WIT AND HUMOUR.

Taranaki Daily News, Volume L, Issue 324, 25 January 1908, Page 4

WIT AND HUMOUR.

lit-: " il.tw u iv.ui inv "t JiiKllWO \oii kllow lllrV Wt'lV 11--j.nv.i l»\ -Sll**: "1)1,. Ml. Srill.hlri-, | <.' I ; ii, 111- I 1.-l kl : •' 1- 11 It Mr lll.n Uu-Il l!h- ci(i«K -jtnkl'- -siv \UU [>lll jt'ttii y. in jit u ,in«i -i-j, <*\«;n H you iiiv iii ui" ni. i ii»' »»r a 11- »k.: "I'oiuUMx 1101, Ml. ii ll -» n»Mi «i\ ,i- llut. I iit-wr ln< ■Al.l-.l Ul .111. trh-i'. .uv \>>uii£ men v\ Uo lauuol lioid t -ki'sii i.r u.»oi mi- tlivii inodivi- w f li- • ■ul uiiiuiij:. i>iii who wili ii'»M l»riwt n | iUi-l imu' ui .i iifigiiWoini-ij! ; Uiml\ i«»r l!i< in'>i patl ol ;ia i*venii»y ; w.iu a I'jti'-Ji.r .iiiil dociiity llut i.«-

Tin- li'-n ii :ii«- ii w 1 ill I y ' \\ l.>. I .1 i .i v-« ih-.U.l thry w.-iv Vr i \ ie\LT "1 w.u- ill- It -I I'lfii. It >t lnilai in n .i >U —. .til l wlli',l I t»l I'ill i- til ; i-iiul.iu't Ull't' l-l.Uni ;l vvoul t liutfKJi: "I'm i . y..u J.li: . .\r»* y.'ti «>it lit** mmu» ..I ih«- in .; k«»l i ruiiii'iio. " -.i.irk»-i ! lun^-tl: i itioVfil uM'i'l.v : tin' v.i it ii i.i tl li.v* |»oun-l-* \\*»rth ot the fnriiilim*. I l"-t ;t llan!» »n Kn«I.n»«! noic. i'.'.' ga* company iiu' U|» t<»r double tli" u-ual and I've j"-t been -iiim iiwned 10 a jury." .After a k>u*> au»l wasting .« North u tiiitrvm.iti was about t«» d«'M ii *• clothe* iur tin* lir-i tinn\ ~.10ck." ♦■alU'.l hi- will'. Jroni nit a«•

joining r<H»in. " thau .ili li:/ 1 .■u.'-r T ! Thr ««mhl man. with a lively n-ii-e • hi* eniaviateil <-uu«iitmii. n-pln-d dryly: " A\*. Aa> iii 4* rlaes lvot rum;', hut th<*r»:* nowt to hang m on!" " 1 have M'i'ii many fantastic and himoroui adwitivuu'Ut"? ia newspaper* during my roiiifwhut caivi".' one** sii«i a uvi!-known orator, in au utidr»>»-> to a rouieri'iin- >)i journalists,' U'-\ «|UiU» ilm» m">t iat<-n ami oddest ■ ! the**.* wa-! au ;«d. ) «-han»-«*d uj»oii i-i Jt \Vi-> printed iu tin* r-t;ii«l o« ! linn*-.' ..[i-i, a-, i ivm* in> it h. l -u iikf 1 hi-: "A voting man wUo <>n !}«»• pu':. 01 getting married i> m«»-l .»a> . ; mtvtiuji a man oi e\jn'rioik»! who wi ' lake tin- i*->poi*«il.ility of hi 1 from thU dangerous step."

Voung Lady. "Oh. i don't si-. i..t argument at all. But thin, you ku.i.-. iwith .ui.iiii.iii-. I mil next d i.. . fooir The I'.u.i: "Oh. in,: \,.u mii-i U- be -in.- J. hi, -I'" lo -ay -o!" .\!a-:i-trai-: "l'.u Murphy, ihe co.u -table -a'-- von were li-htiug. Whai iiu. you t.-'-iy for vour-elfr" I'U Mui-phy: " Wrii. y.air wur.-liip. oi .. : i -mwhit,: s-'iirr 'on. an' Oi.wa- -■ i. ■■:,:>■ pioud jr it that Oi got into a : . . -w v.-id a .in -o a- oi cud tat;.- • ..-,-. an' ve-ol off and show it." '... !.:..!■ iiiuie-l l'riis-t was playing at - ..t ;!:.- priii.ip.il theatre-. Someou. . ..-a:!.--! at ilo- t..irri.-k t lull thai there .-,- agi -at in.inv men iu the pit. " I'r.d.i'oly <lerk- who have taken .'.: ' - iir.ie.r-. -aid Nir. i'nole. one ..I Hi, . . i iiu-ter- a- well .-.- one of the no. -;. -. i -.itiii-t- .if th- -i iy. "J ■- ; v - !-. i beat ~.,',.• daughfei ' •. l-oi -'R-- iii..light il all back t; in--. .;:" ii-: I'., l.i-i-ii living io buy mil on :u-\t at hait-p.ii ■ tor \e.irs, in.l i.-iil.l in-vi r bring him In tt-iin- na;ilfln- i'.iiui- iiiine ami began playing." He bad buri.d three Im-ban 1-. and Hi.- i..iir;h l.iv mid while th- undertaker mea-uie.| limii. And -he we- known in the Kiiti-h lillage lo have put a-i-l-----i.iii-.biug in. ..- than hu-b.iu.i-. - It i-ll'l J.'i-'j]- the right time t ellliirii -ii-ii a in.iT'.er." -aid the umierlal. r 1.1 tin- aid..,., -out if you iia, lieliking ..f '.iking .: litlh "Now. that come- nf being pii.ipi:.11-.- replied th.- widow. 'l've iu-l took the barber what come to -line liie ...ip-e.-

A pi.uni-iiij v.,nth i.-.eiitl'. -mpii.-cd in- fail..-, by .'-king: " Father, .i ■ \i.ii lik.- mother';" •Why. ve-: .It .•ulir-e." -And -In- lik.- wiu!" 11l ...ur-e -l„- .'ioe-." Did ►ln- ever -ay so:" " Many a time, my son.' Did -h.- marry yuii Vcau-c she lov.-il »on y "Certainly -lie did." The Ipoy -ctutiniseu hi- puient e1..-ely. jiu! after a long |>ause a-ked—-•■Well. W.i„ -ii,- a- near--ighte.| then as »lie i-. now?" liell: Nell. I want t.. go on the -lag.a- an •-llloti-iU.il aetli—. I want lwa.lt ;•> make peuph- it; and ,hed teals." Nell: - I'm-v ll vi\ .ill righl-lor their oi.ney Ui.-ti." lir-1 Vi-itor: " .Mi»-t inttn-ting country round about here. Have you .-ecu ■ln- ruin-?" ><mju.| Vi-itor iwin ha- just' paid hi, •nil.: -W-: 1 -u[i| you mean the ■a«st- icning I hi- hotel." Diit. i-.orge. .-aid -lo- to th- li.iml- • :i:e young ioiuiil.-ei. - what would ymi i illy'io il tht-re wa, a sudden en. 'To I ai.i.-. to arms':" rt'ell." -ai-l (..-org-.'. it would de -nl. 1: tin- .rv cam.- from vour lip, 1 -..-.all .onie.

lie U.v. Mr. Kn-.id.-r. ..I I'hila.leliilihi. .- mm---! '.■. dim- al tin- house oi a lii.-ad. »!...-.' e.ii.- went int.. her kit ■ ii--n to ;in- -uiu. final order,. In.i-l--i.:.i!l-. -be .iil.l.M ;.. th,- servant: U.- ..,«- to hau- a lewi-b rabbi >or -.■ a r t...1ay."" .-■i Hi. uiomt-nt the maid sitrvej.-d I.- sni-t.-. -- in giim rii.-n.e. Tln-ii '-he -j-ke with ilki-ioii. "AH 1 :..*..■ i.i -ay i-." -!,.■ announced. " -: >o'i li.tv. j .1. .- -Ii rai.l.i i.ji .Jjuner y •■» .1 tool, it louf-elf."

I)M i ,-.e> ali th.lt i,,; \\. j-. ir|f!a"'.i *!;♦ jnj"n-j- ----• i i.,r >• rii> r «.l ih»- lit Etiti'ijiii i > . ! -r(| tV r [ .kiii:i vn _l.(•■ I[i (jttl <•! til it I ' * I .<!!)•'. Ali i -is j i nt'J i- j.i M \V| Mil-: i I ' It,- *••:!►? .*tft ■.«;] ni\ " \ i.iiiii h.i•» ii! -.; i,i t "-it L"ti S jii'l .i triwii \:■ !ii:u i ■ ll a i jr. - ■. ,i !•» wlioin !>• t »• !■ ... n . ,iiii> Ua- k .mm <1 >»; ft C"**. I \<' l ; k«-ii iiit l *ii''illih" : ■:.uf I'm i; | M.-m i,, rh.it .|m-:.>r " i* ' ■; h : ,~ ii i- ii.|. V • ... !»•; ;■ -,j. iU !- |l|-| .. 1! ' . .( . • 1. i ■. i, - ■■ * 11— ir- 'i>. . \ . :t:>; Im-I'CA i!, 'jn I. Uy A ! r ii.il i - ii.| Jit >: I H 1 '»■ ri ii.j.'f ii | r.ik.- -ii h ri-k- i?'M«/ "* • i 1 • t l ' '.. V • Hi- -I- ■ i:. !. ■ -..1-:, »r > j. | - -ir ; ■■ ■ I ni-H."

-iti.i-1 liiit " - ii.ii L :: f.nt -.m. r. oil m\ U.i,»v' ii: h-.il-! , Vim- ■ J.H. t-~ _V> r "" iiii- u ii! ;i v imi ij -• .1 Ui >h u'ii! r!ir» i iinir. . s .i.e. , "i* s'l'rr;. Ir-utuiM.'ii-V- . wiitMl .lll'i JI tli : ,111:! f..-' kin iN-r . r. i--. T ■>•... •'■ " . I l+-i < riilii-L' !*.i i > 11 <>mi i i;--la-- i•i i : "'I In- will li\ i."i. Tak,. .» "mf i»! flir.-i' ;lnt. - - ; i . . .il»-l.irii ii I'M'. ic^mti:,i- ---■ if- f.i-- h In-1* I>l »-I. an.l trui'-. •!J- t-'v. l - I'ii'lltv MJM-f'i- •• r I'.

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