IF I WERE A MAN.

Taranaki Daily News, Volume LI, Issue 190, 1 August 1908, Page 3

IF I WERE A MAN.

| HOW I WOULD BEHAVE. (By Annesley Kenncaly.) If I were a man whose wife or sweetheart was pretty, I'd toll her so over and over again, 'if she were not pretty she would need still more to have Jie'r good looks praised. " Every woman is to be gained by some sort of flattery." It pleases her. And it doesn't do a husband's soul any permanent harm to make pleasant remarks sometimes to a wife.

I The palpable perjuries of a man with an ugly mate might occasionally give I the Kecording Angel a bit of an dec--1 trie shock. But all the same he would set down a few extra good conduct marks to the credit of the hero of the incident. Now, if I were a man, I'd kiss a «!'" the very second she began to " nag " nu lecture. It's a sure cure. She mostly says nasty things because she feels lonely and neglected. The obvious study of a ni.'.H is woman. Therefore, I think I should regard it as worth while to become a past-

master in womancraft. It isn't a difficult science. But it's a liberal education for d man. And parliament ought to see that it is taught, eompulsorily, at all 'varsities, continuation schools, and polytechnics. Clever Cabinet Ministers, men quite competent to manage the State, remark several times a week to the wife, " Now do lie sensible!" without any conception that this is the most aggravating weapon the master mind of man could indent to use against the-eternal woman. Doesn't she spend her life in being " sensible "—in making bargains with tradesfolk, settling disputes with servants, turning out cupboards, superintending the spring-cleaning, and preparing the children for school? It's a pity if she may not sometimes indulge in a few feminine tantrums and show a little sweet unreasonableness to the man who vowed to love and cherish her. Yes, even when she "jibs" under tho rein of double-harness. The most sensible woman like some love, lollipops, niuTtrimmings in her life.

"I have no other but a woman's reason—l think it is so because I think it so." It is an admirable argument; and not all the King's horses and all the King's men over-loaded with logic and philosophy can refute it. If I were a man I shouldn't try. Humour a woman in the trifles that don't count, and you can have your way in the big tbings that matter.

If I were a man I wouldn't contradict a woman. I would do exactly as I liked in all circumstances, and she probably would not find it out, and wouldn't mind if she did, so long as I didn't lay down the law and " talk back " at her. If I were a man I wouldn't make critical remarks about women's small failings. It doesn't alter them. You can hurt her feelings, but you can't take a worship of beaded fringe and ■Tal-lala out of a woman's heart by sneers' and philosophy.

That other man gets the worm—or the woman's love—that man who heartens her up, and to use an expressive American slang term, " jollies her along.' 1 There's something big, manly, and adorable in a man strong enough to " jolly " a woman along, and who doesn't think it worth while to niggle about those hundred small things of no importance which are as the apple of the feminine eye. If I were a man I wouldn't take my wife for granted, like the parlour fender or the breakfast coffee. It isn't nice to be regarded as a sort of household fixture.

After all, it is very easy to manage a woman. But, perhnps, t should not not know this if I were a man.