IN A SIMILAR BOAT.

Taranaki Daily News, Volume LI, Issue 319, 9 January 1909, Page 4

IN A SIMILAR BOAT.

Old Captain (iiizzlefuzzlc lia<l gone in for house erection, and had built a row of Highly Desirable Residential Villas, three miles from anywhere, because the land was cheap. Willi his liist mate .13 overseer, lie had placed a L'nion Jack on the roof of each, a look-out box at the top of a high pie, and substituted tiny prtiioles for windows. "Now, what, Jim,'' said 1 old (iuzzlefuzzle, ''shall 1 cod 'em?'' "Well," replied the mate, "this belli' sueli tin out-o'-the-way place like, shiwr me timbers if J wouldn't eorl 'cm Ciibrall.nr Buildings!" "Why for Cibraltar I'.uildings?" inuiiircd the captain. ••Well," explained .Mm. "it's said that tliliraltiir won't never be taken, and, ble„- niv buttons, if these, 'ere 'ouscs ain't in the same boat!" SAVED IX KRISOH. Covered with mud from head to foot, his clothes lorn, his face bleeding, Hie wretched man lied before the angry mob. An old carter, who was driving the road, saw the sprinter and the pursuing ei'dvik il'ity for the hunted hare Idled him with a sudden inspiration. "In yon jump!" lie roared. And ;,i I another minute Ihe two were speeding rapidlv a»av inside the vehicle. "What a'shave!" gasped the panting one. ".My eye, what a .-.have! Drive hard, and I'll give you a couple of quid! I've just done them out of a hundred!" "What?" roared the driver. "D'ye mean to tell me you're a wclshcr, and that there was a racing crowd after yei" The man nodded. "Then out ye go!" thundered the upright yokel, drawing rein. " I ain't no pily for Ilk' likes o' you! W'.v, I tllort vou was a football referee!" PLEASANT TIIOL'tIUTS. The inevitable class was studying grammar, but was somewhat sleepy. ''Now, children," exclaimed the inevitable mistress, " wake up, all of you, do! If you pay attention to me for the next few minutes, we'll linisli up the lessoii ivitlt it little anagraniuiiir. There!" Holt upright at once they sat, wii.lt eager eyes and ears. "Can anyone of you give me a word." continued the gratified mistress, "ending in 'tins.' meaning 'full of—as in ' dangerous,' 'full of danger'; and 'hazardous,' 'full of hazard'?" _ I ■Vm- a moment—silence. Then the in- ' evitable small boy at the inevitable hack, ( of I he. class, who always says these things, shot up his inevitable hand. j "Well," said the teacher, "what is | your word?" " l'lease. ina'rin, ' pious/ " came the ' reply—" 'full of pie.' " Ellison : " llelloa, dear boy, you look | very bad (his morning. What's llic J trouble," Green : "I've just under- ) »one a most annoying operation," Klli- i 3011: "What was it?" Owen: T had k my allowance cut off." The cotton handkerchiefs provided | for French soldiers have printed on | them sanitary precepts to lie oteei'TCd J during a wnrpaign, . .. "