PUZZLING THE POLICEMAN

Taranaki Daily News, Volume LI, Issue 308, 24 December 1908, Page 3

PUZZLING THE POLICEMAN

_ , INGENIOUS TRICK BY A BOGUS BURGLAR, The ventriloquist possesses ;i singul-ir ■faculty for getting the better of his neighbour. In his recent book, "Stage Stories," Dr. Walford Bodie has a curious anecdote showing what an alarming power this faculty may be off the stage. "On one onc-i-iii," he says, "I risked trouble with the Glasgow police by a little vcntriloquial experiment. A pnrty of us left the Queen's Room Club rather late,, and were strolling home arm-in-arm, when I noticed a member of the force approaching us on the other side of the way, doubtless wishing to know our business in the streets at that late hour of the night. "Hush!' 1 said to my friends. 'We'll have, a lurk with him. Back me up in everything. Stop at that next shop, and pretend you hear voices inside.' "We pulled up outside the shop in a body, and leaned forward as if listening' intently. The next moment the policeman joined us, with a gruff—"'What's the matter? What are yon waiting here for'/' '"'Sh!' I said, taking hold of his arm. 'There are burglars in the place. They are talking now. Listen'.' "He also bent forward, and ] threw my voice, inside, the sliop in this dialogue, presumably between two burglars:— "'Careful, .Fim. Tliere's someone oitt-

side' I '"E.ght. Dave. Hide tlie light. Perhaps lie won't notice us.' •• 'l'm afraid it's a coppur.' ••'l'll swing for him if it is. We'll got this swag out somehow. It's too good a haul to lose. <Jol your barker ready'!' •'The policeman didn't wait to hear any more. Turning to us, lie whispered excitedly:-- 1 '"Stay here and see they don't escape.' " 'Right.,' we replied. "At this he ran at top speed to 11 street comer a little way oil. There he. flashed his lantern this way and that to summon assistance from his comrades in the neighbourhood; that, and not the police whistle, being the method in use in Scotland. In a few moments two of . them hurried up, and with them lie returned to the. shop. As they approached, on,) of the imaginary burglars said, very audibly:—

"''We're in fur it. There's three of j Vm now.' j '••Curse 'cm.' replied the other, even more audibly. Shall we give inr "■'(live in!' exclaimed the first one. ■Not much! Shoot 'em one after the oilier. What's three policemen to us?' " I turned to the. threatened men and siiid:■■'ll looks like a stiff job for you. We had better run and get assistance " 'Yes,' was the reply. ' Separate, ami semi every officer you meet here.' " We hurried away, and in due coui'je M-piirnted, but only fo go to our respective homes. It' did not seem to us tc, be necessary to send any more policemen to the shop, for we were convinced Hiul the force already stationed there was amply suflicient In cope with the bloodthirsty rullians inside. What ullimatelv happened I never learned, but even' to this day I rather dread meeting a Glasgow policeman, for fear that he liniv be. one of the three in (pie.slion. and may recognised me as the man who stage-managed that mock melodrama."