NAMING THE TWINS.

Taranaki Daily News, Volume L, Issue 61, 12 November 1907, Page 4

NAMING THE TWINS.

(By Max Adekr.)

A friend of Butterwick's who stayed at | l.ii huose a short time after the twins wens ' torn, overheard Uk following conversation U t«\Mi the fond peients ono night after all hands bad retired. He was in Uu. adjoining loom Mrs B: "What dull wo call the twins, I Henry, dear!"' B: "Oh, I donoo. Airaost any good rames. How would Moses aad Aaron do? or Cane and Abel'" Mrs A - "Yen ought t obo ashamed of to want to name one of your own ciu'dr, n alter a murderer! You might have banted Use whole Biblo through with, cnt finding anything worse!" B: "Oh, »fli ( call them Shadrach, Maahach and Abednego, then.' ilrs B: "You know very well that there are only twins, and that they can't have three oajr.es divided equally between them. I hate Scripture namei, anyhow. I want to call them alter some distinguishe i ndn." B: "Well, name tne of them Fienepont Morgan, and the c<her Schwab." Mr» B: "I d rather die cn the spot than have a child ot mino named a swab." B: "How'il Kloddeidatch and GutchakoS «irt you!" Mrs B: BuUcrw'ck, you know I can't abide those German nan es. You would inflict a corse on your innocent ley if yo:i would send him thicugh the world with Midi a name as Klcdderdatch Butterdwick. Yoa know very well you would. I prefer an American name. One that belongs to this oounbrj-." B: "Very well, then, call one of them Spotted Tail, and the other Hole in the Day. Those arc indigenous to this continent."

Mrs B: "Mr Batterwick, if yen are goinij to tarn the subject into ridicule, I will get tip and dreas myself and go downstairs. Yoi shan't insult me in o>y face, anyhow. Yon know well enough that 1 meant som.> white American name." B. "How would Smith and Jones answer r

Mn B: "I'd rather bury both of thein In one grave. Why din't yoa suggest some didingaUlied American name!" B: "Oh, all right. There's Benedict Arnold and Martin Van Bnren?"

Mrs B: They shall never have those names with my consent."

B: "How abvnt Adams'" Mrs B: "That's only one name, and there an twi. babies ''

B - "Well, co!i one 'A' and the other 'flams.''

Mrs B: "Batterwick, if you use language like tLat again I'll go homo to mother's this very night" B. "Well, then. if yon mist have the umes of ceietiatcd Americans, call one Tilly Slowboy" snd the other Toodks.'' Mrs B: "Where they prominent men? I don't remember hearing about them before."

B: "Why, my dear, they both signed tho Declaration of Independence, and Slowboy was V hk-President under Washington. If jcu want straightont leniutionaiy patnot, those an your men.'' Mra B: "What did Mr Toodks do?" B: "Lraisa, I am surprised at your ign/rance.' Dro't yoa know that he commanded the army of Valley Forge?" Mrs P: ' I d..n'l think much of theiT rames. *nybcw. Sly over some others." B- "Lemme see. Well, now, there's Mephistopheies, and " Mrs B: "What did you say he did' B. "Did! Why he oommanded the fri. ;aU Constitotnn in the war of 1812, and he was killed while nailing the American to the mast." Mrs B: "And yon want to name one of yoar children after him?" B: "Certainly; why not' Xoble old patriot? Did be not die in defence of Why, Loaiss, chat arc yoa going to do?' Mn B: "Why, I'm going to quit this house and take the twins with me, and 1 stay away far ever. I know just a", welt .13 yon do that Mephistcpeies is another nam* f-.-r the devil. I'r seen fcim .I*. the cpeia. It is perfectly inlamous lor you lo suggest snch a namo for you; own flesh and blood. I don t believe in your Stowboys or Toodles either. I'm certain that yon have been telling scandalous stories, and now I m going to leave." Then Bntt<rwick was heard to use a persuasive tone with Mrs 8., and finally <bc mad* it up with bic_ The twins eventually wen baptised John and Henry.