UNKNOWN

Taranaki Daily News, Volume LI, Issue 324, 16 January 1909, Page 4

UNKNOWN

PaSe<JDOTES AUDIT TUB WHO STAKTEKS EUWH'E.

■'■■.' That Soulier or later the German Km- . peror would venture imo the domain '. ol poeln, as be lias doue in connection WilU mosi ul ttie other arts, was fairly certain, lie did, and tlien muted a lauding litciary light to dinner—and to express an opinion on the merits of the 'completed pu.'iii! Between loyalty and trutnfulncas there is often a great gulf, and for some time the unwilling critic hesitated between the two. llien he thought be saw a line of retreat. "Tnis verse, your Majesty, seems to require alteration in certain respects," be said. The Koyal author studied the effusion closely for a few minutes, and then iie understood. " Why," he tried, " 1 have actually not signed the poem! Give me a pen!" And in a moment the only defect had been remedied. IX DISGUISE. With a wonderful capacity for mastering details, tne Kaiser is ever ready to tackle them when necessary Certain road repairs and alterations bad been reeoinuiended to him, iu order to cope with increasing trajlic. Promising to give the matter his attention, be later enveloped himself in a huge coat and common-looking cap, and thus disguised, slipped out unobserved. Reaching the scene of the suggested alterations, he hung about for an flour, closely observing all that passed. Returning as seerctly an he went, be sent for the official concerned, and merely remarked, "Carry out those recommendations.' 1 ••THAT'S THE WAi!" Crossing the deck of the Royal yacht with a large mug of beer iu uis hand, one ol the sailors was startled by tue sudden appearance of Ins Koyal master. 0 He made a most clumsy attempt to ■•salute with his free hand, while his anxiety to prevent the beer spilling amused his .uajesty. " Look nerc, saw the latter, » you didn't do mac right; let me show you bow it ought, to be done." Telling the man to fancy that he was the Emporor, who was to be saluted, the Kaiser took the mug, and retreated a' few paces. Then, coming forward again, stopping opposite to the sailor, he held the mug to his lips, drained it, set it down on the deck, and gave the salute with military precision. •That's the way to do it," be remarked to the astonished seaman. " Now go downstairs, and tell them to till tne mug up again, and give you one for youraelt. Bay it was 1 who drank it." XO WED Pll'Eß. A bevy of beautiful school girls were drawn up outside the station of llaiueln on the occasion of the Kaisers visit to the historic town. Having graciously received a bouquet of flowers proll'ered, he surveyed the children very much us he would' a regiment of soldiers. Then, smiling at them, he said: " i don't believe there can ever have been a Pied Piper, or there would never have • heen so many pretty girls left in Hameln." AFTER TWO YEARS. At the time tiiat the big liner, l'urst Bismarck, was completed, the ivaiseiv accompanied by Prince henry ot Prussia, made a thorough inspection of the fine vessel. He expressed his approval of everything, until he reached tne din-ing-room. Turning to the captain, and pointing to the tables, be observed: "1 stioukl think a maa who had been at * sea so long as you have would not allow a cabinetmaker to give you squarecornered tables on shipooard.' it was only natural that the table corners should be quickly rounded after his departure. Two years later be again inspected the ship. In the dining-room he smiled broadly. " I see you rounded off the corners. That's good." SERGEANT ON THE .SPOT. iv bile out alone, the Kaiser approach- . ej the Bcrfci barracks, where the corporal on duty at once recognised him. Pleased with the smartness of the man's salute, the Kaiser walked up to him and remarked: "Why do you look so sad, corporal?" Xo reply being vouchsafed, the- Emperor went on: " Disappointed in love, eh?" The corporal then confessed that he loved the daughter of his sergeant-major, who, however, would not permit them to marry until he became a sergeant. "Anil do you love her very much?" "Oh, yes!" was the feeling response. ''Then tell your future father-in-law that "William 11. makes you a sergeant!" When the corporal went oir duty Infound the insignia of his new rank lying on his bed. _ BEATING THE BRITISH NAVY. As a British admiral, the Kaiser is rather proud of his right to board British men-ofwar, and, after his appointment to the rank, he took the first opportunity of exercising it. With a full train of officers in his wake, he visited every part of the vessel, even entering the sick quarters. Here lie noticed a queer-looking plant, and at once inquired its name. The admiral addressed was lost for a reply, uis botanical education had been sadly neglected. The question was asked from officer to officer, while the Kaiser wait•ed with a look a s if the- fate of the world depended on the a-.iswer. At last he had to be told that nobody knew the plant's name. Bursting into a laugh, the Emperor fMaimed: "Hurrah! At last I've found something that the British Navy doesn't know!" SO MODEST! Sitting with his suite one evening, the Emperor drew out a cigar, and looked round for a cutter. One of the gentlemen in attendance hastilv held out his penknife. The Kaiser took it. cut his cigar, and then, as he returned the knife, solemnly remarked: "Keep it and guard it Well. One of these days it will be historic." , AN ACT.OF CLEMENCY. ; An Alsatian, rather than serve h tap German Army, crossed the borders, and entered the ranks of the French. By dint of hard work, he rose to lie a captain, and served with distinction in

the China Expedition. In the course of this campaign he saved the lives of two Carman officers, to whom lie expressed iiis sorrow that lie coud never again Visit Ills native land, although he would limch like to see his aged parent. Out , of gratitude, the officers succeeded in getting the facts laid before the Emperor, who not only granted the (man permission to return home, but gave orders that the sum of money confiscated when lie deserted should lie returned to him. RKI'ROVIXG THE J'RIXfIX ll was Tiot often that the Kinpernr liad to reprove his sons for unseeuilv N conduct; but, after all, princes are only human. After one outrageous display . of linruliiiess, he wiled them before him, where they stood at attention. '•Xever forget," he said, in his most solemn tones—" never forget that von are Hohenzollcrns, and sons of the Kaiser of Gerniany! But you"—ami here he turned fiercely on one of them"just remember that I have my eve on you!" *ROM OXK WHO KXEW. During » rehearsal, in the hVrlin Opera. House, tlie manager had some difficulty in arranging u certain Slav onic dauce. His views did not agree with those of the others present, and for a moment things were at a standstill.' Suddenly, from the dark audilori-

urn, came a voice, full of authority. <l<scribing Hip dance as pciforiu«l ii Hungary, ami giving instructions n« t< the way it should be done. Tin Speaker proceeded" tu give hints In tin 'orchestra, as well as Id tiie dancers Observing their astonishment, lie wouui up with: "Yes, you may stare at ine but it is so!" It was the Kaiser. TOLD OUT OF .SCHOOL. Happening to see a couple of liicm hers of his suite laughing hoisteroiisli over a story of some kind, the Kmpcrw inquired what it was. He then baruec tlult it related to a schoolmaster ii Berlin, who had set his pupils a lessoi to write on ' ; \Vhat ideas of the different Holienzollern Sovereigns are to Ik ■gathered from their legs in the statues of them." -At once the Kaiser tele grajilied to the Minister of Education commanding him to secure as inanv ol the essays as possible. Before long he was in possession of three, one of wliioli concluded with the remark that n Letter estimate of character could l»r» form '«d front the faces than from the legs 'Sensible hoy!" was the Kaiser'? com meat, as he wrote across it: "C'onsidei this the moat suitable condemnation ol the theme.—Willrelm II." Thf lad priws that essay,' which was dult re turned to him. M GRACEFUL AS GALLAXT. •■ A ywhig and ven' pretty Danish «W (WVC: a.Verj finished.violin' -perfnrnranfe .at a Court concert, and the Kaiser could jnot- refrain from expressing his nppreci ation.j "Yon plav the violin admir he said. "When T listen to von Sfith my eyes closed, I think T .1111 hearyet I prefer to keep '£>y eye* open!"