Page 4 Advertisements Column 2

Taranaki Daily News, Volume L, Issue 314, 13 January 1908, Page 4

A woman who is trying to "climb" into Washington society attended a recenet reception at the house of Mrs Tuft. The crowd wae so great that guests were hurried along tlie line of the receiving party with merely a handshake with the Secretary for War. The "climber," with determination written on her face, finally pushed her way up to her hostess and paused long enough to say "How do you do, Airs TaftK" adding, with a very impressive manner, "I've heard of your husband." A man from the East said that on a Western trip he rode'across the prairies in a train that hardly went faster than a walk. Cattle, drags, and trampe paosed him. Finally, in a desolate place, the train stopped. The passen* gers began to fume and fuss. Why this stoppage? 'What could be the matter? In the midst of the angry turmoil the conductor came slinking through the car. He bent over the Kaeterner, and with a shamefaced air whispered: "Say, have you got a piece of string about you? We want to fix the engine." There was a barber in South Bend, who, having been out late the night before, had a shaky hand the next morning and cut a customer's cheek four times. After each accident the barber said, a- lie sponged away the blood: "Oh, dear me, how careless!" and laughed, and let it go at that. The patron took all those gaslie* in grave silence. But when the shave was over he filled a gla*:. at the water cooler, took a mouthful »f water, and with compressed lips pnx-eeded to shake his head from side to side anil tos> it up and down. "What is the matter?" the barber ankeil. "You ain't got the toothache, have you?' 1 "Xo, ! said the customer; "1 only just wanted to see if my mouth would still hold water without leaking, that was

A well known Scottish architect was travelling in Palestine recently, when new* reached him an addition to his familv ( irclo. The happy father immediately provided himself with some water from the Jordan, to earrv home for the <hri>tenmg of the infant, and returned to Scotland. On the Sunday appointed for the ceremony he duly presented himself at the church, and sought out the beadie. in onb-r !■» hind over the preeion- w\tt»T io hi- can-. He pulled the from his pocket, but the l>eadle held nn a warn-ng hand, and came nearer to "No* the noo. >ir." he said, "no' th® noo. Maybe after the kirk's out!" S..on alter his first baby was bom h7> wife went tip-fair* one evening and found him standing by the side of the crib and gazing earnestly at the child. She wa- touched by the sight. and tears filled her eyes. Her arm- stole softly round hi* neck a- she rubbed her cheek cares-ingly againsi hi- shoulder. TT«* started -lightly at the touch. ''Darling," lie murmured dreamily, "it is incomprehensible to me how they can get up Mich a crib a*- that for fKI cents." A country school teacher found that one little firl. who came from a family not noted for Wing especially bright, was nnsble to -av when her birthday (•.-.me. So. in order to complete her ren;r«l'. the teacher walked two miles to -e.« ♦he girl's mother one afternoon after .-t-hool. A-ked if she could reniemlier jjisi wh' -i hnr dayghter war* born, the woman f-mght for -*>me little time, and then ivith a sort of puzzled look, said: •• \v.». iW' gtl was born in 'tater time, ill-. * in f remember wlieth,r i i Mnntin' on 'em or a digging "U em." (1-. if.-ve* ec hire J? fid pT month, r-.t!: lie.'t»t 5 |k r month. With the r»furn '"m-T in-tal one in your hniri r Write to Ga« Company. New piv?r..v«'V—A«M

a y.w.n lawsi'it nmnv:n. Til Sivreme Tniirt the People, hive •la,-:,! .1 lint V)r. Sh.ddon's N'ew Dis eoveiv wins against Cough*. Colds, and Con?"e-.piion. !b «d and 3s. Obtainable everywhere.