PASSING FANCIES.

Taranaki Daily News, Volume XLVIII, Issue 81918, 8 February 1907, Page 3

PASSING FANCIES.

(ljy -Quiz"). 'There's always a growl about eye lists on footpaths, .lusi, because the man cm tilts saddle above two wheels lias the common .-i-nso to av«:«l tliu stony way, the people howl like niiiil. ami want to know what the police are doing. Tlicy'i'e not fair to the cyclist. The other day I heard a knot of people talking about this matter, and plotting ail 'sorts of nasty things. Two days later 1 was whiz zing along a path when pop! went the tyre. Tin tacks. Mean, nasty trick 1 call it. And other people arc just j as mean and thoiigiit'cs. Alroul a week nun 1 sau' a la.lv push lII' g»-

cart and family twins right out through a gate on to the sidewalk wichoul ringing a bell or p:e sing a sipicakcr or giving any waning what ever. A cvclisL was pao-iug bv, and there was aeo lis (in. The bike was all bent and twisted, and the fellow nearly broken up. Did the lady apo o t'isi-V Was she sorry about tin- broken 'bike? Did she regret tee eye Ut - blackened optic'.' .No, not a bit of it. She marled oil and rounded h'.in lip. nbu.i'd linn in line side, ju-l because till! two kiddies W re capsized on W the track, and were hnwl.ug their liltle eyes out. Now, my opinion is that if people are going to push perambulators mil on to the footpatn they ought to be made to ring a bell, or put out a danger Hag, or something like that, or how on earth is the eye.ist to know Ihey'e coming?

'■Dear Quiz— Can you advise 'some reliable timepiece by'which to set my watch? Last week 1 set it by '.lie post olliec clock, and found 1 was just tnree minutes late for my train. The railway clock itself is a puzzle. One face says 3.D7, another 4.0, and the third 4.3. lam losing sleep over the matter, as well as brains." So writes '•Puzzled." Well, lie's not tiie only one that's puzzled. The clock face itself lias given up puzzling long ago, and accepts Ihe vagaries of the machinery as a matter of course. But there is a contract out for cleaning and repairing the clocks on the railway. Suppose "Puzzled'' has a shot at it? In the meantime, keep your watch ablaut live minutes ahead of, vverything. and keep just aiiead of ■that! Some day we'll have abig clock in the tower at the post ollice, but don't hurry. .

Wouldn't the ia.ly of the house just "rouse" a bit if the butcher broujrlit the meat in his liaml to the door? He'd be the dirtiest wretch in the world, or in her little world, and iie',l be told oh qnii-k and lively. The idea -of .suspecting ''me" (capital's* pleascl) to eat meal that lie's been mauling about in his hand's! And the lady would think herself ijnito justified in changing to another butcher, who would be solemnly warned to bring the meal on a tray.

I'oor little woman! And does she really think the meat is not handled? Doosn l tiie butcher handle ii in cutting up the beast? And another man touch it as !he .thVowls it fuito the) can* And the particular lady linger it and squeeze it between her finger and thumb before she decides to have another piece? Siie will stand complacently by whilst the joint is cut and skewered, watching the deft hands of the butcher about his work. lint to arrive at the door with a roast of beef or a couple of chops in his hand—disgusting! Did it ever strike you that the man in town is harder to catch than (he man in the country? Or that the town dog is more strenuous in his opposi-tion-.to tax than the farm dog? Or that it takes longer to walk to a: house in the town and soil u dog collar than to hunt up the settler on his rural holding and issue plated necklets for all the dogs on tne place? Or that the town dog is such a superior sort of beast that he ought to contribute more to the collector than the fcuri in the backwoods? Or that n man ought to be paid mure for visiting twenty house* in one short street than for riding out into the country and visiting about twenty farms in one (lav? Or that the cuinitrv ilng tax collector ha- a "5.,1'1 (him: on" compared to the borough col rt-r? 11l short, did you ever see any reason whv a man should get four shillings a liead for registering dogs in lie- borough, when he will do tne same workin about twenty miles of country for sixpence per dog? Neither do 1. bill then our borough council has so much money now, including the few hundreds of the thousands ground and sweated out of Carnegie's slaves, that we can afford to pay. See?

Have you ever tried to walk down Devon street according to the rule of the road'; If yon have, ami if youv'e succeeded, your shins and shoulders must have been sore as a footballer's at the finish. There's a delight fit' disregard of the rule of the footpath in N'ew Plymouth. I'roiid father with his squalling first-born in a squealing go cart, pushes and bumps his way through the legs of the crowd, without ib much as a "beg pardon" when the wheels strike an ankle of a passer by: or the whole concern goes whop into a knol of gossipors. Aptd his good wife strolls down the insider of the path with her hands in a mull', eyes on the shop window, and her soul in a turmoil of delightful envy. What cures she if she's on the wrong side'; She'.- on fhe window side, and she's seeing the fashions in tiie shops. Eight or fen gay sparks tvan.i the whole path, (little ikiddicsi are pushed into the slitter, and the wise mall uses the centre of the road way. The police'; Itut what a question.

That reminds me that the blue coated, silver-buttoned, helmeted gentlemen have the right to "move on." Saw a constable move on a hew of women tiie other night. They walk ed a few paces, and slopped again, to finish their gossip. Saw the same constable march under two hotel verandahs without taking any notice of Hie loungers there, smoking and expr'clor.iting on the paths. Why not move them on? Else, why do we provide blue tunics and smart hoi lllets?

The Education Hoard had its little fling n't the Health Department the other day about the t'reiiiii school. | For once, (he Health Depuimenl seems to have logic on its side. The Education Department, we are fold, pio; ) 'te.s accommodation on Ihe ''aver age Hfiendance.'' Which means thai if a school with a maximum roll mini her of ](HI returns an average of XI >Uv Department eoiv-iders ilia I 11,,.,,and air -pace need only be provided for S-l. lint an average of SI would mean an attendance sometimes of inn. sometime- (111 or so. soundime* 75. perhaps (HI. And when there's a full muster, and there's onlv room for S4. is that good for I-Ac-li.-v. or scholar?

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