A MAN WHO WANTED A WIFE

Taranaki Daily News, Volume LI, Issue 222, 12 September 1908, Page 3

A MAN WHO WANTED A WIFE

One fine Saturday all the village was startled and shocked when old man Elbridge drove up to the rail of the post office, and calmly announced that he was going to he married just one month from .that day. " Who are you going to marry, Charlie'/" asked the men who had known him for half a lifetime. " Who's the bride-to-be?" " Don't know," replied Elbridge, seuteirtiously. "What? Got your wedding-day set and don't know who you are going to marry?" they asked. Then they decided that Elbridge was joking. " Come on, Charlie, tell us who she is. It is your housekeeper?" "My housekeeper isn't marrying," was the reply. ■'Well, tell us who it is, then."

"■1 don't know, that's a fact," said Elbridge. " I haven't any more idea of wlioni it's going to be than you have. You see, it's this way; I've been living up there in the old place for about twenty years now. Twenty years is an awful long time for a man to live alone; un awful loug time. I stood it all right up to this time, though. But this spring I looked out at the grass getting green on the hills and I said; 'Old man, it isn't good for man to live alone.' So I just set my wedding-day as a month from to-day, and made up my mind to go out and get a wife." The countryside began to gamble 011 Elbridge from that day. Some thought lie .would "get some one" in the time he had allotted himself, others were sure that it was not such an easy thing to pick up a wife. When lie began to "keep company" with eligible young women the betting swerved in his favour; when tlie women biirew him over, as they did, the odds rose swiftly against him. Elbridge was as energetic as lie was original, lie went after his bride-to-be without any delay. lie began the day after he had made his startling announcement in the town. A neighbouring farmer had a buxom young daughter who looked good to the old man. On Sunday he hitched his best horse to his best buggy, and, arrayed in his best attire, he went to lay siege to the hand of the damsel. But the damsel had ideas of her own regarding the ethiWof courting. She didn't fancy a lover who came to her and said:

"I've decided to get married just a month from to-day. Will you be my liappv, blushing bride." She had ideas that love-making should be conducted along more conventional lines, and she was not at all backward in letting Mr. Eldridge know her mind. Also the girl's parents did not take kindly to the aged neighbour as a prospective hu>band to their daughter. They rebuffed him most decisively. Elbridge went home a sadder, but not discouraged man. 11 is confidence of being able to get someone to stand up with him as a wife 011 the dary he had iixed was not even jarred. ••Women are plentiful-, and most - 1 them want to get married, he philosophised. ISO he went home and ordered a caterer to prepare a wedding feast, and planned new ventures in the realms of hearts. " Perhaps I am a little old for the young girls," he thought. " Perhaps a woman slightly over the period of youth would be more suitable." There happened to lie just such a wjman in the neighbouring town. She was the widow of a former postmaster, and while she was not young, she was not at all unpleasant to look upon. Elbridge put a (lower in his coat and hied himself to her. He told her just how it was. ITe had decided to get married next month, and would the widow be one of the contracting parties? "What? Marry vou a month from to-day?" gasped surprised woman. " Well, to be exact, twenty-nine days from to-day," avowed the elderly wooer..

<; \Yoll, I should say not. 1 wouldn't many you in n hundred years," was the irate reply. *■ All right, don't get huffy about it," said Elbridge. " I just ask you, you know. No harm done." And he went and ordered a wedding suit to be ready on the day set. ! A deaf widow next attracted his attention. There were patent advantages in a de-af wife. So thither went Klbridge, with a pencil and writing-pad. " I 'want you ,to marry mo twentyeight, days from to-day," he wrote. The widow rose quickly and swung a broom before the man fully realised what her rising poitended. "Well, lucky i 4idn"t land her/ 5 ruminated Elbridgo as he stepped into the printer* and ordered him to print some wedding-curds. ,; I don't fancy those quick women.'• -People noted how

things went with liim and his courting, and wore ottering five to one that he would not land his bride in the time, stipulated. Elbridgc put a few small •wager* ou liimself aiid went to seek out another prospective wife, another widow. Here lie never even got to -see the lady fair. The widow's daughter opened ill'- door. ••(.'an I see your mother?*' asked .Mr. Elbrdge, politely. " What for?'' i want to propose to her.' 5 ' So, you can't .see her. you old idiot,'' .snapped flic young woman promptly. •• Well, then, will you -ask her it she'll marry me next .month?" persisted Ihe ardent .suitor. But the door was banged suddenly in 'his face.

At the next place he tried both mother and daughter. The mother would not listen to him and the daughter itood by and smiled. Elbridgc fancied that the smile was not all against him. lie even saw visions of a eunquest then and there. •'How about you'i Will you marry nn\ then'f he asked the girl. l»ul the smile was only a smile of ridicule, and ag:iin the wooer received the hoarse hoot. Tho*c who had bet thai Klbridge would fall down in getting a bride vere 1 now jubilant. Ten days had now slipped away, and ten limes -luid he been thrown. Another week went by and <till nothing occurred in change his sentiment. The odd- were now twenty to one against him and no taker*. St ill another -even days slipped bv and Elbridge had 110 promised bride, lie w;is -.urelv going to lose. Two days before the month was up it visitor came to stay with a neighbour of Elbridge. She was lair, plump, and forty. The moment that the old man had set his eyes on her he knew why his wooing had so far been unsuccessful. Cupid was saving him for his allinity. And the fair vi-hor at the neighbour's was it. "Will you marry me the day after to-morrowasked Elbridgc. ''Of course." >aid tin? woman.