A HORRIBLE JOKE.

Taranaki Daily News, Volume XLVII, Issue 81894, 27 November 1906, Page 4

A HORRIBLE JOKE.

A TALE OF THE EARLY DAYS. A We.liugton "Post" reporter has unearthed a 105 year old colonist near Wellington and has secuied some good copy from the old gentlemail: who came to the colony when he was a young man. He tells many good stories. Here is one:—'The most terrible 'ime I have ever had,' remarked the centenarian, "was at the foot of the mountain there,'' waving hi; flick at the Rimutakai. He had been passing through a pah there—he thought it was Urui —and met a Maori. Pat mgi (commonly caled "Tom'), with whom he was friendly. Tom had b"en a whaler, and couhl ik Knglish well.

"Don't go hi m; tw-day, he said. "Stay here 1. ght, and you will hfar and i niny things. Ali t of Maoris are coming djwn from the King Countty t» Wellington. Mam of them have not sc:mi a white man before. It wi.l be funny to watch them when they see you.'] After some persuasion Mr Burling (for such i* the centenarian's name) agreed to stay, and at nightfall took a place near Tom in a large wha-e. The Maoris, who did not seem to pay much heed to the pakeha, squatted down, and began telling yarns in their own language, which Mr Burling cou d understand very well. They spoke of the white men they had killed, and boasted about lh< pieces they sent to one another. "I was awful to hear them." said tht historian. "One fierce old fellow told the others how he had cut up poor od Faulkner, the missionary. Th-y hung him on a tree and dismembered him. About nine oclock some wahines came in with baskets of kumera?. 'Take one,' whispered Tom to his gue»', 'and say "ka nui pai".' I obeyed, and at once the old fellow who had been talking about Kaulknerroseup and brandished a tomahawk in my face. 1 fa.icy I hear him still.'' The warrior believed from Mr Burling's accent that he cou d speak pakeha. Tom interceded. He declared that Mr Burling had said "Ka nui pai," on his and 1 knew no other Maori word', but it was some time before the tomahawk was lowered. "I

was glad wheu daylight cam*-'," mused the aged chronicler. "Some time afterwards Tommy's wife said t > ine; 'My God, very near that time, Harry'," Obviously, Tom's glim sense of humor very nearly ended the centenarian's days half a entury ago, as an Irishman might say.