The Storyteller.

Taranaki Daily News, Volume XLVII, Issue 7862, 3 July 1905, Page 4

The Storyteller.

THE MONEY BOX. ('-■ Ha came home in triiiD:ph on the t'h. '.sea omnibus. "The very thing, J ,c'v : " fhe. declared, proudly. " Ihe very thing",was a ;suiall. ofolung. metal box. I regarded it cautiously. Six months of married lift) had laugtil 1114 to novpr pronounce hastily 011 anything Celia brought home. Only a fen' weeks before I had ii:i:.t iken u ne.« art flower-pot for aft 1114 rorod mouse-trap, and met trouble mole than half-way. Still, Celia i-v ideirtly expected umi to say something, *0 I remarked that it would 1-e very nice for the u>sy corner. ' Vox silly bo.V." irt opted Cclia. "this is a money-bo*." A what ? " "A money-box. A patent moneybox." Tut we haven't patoit money." I si.id wittily, lietore we wire married Celia would have laughed heartily at my joke, now she merely frowned iin[atiently. Parenthetically, 1 believe lots of men are trapped into narri-a-e uir.ler the impression that they will always have somo one to appreciate their humour. However, to r<r " It's the very latest thing." said Celia. " I'll show you how it works. Nn«. say we want to save £u." '• We want to save JCS," X repeated obediently"llo be sensible, Jack —if you can. Slid Celia witheifng&y- "Now, we are going to save £3—oh, by-the-»uy. Jack, I saw such a lo*e of a Ujoiero at Mine. Fricasee's to-day. only three and a half " This was a dangerous ground and I interposed firmly. " We are going to save, not spend Jto. What happens next 1 " " Uow can X show you when you k-"-p on interrupting ' " «aid Celia, laying hold of the mowy-box. "Let 1110 see. now. I set the dial so. and then push the knob over to the right as far as it will—ouch, the horrid thing ! " I kissed Cdia'-j pretty linger butter, and waited. " llow much money have you, Jack 1 " she asked, regjuxling the mou-v-intx from a safe distance. A careful search through my pockets produced lis ,7d. " Oh, you extravagant boy," cried Celia ; " you've spent nearly £2 f i nee yesterday," I couM not deny the accusation, and it would have been ungeneroas and impolite to have reminded Celia that it was at Iter instigation we had dined the previous evening in all the profligate luxury of a So'lo restaurant and "done" a theatro afterwards. Still, I felt a little nettled. " Ob, come," 1 cried, " how much Ivtve you got?'' Celia defiantly produced Is 6d and a l«ekct of pins from her gold-mount-ed. emhosGtfd. Morocco-leather purse. " Five pounds last Monday," I remarked confidently tn the lamp. It was an injudicious thing to say and 1 paid for it- Cclia at once flew to hen house-keeping tfsoks, Oh, those wonderful tKicks ! Her system was as follows : On the ono side she put down the money I gave her; on ;li - other what sliu could muumlx-r hfiving spent. The dilTerence between it ho two totals represented what I owed her. On this occasion it ap--a reft I was her debtor to the extent of £1 Bfi osd. I gave her an I I) If for the amount and wo returned to tho money-box, info which at fella's bidding, X put « r ,s. " Well." I sa f .d, " I don't see anything particular ajjout this moneyWhere docs tho patent coine in ? "

" Ah ! " Cried Cclia. "that's just it —her syntax is ofltrely her own ' with an ordinary money-box you put your money in nnd lake it out wlnrv you Irke. but -with this on* you can't can' t take any money tout again until there is £."> in it." 1 was inclined to say that, had I known this. I should have seen my ■ln soim/whtTC elso ehan Sn thf man-e.\-box ; but silenco a t the right momcnt is the toutchstone of married" h.ip|>in«KS. Hesid«>, I reflected hope-' fully, if I remembered anything of u:y Itfiyhood. you coukl do wonderful things to a mouev-lmx with a tableknife. I bis. th"n, was how wo began Ifc Ore •at Save. Th- crisis earn* on Christmas Eve. W' had deferred our shopping until t!i'- last moment, a practice *which «'■ ihink adds a pleasurable excite-m.-ui to rh<K»sing etc. At ll: r very first shop we rolered ije d.-roverod that Celia had had her purse stolen. This was really serious. From one reason and another I was very hard* up. All the ready money I hul was. or rather,had ibevo in ('"lin's purse. I rushed round to th- club, but as luek would hane it, th. re was not a man I knew there, at least, nunc 1 should have cared to borrow from. Still, there mas th( money-box. now swollen in contents to £1 -s »kt Celia cheered up uh*-n she rpmemliered it as we walked home. I reminded hnr that 17s fid was the om* and only ke.vto it- Rut, she argued, what -wan the use of bein-' a man if I Couldn't open a silly little thfrt? like that, rcrsonally, I had grave doubts as to my ability to rope with the "silly litile thing." I'nknown to f.'elia I had ulrondy—during the acute finaiici.il sjiasm—broken three tableknives o'er it—their disapjiearance was a las;ing inyn'»Ty to t'elia—-and hail also S[ent the liest part of nn afternomi. while she was out. vainly angling in it.s depllis irtth a Hairpin bailed with a stickphast.

\ fourlh table-knife went the Hay of its pmlece»ors ; a cold rhisel almost tfoiißerl lily eye out ; infuriated, I seiad the sardine-tin opener, dis,"iii; (Vlia s and prepared to disA'inlwiwe! tho money-t»ox. Just th n camo n knock at our door, arvi 1 np-m-d it to inv friend Tiin s > —like jr,\Si'l f ,j sti'tijjplinp artist. I 'The very man : come in. Jiow much money have you got oil \ in' ' I cried all jn breath. Bohemians are used to such hiqh-waynvn-like demands, and without a word Tim turne<l out his pockets.and —stranßU Coincidence—exactly 17s <>< J. Ilapidly explaining tho Atuation, I inserted the Coins. " <>|>en Si-Hame ! " I cried confident I}. a» the last Benf in. Put the ljo.t remains! cloned. I >-h'. )k it, I turned it upside down. I lx-.it it on tlw* table, and all withoni «air fancy th-- stickphast 1i;,.l jrot iill o Ihe Works. Minute", pass.*! i.ll-1 Tim 1 to look anxious. "1 fc;i>. »ld man.'' lie said. ' thai was e\.i\ pennj I hail, and I've not L. rak- little I'oil;. Daydreams out to—er, Ihat is. I—oh. w T iy dim'l you !•'e.ik the silly little tiling o|K3i'? " ii- end"! in'onwtfiienlly. \sain f Neiad tin- tin-opowr. "No

—:ivi- it t<» me/' said Tim. "I'm a id.ifi at owning things'*—ho was ineluding bottles. poor Hlow. "Now you'll s«h\" s ;l i«l Tim between his Set His nanarks wcrv riclhcr*.«f nr» rolumfo, and Celia hastily and i{fitfully left the soom. Wljrn tin? returned Tint had finifr&xi rxpiVHsitip W» opinion of tin-opener.-,, niofp*v-hox»»s. and money-saving Tcliot.s like myself nnd was merely anxi'"is to know how long lockjaw «s----uall.v t««nk to dmelop. This," said t. as T danced at the cl »rk. " f* Kilting t**vond « joke.'* "It wasn't a poinl Icsm joke. «n>u.i\. 1 Udicve f*m blwding <»► rl'vifh." growled Tim. Christmas Without turkey was unthinkable. I ma'de a scaffold onl of tll»' footM<m»l and a chair, and placed thy on it. Then T took up tho a*'*— F mi'an the poker—nod dealt a iriiichty hlow for England. Rome, ami turkey. J do not expect U be t>efcVved, but t <R»clare to yon that as the poker f«Q that mocking money-box deliberately jumped forward. Tfce remit was tH*t I anight ft on the rear Jishot up Into the air. ean-j anQ erasffed, an.

gan to K«p ; Till! continued to swear. Mv victim, a portly elderly put I)" mail, was sitting on the pavement, "hijire at first he tlu-1 in- *i with vuhemence to move until his solicitor bad seen him. Fortunately our flat was in a very quiet street, and we bad it all to ourselves. The moneybox had gone clean through tin- ohU gentleman's hat. and inflicted a rath-; er iasly scalp wound. That infernal machine itself lav near by—open hi last. 11l- coins, however, had not rolled far. I picked thciii and the old gentleman l up. and a: length induced hiiu to accompany me upstairs. I administered brandy. Celia lint and hot water, and tinder their comWned influerifjrs be teased to ulmut actions for assault and battery. 11,difd. he laughed until 1 feared he w„uld hurt himself internally when we tol i hint about the, money-box. "Well, tuitii; man," lie said at la s '- 'before I go f should like to know your name : I may want to summon you yet." I told him. " Not on-' of the Kent f'urlyons .'' he asked. I toW him yes. "Who was vo'ir father ? " I replied. "Th n. my boy." said he. "I am your Inng-lost uncle from Australia,'

And a jolly good um'l - he proved- to me. Rich he gave me the means to study abroad in the best schools.ar® to-day, 'or these events happen-*! a 1002 time ago, visitors to my house in Holland Park-avenue often ask why the place of honour in our drawingroom is given to a small, oblong, battered, metal money-'box.