WHAT-AGAIN!

Taranaki Daily News, Volume LI, Issue 319, 9 January 1909, Page 4

WHAT-AGAIN!

' I Tlio two i.tlligercnt men faced each ' j' other. 'I "You're a prevaricator!- ' '• Vou'ru a yellow pup!' -fight!" .shrieked a small Ijoy. IlnAurious crowd began to gather. -.Conn; round the corner, where a •buhbv' won't bother us!" said tile prevaricator. And the two hastened to an empty plot, dogged by a crowd ot bloodthirsty men and youths. Vrrivcd, the prevaricator mounted •> wooden platform that was not tlieio yesterday, while I lie pup dived into a box mid extracted therefrom a bulging ''Then liii' " prevaricator" thus addressed the crowd: -While the doctor gets out the paUv- „.,(■* of our magical herbs, guaranteed to° cure cancer, bunions, all skm di=ca,cs etc., 1 will entertain you with a Kw sleight-of-hand conjuring tricks." WHICH AVAS BIG Hl'.< Perhaps some of our readers arc critical enough in the use of language to decide whether the customer or the sa comail was right in Hie following dialogue :- . , Customer (in an ironmonger s sliopp -Show men small, low-priced shears.' ■ {Salesman (facetiously) : " Perhaps you mean a pair of shears V Customer (severely): "I wean precisely what I said." Salesman (defiantly, opening a specimen article): "Are there not two blades here, mid don't two make a ■pair 1" Customer '(triumphantly) : " You have two leys ; does that make you a pair of men 1" The shears were done up in profound silence. A great liner ploughed her way over a blue and smooth sea. llciv and there on this liner sailors, with puts of paint and huge brushes, painted cowls, stanchions, rails, every tiling they eoubl reach. . .Suddenly, dropping his brush', one of these sailors rushed to a man in si black 'suit. ', ; "Oh, sir," he cried, distressfully, '■' you've sat down in fresh while ;pain(." . Like n rocket the man leaped °.tn his 'feel, curled himself acrobatically,' and 'stared al the seal of his trousers. ,' "Mut I've got a bottle of benzine jn imv bunk," said the sailor. "I'll run' 'ami gel it. I'll have, vour clothes nl'right in a jilVy." 1 Soon the Hollies were all riidil. and Ite man. ere he strolled jauntily of)' 'h : little wet and smelly, perhaps), gaveflie 'sailor a shilling. '. "That's the third to-dav. Bill." tlrV man said to his male. "T fell you, what .with all this pa.inth\ "us ia'ekies do' jiearlv as well mi lips as the stewards.'l' i " That's right," said Rill. "T rjiade U five shillings myself yesterday with <llmt ° little bottle of. fanzine," ' J *