Page 4 Advertisements Column 3

Taranaki Daily News, Volume L, Issue 312, 10 January 1908, Page 4

TRY BRASSO THE NEW LIQUID METAL POLISH. made by RECKITT'S, makers of ZEBRA STOVE PASTE. THE PANAMA CANAL. MANU RE

A critic is a man who couldn't have dune it himself. Every self-made man thinks other men ought to borrow his pattern. From a bird's point of view .1 single bush is worth a down ha mis. Contentment is merely dividing what you liave with what you want. Some people are always either ieeling "pretty bad" or "just a little better/' the most sincere person in the world does not mean it when he says, " 1 don't care." There Wouldn't be so many marriages if a man had any idea that his wile would ever resemble her mother. "JJver surrounded by wolves?" "Xo, but i know the sensation. 1 used to open the dining-room doors at a summer hotel." The young girl's air was pensive. "Tomorrow," she said, "Reginald will conduct me to the altar. There," she added, smilingly, "his leadership will end.'' Jerrold: X can't get any speed out Of tliat motor car you sold inc. You told me that you bad been arrested six times in it. llobart: So 1 was. old chap —for obstructing the highway. Father: So, Fritz, I've concluded to retire from active life and turn the business over to you. Fritz: Say, dad, can't you work a few years longer, and then we can retire together 'I Teacher (in American school): Which is further away, Kngland or the moon: Pupil: Kngland. Teacher: Why'' Pupil: llecause you can't see Kngland and you can see the moon. "Who is the happier—the man who lias a million or the one who lias seven cliildren!" " Well, the man who has a million desires more, and the man with seven children has sullieieiw." Poetic Bridegroom: 1 could sil here for ever, gazing into your eyes and listening to the wash ot the oi-ean. Practical liride: Oh, that reminds me! darling, we have not paid our laundrv liill yet. lletriliution.—Dora: And s,j you <|iiarrelledr lx>tlie: Yes; and 1 relurned all his presents. And what dn you think hi' did? Dora: .Something horrid. I'm sure. Lottie: He sent me hall a iloz'Mi boxes of face powder with a note explaining that hi> thought he had taken as much as that home 011 his coat since lie first knew me.

Lady (who has overbalanced herself m the water): Help, help; throw me a lifebelt! Gallant shop assistant: Yes, madam: what size, please? Maid: My mistress isn't at 'home, ma am. (aller: Plea-e tell her, when I saw her peeping from the front window as I came up, I was so afraid she might be. Bacon: Did you ever have any desire lo go 011 the stage? Kglierl: (Vh, ye,; only last week 1 had. Oh. the actor was vile, lint I contnetcd myself with shving an egg at him. leacher: \\ ho was it supported the World upon his sliouiders'; Tommy: Atlas. ,i r . Teacher.- Who supported Alia S? Tommy: The liook don'! say. but I 'spec! his wife did!

Mr-;. \invp(l: Tlh> i-ook i* an impmlpnf tiling, >o >he is. Xovvod: What'* tlir J nmi»U\ dear? Mr*. Xowntf: Why. T hor this morning, but alu» refirseil tn j»o. The jiolilotnnn pulled In* cigar- ■ ■Hi' dejectedly. and refund |„ 1),. con--nlcil. "And did von bag (lie lieautifill liciri>ca at ]n»t ?" a-iked Hie inlcr viewer. " Xo: all I 1 uwas hiv troiHers." Air. IJ.nd C.w.'e =siiyx Hip T.oivN l>).»k ')"■ irar to P,-irad ; --e. I'fCIU'KCT DIGESTION MEANS PERFECT lIEAI,TII. A good stomach keep* every part of till' body in perfect condition, and Di«-'■'-e cannot break in. Dr. Sheldon's Digestive Tabulos arc a natural remedy fnr all disorders and weaknesses of the ~!omach. They possess exactly the same properties ai> the pastric juices and other di'L'cslive fluids of the stomach. They actually do the digestive work of the stomach, and enable that organ to rest, recuperate, and become sound and healthy. They act in a mild, natural manner, and cause no disturbance in the digestive organs. They prevent any fermentation of the fond, which causes sour -'nmaili. TJr. Sheldon's Digestive Tahnle« m-t ; l h >alfh into every part of the human bud v. They compel perfect difres'of tic food and perfect, assimila:on of the fond nutriment. Every "vjaji of the body is kept in repair, and ">"d health Twults. At the - "pi f-irie (be «fninach, bciiif* relieved ..•" its wnrlc. sets well and strong. Oh'ninable everywhere.