THE NEW HAT.

Taranaki Daily News, Volume L, Issue 61, 14 December 1907, Page 3

THE NEW HAT.

(By Herbert lamieeon.) When the telephone liell rang, Jnkins, Richard ISnnvn anil C'o.'s cashier, chanced t'i l« llii> sole occupant «f the ollice. lie i to tin' instrument, and took down the receiver. Hullo! Who's there?" "It's I, dear. I've just bought a new hat at a sale—such a dream of a hat—and Oh, please, don't lie angry!" Hut it was only .lakitts gasping. lie was a shy, timid, unattached young man, who Wished painfully whenever a woman addressed him—even from the other end of the telephone.

"I'm afraid—er—you'vi- made a mistake,'' he stammered, with searlel cheeks. "I ean't hear," replied (lie owner of tin- unknown voire. "You've made a mistake." "Not at all, dear! It will go perfectly with my new l>est dress. Are you there?" "Yc! Xo!" Suddenly the voiie lost its dulcet coaxing tones. "Aren't you Mr. Urown?" "X"!" "Wlni are vou. then?" "I'm Mr. lirown'- cashier." ■■What arc you answering his tele l-lioiic for. then? Oh. T do call it nms disgraceful! Ot Mr. Brown at once!' "He's not in." 1 "Xot in?"

'•No, Miss!" "Did I hear you say 'Miss?' 1 hope nobody called 'Miss' is in the habit of ringing Mr. Brown up. I'm Mrs. Brown." Perspiration stood on the poor young man's brow. "I bog your pardon, Mrs. Brown. No, certainly not!" "What do you mean by 'certainly not'? Why should Mr. Brown be 'eer- j taiuly not'" in?" "I didn't mean that," said Jakins in agonised tones. "I was referring to —oh. will you please ring up again?" "I can't do that. I'm at a call office. Yes, I'll take another three minutes, please. This young man at my husband's office is a perfect fool. Now, can I trust you to give Mr. Brown a mesa«o?" "Yes!" "Write it down! I've got a new hat." "I've got a new hat." "Put it in the third person! Your "I'lciise, Mrs. Brown, I'm not niar-

Two minute* later .lakins hung up the receiver with shaking finger*. He bad certainly never cut such a poor figure at the telephone. If Mrs. Brown repeated hex expressed opinion of liinito Mr. Brown (as seemed highly probable). Richard Brown and Co. might soon lu socking a new cashier. Tie looked at the message in his hand. It was in shorthand. Ho wrote it out mi longhand, and, when Mr. Brown came in. lie followed his employer into his private room. "I'lcase, sir, your wife lias been telephoning." "My wife? What about?'' •lakins consulted his notes. "She lias bought a new hat at Jobson's sale. It will go splendidly with her now dress. She wants you to sen,! ofT a cheque at onie to .Tobson's in the Hollo way road, asking them to despatch the hit hv their next delivery, and reminding them of the address. The amount, is £2 10s lid, and it's a real bargain." Kiohard Brown sat down in bis chair, momentarily speechless with surprise and annoyance. He was surprised, of course, that his wife wanted a new hutall husbands are. He was also surprised that a i: 're covering for the head, priced at '.'2 IDs lid, should be called a bargain: he'd never spent more than "Ids fid on a 'nt for himself. And he was extreme!;, annoyed that such an intimate donio-Cc matter as the purchase of a hat r honUl be the public property of the office. Through sheer nervousness, .lakins

Iwck smiling. "What are you laughing at?" tlniiid'ied Richard Brown. "Go and draw the cheque at once!" For the rest of the day Richard Brow.i and Co.'s clerical staff did not have a particularly happy time of it. Il was the matter of the hat, of course. Richard brooded on it constantly. No man likes to be made to pay through the nose, as it were, for his wife's purchases. Greta's unusual conduct could only be explained by the fact that last week her mother had

been stopping with her. Xn doubt, during tli.at visit the seeds of insiirrertion. which had now bornp fruit, had !>eoii sown. Ho remembered that the mother had one evening taken great ex ception to nrota's last winter's toque, and that they—the women, of course—had discussed the subject ad nauseiim. When Richard readied his house at Highgatc, .Tobson's cart was just moving away from the door, Orcta was kneeling on the hall floor, unpacking a box with furious haste. As he entered >-he unwrapped the last fold of tissu" paper, and held up—a hat. So engrossed was she that Richard's entry was unobserved. "Oh. it's a duck!" Then she saw her husband. "Dick, you dear, yon darling! How ean T thank you for this lovely surprise?" and, rising from her

' ".Pi's, she threw both her arms around bis neck, and kissed him several times in succession. Richard made no response. It was bad enough that Greta should have bought tlie hat without his sanction; it was far worse that she should thus be hypocritically thanking him. Ho had never appreciated her kisses less. lly this time the bat was on her head, and she was surveying it in the mirror of the hat-stand.

"Oh. it suits me to a T, and it's just a perfect fit. Hon' could you possibly have guessed that it would be my style? T do think it real clever of you! Fancy your going off to .lobson's and choosing it yourself! What did they Say to you in the shop? Oh, here's (he receipt! C2 Ills lid. Why. I've never had such an expensive hat in my life. I never give more than 2.K you know. I do call il good of you." Fortunately, she was bending now, restoring the hat to the box, or the .-ight of Richard's face would have given biiu away. It was clear now that fireta had not" bought the hat; she could never lie carrving on the pretence like this.

Yi'hat in the name of tortuiir hart bap])C!ic(lV Who had sent that message over the telephone? Had .Taking heen liriliert to invent the whole tale! Whoever had hatched this conspiracy? Ah!

Illumination had come. Greta's mother had done this. Unknown to cither of them, she must have selected the hat for Greta, and then, with snhlime audacity, had either telephoned hersjlf or got semconc to telephone in I her danghter'3 nann 1 . r? n V"»''"r-| h Vr

gßttnffaJfliit'w, Tfflt Tiis-^-^, Again Greta's arms came clinging about his neck.

"Oh. nick, I can't thank you half properly." .ih! Why not? Greta's mother might certainly be trusted to keep her infamous secret from Greta. Besides, had he not paid for it? "I'm so glad you're pleased, Greta. T don't think the cost of a thing matters when you get the really correct article."

On the same evening, within another suburban home in a place contiguous to Uiglignto—East Finehle.v, to wit— Phyllis, wife of Leonard Brows, City niercliant, sat awaiting with some interest her husliand'a return from town. Mad lie carried out lier telephone instructions and forwarded the cheque to • logon's? There was the chance, of course, that lie would send .Tobson (mentally), to •lericho, and decline to put his hand in hi-* pocket. A had debt that day of even 5.5, and Mich would certainly lie his line of conduct. And for that contingency Mi*, lirown had prepared. She was unknown at .Inbson's, and had not mentioned any address to which the hat was to lie despatched, merely stating that a note of same would accompany the remittance. If dolison's did not receive the money, they would naturally, after a decent interval, replace the hat in their shop window, and Phyllis Hrown would send her last winter's hat to the local milliner's to be so reshaped ami re-trimmed hat her dearest friend would fail to recognise it. lint no, Leonard would not lw such a brute as that. Of course, he would have had a good day at business, and come home smiling. "Well, little woman, vou did me nicely to-dny." "Dear, vou don't mind very much?" "Well, 'it did seem a bit 'steep, but never mind. Only don't do it again!" That was the dream. This was the reality: Leonard arrived home and said nothing—nothing, we mean, about the hat. Nor did he look anything. To the timehonoured question. "Had he any news!" he made the time-honoured reply, "Nothing!" There was no hint of anger nor of the slightest restraint. Not a word out of the ordinary passed his lips. It was most exasperating. The evening wore on. Kvery cart that went past set lier heart beating. This must be Jobson's two-horse van at last. No, it had gone by. The hour for dohson's last delivery crept by. The bat was not coming to-night. Perhaps the cheque had been posted late. To-morrow, which was a Saturday, came and went. No bat! No reference from Ix-onard to anv ha!! Had that cashier'forgotten to deliver her message? Impossible, after the way she had rubbed it in to him. No: evidently Leonard had deliberately set his face against lier having the bat. and was determined not to allude to it, The arrival of Sunday morning brought the problem to an acute stage. There was no new best hat to wear with a new best dress. And the second-best dress was not worth wearing—at leas!, to one's church. "I think, Leonard. T shall go over to • llighgate to church Ibis morning. It's a nice walk, and I like the service there." ".Tovc! I think I'll come with vou." On the stroke of 11 they entered the church together at Tlighgatc. and were -hown into a pew. As the service comI" Mienced, a lady and gentleman walked into the pew immediately in front with the lofty air of proprietorship that seatholders assume. And the lady was wearing "the" hat.

There was no mistaking the hat. Its aggressive individuality banged one in the face, so to speak. How had this woman got possession of it? The service concluded. In passing out, Mrs. Leonard Brown leant and rad the name on the card of the pew in front. It was Brown.

"Well, Leonard, how did you like the sermon?" she inquired absently, when they were outside. "My dear, I've seen nothing the whole time because of that awful bat in front of me." "Oh. didn't you like it?" "Like it? It's an absolute monstrosity."

"You wouldn't care to see your wifio in such a thing?" "Horrors! By the way, Phyllis, aren't you wanting a new winter hat now?"

"Well, if T could get something quite inexpensive." "do to the West End this time! You always got liottor things there. I wonder if I could get off to-morrow afternoon and go West with you? I (ell you what. King me up to-morrow morning, and I'll let you know whether I can get away. Oh, by the way, we got our telephone number changed a week ago. It's KM, Cornhill, now. Some other man called Brown had a similar number to our old one, and the Exchange girls were always switching us on wrongly."