noble lord ihat the reply on behalf of the Clover cut to any of his questions was ipiile lost on him. lie might be seen gazin.' lixedlv at the Minister, with a pitiful look of liclplcs-ncs on |,i, face. One day it happy llioiiLdil si ruck him. fir got o-i • of (he clerk's al lite table lo write outer him a suniniaiv of tho answer of I hi. Minister as it was licim.. delivered. This custom he followed till die House of Lords knew liim no more: and as lr leaped over the .-boulder „f (lit- clerk, reading (he transcription of the Minis-tei-s remarks, be could be heard muttering ll> himself: "Does lie veilllV sav thai? How ridiculous! How ridiculous!"