The Storyteller.

Taranaki Daily News, Volume XLVII, Issue 7877, 20 July 1905, Page 4

The Storyteller.

A FAMOUS VICTORY. It began lameiy ctfough. The soldiet, throwing in briskly from "cover" caught the policeman of Church Halsted on the side of the bead. The policeman was piqued. He implied thai such accidents never happened in first-class cricket. He added that they weren't playing rounders. The soldier opined that, if the policeman knew so much about rounders, possibly rounders was a policeman's game ! The policeman made adequate retort. There seemed to be a chance of the game going on again wlren Fred camein Wowing his fingers from the longfierd, and suggested that the policeman and the soldier should play a single-wicket match there and then to decide the quarrel. Fred, who was captaining us against the Married, then went off to the farm for his overcoat and gloves. The soldier said that lie didn't want to interrupt anybody's game, but that he wouM certainly liack himself to the extent of a shilling against the policeman. The policeman took the bet gladly, and promised not to detain the company long. We cleared the ground ; and while the rivals tossed for innings somebody went for Harry, Ihc village grandfatltcr. Old Harry had settled scores of disputes in his time, sn now, bent double over his stick, he umpired the great match, as he ha;! umpired often before. The police man wiped his hand on his trousers and grasped the ball. "Play !" croakrd Harry. THK POMCKMAN'S FIRST BALI.. Now, I was eager 10 get back to our own game, for 1 was chief bowler for the Single. ConsequerrUy I clapped loudly when the policeman's first ball, proccedirrgfy swiftly along the ground for a while, rose suddenly and took the bails. "Out." sard Harry, holding up bis hand The policeman went to Hie wickets wanting one to win. He was old and fat. and he was no cricketer though a good policeman. But years before, on an ever-memorable Bank Holiday, he had spent an afternoon at übe Oval. Memories of this were with him. He took guard Willi great dignity. Harry was eqital to the occasion. "Middle." he said. The soldier had been swinging his arm round his head and rubbing his shoulder. "I should warn 'cc I bowl overs,'' he interrupted. The policeman conttnued to hold up his bat. "I gave thee middle," said Harry, angrily. "I don't want middle ; I want lee-stump," said the policeman grandly. ••Ij-g-sl-imp be dominrd. I know nawthen about leg-stump. Play "' The policeman marked his ' block with a bail, and the soldier letired to the horizon, rubbing his arm doubtfully. He returned at a sreal pair; but letting the ball go at the wrong moment, it soared into the air vertically a*f*v flic .umpire. We watched it, fasrinaled-tlir policeman silting on his bat 11k-while. . THK SOLDIER TRIKK "UNDKRS." When it came down, "Try undcrs' 1 be said. The soldier fried undcrs and hit a cow. The soldier got angry. He seized the ball, advanced three steps over the crease, stud threw the wicket down. "■How's that ?" he called, triumphantly. He turned for his coal. The policeman's backers rushed on tr> the pitch. I They surrounded the umpire. Some said it was a foul, and some said it was a no-ball. Two or three went after the soldier and argued with him. "Well, I leave it to the umpire," he said at last, magnanimously. Then Harry gave his verdict—full of wisdom as ever. Toe soldier might go on throwing, but he must not go over the crease. The match was resumed on tltesc terms. Now the policeman had courage, as is only right in a policeman. He did not hesitate to stop the straight, balls with his legs. As the soldier was (browing round the wicket he could not be l.b.w. Moreover, the soldier was in any rase too good a sportsman to appeal. The wickets Were hrdden so effectively that he had /uuite forgotten about them; and he was now aiming exclusively at the policeman. He had a good deal of success. The batsman's motto was thai if you keep up your wickels the runs would come. So he kept ihr-m up stolidly, and lie was fat ; and twen-ty-two yards was a long way to run. It Was an April dav. There came cold winds, and we turned up „ ut collars. There came ho| sun, and we unbuttoned our roals. There came rain, and we looked round lor shelter. But tin- soldier went nn hcwlinr Ami the policeman went on l,alting. (I suppose I must call it-bat-ting). . . . He wanted one run to win, vou remember.

In the park the rooks chattered ami chattered, ami were silent for a little. Ratfmls popped tlieir licads u|i. and disappeared again. The cows began to move off lo'vthcr. The jcburch clock struck four. . . , THK UMPIKK SLICKI'S. I The policeman slopped a yorker Uiuniphaullv. And somebody tetchx-d a (chair for the umpire 1 The news Went through the villiCF Exciting match. .lack was , i plat iii); a soldier. Jack wanted one Ito win. Money on it, too. } Tin > hurried up from Hie Fox and 1 Hounds, and for ten minutes watched each ball breathlessly. After a quarter of an hour they began to make enquiries. . . Tin- Kox ,and Hounds rilled up again. | Some nf us went oft to tea. I But the soldier went on bowling. . I And the policeman went on batting. ... • Ami the umpire slept, until the 1 soldier woke imii up and told him J that he would now tiy throwing o\ier the wicket. The church clock .itruck five. The whole village was watching now ; i and we came close to the wicket, j offering encouraging remarks. "Oi.ly cine more to win, Jack !" "Ah. but 'a carn't lose," said the policeman, complacently. Th.'i the incredible happened. He hit a ball to cover. For a moment he hesitated. Then, on the advice of all oi us, lie trotted lumheringiy up the pitch. Hy the time he was half way the soldier had Rot the ball. '•Hurry up !" we yelled. Force of habit was too strong for the soldier. For two hours i<e lad . been throwing at the policeman. He i took careful aim again. The policeman caught it on the . side of the head. He stumbled, tot- . tered on three steps, and then pitched forward on his face. But his bat was inside the crease. —A. .A Milne, in Daily Mail.

READ THE SIGN POST. 10TS OF NEW ZEALANDKRS HAVF. LEARNED TO READ IT CAREFULLY. Read the sign post rig-htly. The sign post of health is thi hack. You must read its aches and pains. You must know the language of the back. When .you know it the sign-post reads : "Barkache is kidney nchc." Lame back is lame kidneys. Weak back is weak kidneys. To cure th« back cure the kidneys Onlj one sure way to do this. Take Doan's Backache Kidney Pills. Mrs R. Sbeaban, Seaton Street. Stratford, says :—"My husband usee! Doan's Backache Kidney Pills for !minn in the small of his back. He hnd an attack of rheumatism some lime a*o, and ever since then, until ■fiiie lately, he suffered with these iwins. ami also weakness of the heart. The pains in the back were esperinlly annoying when he was working, nnd the weakness of the heart caused bis breath to come in ho-p*. I am glad to be able to tell you that Doan's Backache Kidner f'ills proved just the remedy that he "coded : previous to using these pills he had tried many different remedies, but none of them did him any c-oiid. ami it remained foT Doen's Pills to cure him. He never complainv of imckache now, and ltis heart> action is quite right. I also •n«d the pills, and they did me a lot of (rood." Beware o' imitations. RemenVber it was Doan's Backache Kidney Pills which helped Mrs Sheahnn. and if 'mi viiller a « i*e drd you want the same remedy. Therefore see tnal you cet the (jenirine, and that the word "Backache" is in ths name.