LESSONS IN LOVE

Taranaki Daily News, Volume LI, Issue 324, 16 January 1909, Page 4

LESSONS IN LOVE

110W HUSBANDS AND WIVES "MAY, LiCUITEN I'll Kill J.IVKS. Indisputably, two important factors must go to make a model marriage—a model husband and a model wife, .lint how are we to get the model couple? What are the essential characteristics'! What are the necessary qualities!! These questions are dealt with by Air. Caspar S. Yo s t in two brightlywritten volumes-—"The .Making of u 'successful Husband" and-"The .Making of a Success.ul Wife"—in which he deals with such questions as the honeymoon, the wife's allowance, food, courtesy at home, dull life, man's faults, tin- management of quarrels, and so lorth.

Some people, he says, seem to think that the tender little attentions which innl'li the period of courtship, and that immediately following lite wedding, aie incompatible with the struggle for a living; thill the kiss, (he caress, the little eompli nt, are not only unnecessary, bin even foolish. If you desire happiness as nearly as possible here below, don't make 'that mistake.

A man can rest content in the conlideuce of his wife's nll'eclion, and does not worry if she nelccU in express it in words or actions; but she is of ilill'.rent libre. Mi... wants tar you say "1 love you!" once in a while;' to feel ■your arm steal round her, and your lips pressed to hers. She never grows weary "of these things, and she never grows too old to appreciate them. The question of an allowance is a pretty serious one, and the disposition ol the woman in the case enters largely into its consideration. Some women never get beyond childhood, menially, and prefer lo be treated like children all their lives. They knoir nothing about their husbands' incomes, and care nothijig, if they are kept liberally supplied with the luxuries' t li'ir.oliililisli natures demand. Hut, points out the author, these huiuiiii dolls are a very small minority ot womankind, "it has always seemed to me," In; says, "that the prop"!' view of (he marriage relation is one of netuiil partnership. There should be, so I in- as practicable, an equal division ol labour responsibilities, and linancial I return,. ' "(live Ihe woman control of the ■home, and let her understand that she is responsible for its management. Responsibility makes character in a wo'inan just as it does in a man. ' "Let her have a lixed sum every 'month to pay the household expenses, as well as lo provide for her personal requirements, and allow her to expend Hie money without question or interference." On the subject of courtesy at home, h<. writes: " However taciturn you may ■be in your ollicc, drop i|, when you come •home. Loosen your tongue and open 'your eyes. See things lliat [dense vou and tell her that thev pleas,, vou. ' ' "When she prepares « new dish to tempi your Hugging appetite, let her know if it pleases'you. Praise her coikiug. praise her economics--even if 'lhey are rather expensive at limes— I' 1""!*' '"•'' I sleeping generally. praise her looks—many a woman becomes a. slattern because she feels that her husband no longer takes an interest in her appearance." ' And what is the aulln.r's advice to the would-be successful wife? "The trouble with y,.u women." he says, "is I hat you pick'out „ man, and. then, before you're married to him vou build a high pedestal of marble or ,'niix. or something equally line, and vou carve pictures in bold relief all round the sides illustrating his transcendent virtues. Then you put the man up on top of this beautiful pile, and vou look at him with your hands clasped. ; "Then vi firry, and vou climb up beside him. and you make tile terrible discovery that his feet are clay, also his hands, and likewise his head.' In other words you liml that he's jusl plain garden mud. And then von proceed to have n lit.

' "And nil this time the man is standing round on one loot, wondering what in the dickens is the matter. "Yen see. the man doesn't know that he has been set up on a pcdcslal; he has just been going along, attending to his business the same as usual. Ihinkiii" himself a pretty fair average of a man. ami letting it go at that. ".lust remember (hat your material is mud, and mud, even in the hands of an expert modeller, has its limitations. Restrain your ambition |.i the point of making a good husband, and, when yon have accomplished thill, be salislied with keeping him so. ' " It's a fact so old that even Eve got a hint of it-tluit the lirst principle in the management of a man is the satisfaction of bis stomach. "A little quarrel now and then Isn't a bad thing in any family. On Ihe contrary, it has its virtues.' Domestic life is too likely lo become humdrum if it is all (.noinu and billing. It needs spice. "Hut when you do quarrel, nuke it up quickly. Don't, let it drag. DonT"! put it back in the refrigerator, and warm it up for to-niomiw. Have it out at once, and tlieu-fofget it.'" ■