HUMOR IN MEDICINE.

Taranaki Daily News, Volume L, Issue 59, 1 June 1907, Page 3

HUMOR IN MEDICINE.

The practice of medicine is so serioiH a matter that most people might be pardoned for supposing that it is entirely : I icking in humor. Such, however, is the I beiiel's euee of nature that just as soil,' green plants find seed-room and root-I hold, end grow in the crevices of a rock,! so humor turns upwards in a smile the | downdrawn mouth of pain, and brings I

a merry twinkle in the tear-stained eye. (If all the men of medicine, the one] who slands out most vividly from the \ humorous point of view is undoubtedly j the great Abernethy, who nourished about a century ago. Pure gold was the humor minted in his brain, »o that it still passes current even to-day. There was, admittedly, a certain brusqucness about him, but it only added dramatic effect to what he said.

WHV NOT LEAVE WELL ALONE? One day a patient went to lu'in and complained that his arm hurt him when he raised it above a certain level. "What a fool you must be to raise it, then." was the quoit rejoinder.

A KEIH'KF. TO JIEAXXKSS. Another timi! a moan man who objeotod to pay ii fee called on him and detailed a long series of symptoms. Abornethy listened without saying a word. '•What would you take, doctor?" he asked, "if you were in my place?" '•Advice!" roared Aliernethy as he rang the bell for the next patient to he shown in. AX EFFECTIVE .SU/ENCER. To tiresome people he gave short shrift. One day a very voluble, lady tool; her daughter to see him. "Which of you two wants to consult me?" he asked. ''My daughter," replied the older woman. Aberucthy put a question to the girl. Before he had a chance to reply her mother began a long story. Aliernethy shut her up, and repeated his question to the girl. A second time tlie woman began, a second time ho shut her up, and a third time she interrupted. '"Put your tongue out," he said to the mother.

"But there's nothing the matter with ine," she exclaimed. "Never mind, nut your tongue out," lie commanded. Overawed, the. womnu obeyed. "Now keep it out," said Abernethy, and he proceeded to cross-examine the girl.

NOT THE PLUM HE EXPECTED. Few if any among the great men who have, been associated with St. Bartholomew's can compete with Abernethy in the lustre he reflected on it. Yet, when I he sought election on the staff lie had to canvass the governors. Among them was n greengrocer who objected to him. As soon as the great surgeon went into his shop the proprietor advanced towards him, exclaiming: "Oh, Mr Abernethy, I know what you wan! It's no use your coming here." In an instant Aberncthy's quick mind turned the tables on the tradesman. r'Tiiiiwm mini ifir a hurry," he said. It was a crestfallen governor of St. Bartholomew's that Abernethy left behind him.

SIGNALS OF BORDERLAND. It is not, however, only the great men of a century ago who were gifted with humor. On one occasion Sir Henry Thompson, who had a reputation as n novelist and a nartist, as well as a great surgeon, was staying at a country house with another surgeon of great fame. One day the conversation turned on the number of letters they received. When the post arrived, Sir Henry received only one or (wo, while there was a goodly number for bis colleague. The opportunity was too ..good to bo lost, and the surgeon called Si,- Henry's attention to the difference in their letters. '-Yes," replied Sir Henry with a merry twinkle m his eyes, which were overhung with bushy brows, "but 1 see yours are all black-edged envelopes."

VKRSOXAL KXPEKIEXCK. In ii provincial court a surgeon was once called to give evidence in a railway ease in which a woman was said to luive given birth to twins as the result !of shock arising from the accident. ''Von are a surgeon in the general hospital in , I believe?" said the barrister. "I am,'' replied the surgeon. 'Miul you practise purely as u surgeon';" "J do." "Then what on earth do you know about twins?" cried the barrister triumphantly. '■i hive them at home," the surgeon replied cpiietly.

A I'OOT-XOTE MAVKIt. _ There are occasions, however, when it is not the doctor who scores. On one occasion a noted physician of the Victorian era was summoned to Balmoral and uotilicd his class of the fact by writing the following notice on the blackboard: -The lecture on medicine to-day is postponed to attend her Most llracious -Majesty (he Queen." One of the students happened to go into the room, and after reading the notice wrote as a footnote, l.iod .Save the Queen."

HIS FINAL JEST. When Rabelais was on his death-bed a consultation of physicians was called. The f|;iiig wit opened his eyes and looked at them. 'Tray, gentlemen," he exclaimed, "let me die a natural death."

NOT WISE TO FOLLOW IT. One day the famous Dr Chcync was summoned to attend J3eau Nash, the uncrowned King- of Bath. He prescribed for him, and the prescription was duly sent to be made up. Next day the physician called to aee the patient, and in the course of his examination enquired whether the prescription had been followed.

"No. i' faith, doctor," replied Nash languidly. "If I had followed it 1 should have broken my neck, for I threw it out of the bedroom window."

COVERING UP MISTAKES. When I)r Radclilfe, who at one time lived in Jiloomsbury Square, and was as noted for his sharp tongue as for his skill as a doctor, got out of his carirage one day he found a man at work on the pavement and blocking the way. ''Why, you rascal," cried the doctor, "do you pretend to be paid for such a piece of work! Why, you have spoiled my pavement and covered it up with earth." I i.e. man looked up quietly, and without a smile replied: "Doctor mine is not the only bad work the earth hid.«."

WINE THE LESSER EVIL. Dr Radclilfe was once asked by a patient which was the more difficult to cure, a disorder contracted bv excessive

eating or one by excessive drinking. "Which do you think would be the more difficult (o extract Old of a man's body." he asked, "a pint of wine or an ox?"

AN TRISIIISM. During his last illness Curran, Ihe great Irish wit, was one day told by the medical attendant that he seemed to cough with more difficulty than he bad done the previous day. 'That's odd enough," replied' the famous Irishman, "because T've been practising all night!"