ENOUGH DURING THE WEEK.

Taranaki Daily News, Volume L, Issue 61, 19 October 1907, Page 3

ENOUGH DURING THE WEEK.

A solemn Scotsman, having an equally solemn wife, took in a lodger. The lodger speedily discovered that the couple, possessed many peculiarities, one of which was the closing of all doors and windows. "Dear me, Mr M'-1.e0d," said the lodger one Sunday afternoon, "I should think you and your wife would be stilled >itting in doors this hot day with the window*, shut. If you'd just open one I'm sure it would do Mrs McLeod good-—she's looking pale." Mr McLeod looked at the lodger with his usual stern and unbending gaze. "We call hae fresh air any day," said lie, frowning. ''We've no need to hae it rushing aboot the hoose on the Sawbath!" HOW SHE ACCorXTKD FOK IT. The light in the lady's eye caused the groeer's assistant to skip behind a keg of butter as she bounced into the shop. She held a paper bag at arm's length and the manner she screwed up her nose was suggestive of motor car perfume.

"These -'ere are the new-laid eggs wot I bought last night," she said. "I've cracked one of 'em. Smell it!"

The assistant: deemed it expedient to call the proprietor. "I really can't account for it, mam," the man in the apron declared. "I can assure you those eggs were laid yesterday."

"All I can say is your fowls are laughing at the law o' iientail, then," replied the lady; "they've parted with heirlooms."

When it is announced in church that a meeting of "vital importance" is to lie li-'ki, it generally means that steps are to be taken to ease the congregation of Mime money. It's difficult for the girl who is unable to get married to realise how lucky sue is.

Some aetresse* have a fad of making a collection of husbands.

If you buy your coal now, you will have a great load 011 your mind next Dci-emU-i-.

Honpcck >ays it's easier for a married man to >l<>p a runaway horse tlian hU wife's tongue.

A girl might as well bo 111 a convent as havt- a younger sister grow up who is prettier than herself.

1 lirequited lovo sent a great many persons to the madhouse last year, and requited love .icnt still more' to tlie workhouse.

The jiirl who is 100 dainty to oat anything except cakes and jelly when a young mall is at (lie talile will slip into the kitchen utter hi l is gone and make a meal 011 bread-aud-cheese.

In doubt.--Toddles: '"When you eloped, your wife's father followed you did lie not:''

llatlk-s: "lcs: and 1 believe he would have killed lue had he caught up with us before the wedding; but 1 outwitted him/' "Vim were lucky." '•Oh. I don't know, Ymi wore never married, were you?''