Page 4 Advertisements Column 2

Taranaki Daily News, Volume XXIII, Issue 113, 29 May 1901, Page 4

> MEDICINE WANT ED. (to physician)—" If you gH oui fey way, doctor, any time, ? wish you'd stop Wnd see my wife. She says she ain't ffeelin yell." Physician What are some of her Symptoms?" Fanner• "1 diinno. This mornin', after she had milked the cows, an' fed the stock, an' <;ot breakfast for the ftands, an' washed tlie dishes, an* built a fire under the scjft-hoap kettle in the lane, an' done a few jubs 'bout the house, she commenced to Ecclm' kinder tired. T shouldn't be surprised if her blood was out •ut of order. I &uess she needs a dose of medicine."

AN EAR FOR A [(J SIC. A touth at school in 1 laddington, lacking Buccal talent, and whose voice consequentlyjarred during the lesson, was always allowed a holiday on sinking clays. His mother, failing in divine the cause of her son's forced absence, paid a visit to the School to inquire into the matter. In answer to her query a c tw v. hy her son was sent home on surh the teacher sa id-~ 4 »Why, simplv because he has no ear." "What ["she evhumcd. "no ear? .Did anybody ever hear the like o' that? No car ? i'lo has a like a saucer, man !

A (rKAVH ri'l'UKY. ■ It is a common practirn in certain parts Of Scotland for one ol tlm relatives of the deceased person : n.;;:st the at the .funeral in coicnnu; ilic ,;nive. On one occasion Sauudevs, us tin: was called, was thus ..rcnpicdjo.i one side of the grave, and a cousin oi the <,!-wased on tile Other. This person was drawing some very affecting si;; Vis, hp: .as S;'unl<-rs was not slow to observe, lie was lillim; in very littleearth. Turning to the couuwu. anil leaning on ihe spade, be sa<llv H-m.in.cl that there was "nae rest or y/J.n:.- this side o' the grave." " Well, confoti!,.! v-, ' roared Saundeis. whose wrath had I".'.';! fasl rising, "come across to thr- i'.ii ;idc, .the I '. : ! nd shovel in •V vird!'

■J' )i a t man failed to shut tlio door, and the strong draft str uc k you squarely in tlic chest. A draft means a cold, a cougli, pneumonia, and often the beginning of eonSUwption itself. Yuu shun a draft. But yon can't when riding in tho street-cars; either iu the closed uropen cars. Then keep at hand a bottle of & Ayer's It will euro a "siroot-eui' eojd" in a Tho moment y<>u fool chilly or iovcrish, Maui to t*r havo any tightness in the ohe.si take a close. TIIO relief is immediate. Vut. nu in largii and smalt bottles. .Ayer's Cherry Poeloral [Mastor is a groataidtotbo Cherry Peetornl. Vh :cd dm-et.iy over tho painful 1 uit draws out all voli' i ws congestion, and imparts "'real stivii^li. Prepared by Or, .1. C. A;ar I'.u.. Lowell, Muss., U. S.A. C.H.RETFORD, DEVON STREET,

PIANOS <& ORGANS, AT LOWKST THICKS. Sole Agent in New Plymouth for the celebrated Wertheim Sewing = Machines, Wliich, from tlieir merit alone, have pained for tlieinselyes a world-wide reputation, and are now universally recognised aa the most reliable machines in the market. Solo Agent for tba world-famed WHKKLEH fc WILSON Machine.. Buy Time-payment!, liberal Oiiconat for Caih. C. H. RETFORD. Central Depot.

W-.'YON STIIKKT. NEW PLYMOUTH, A VlNti '.irf"J Hit 1 ati&iol*! of , ImKoT-ULASS TaJ LttftS ~ iiviii 1 am now "J pr* i.u cxwuic onlcrs at t Noi'icK. HM ; jii'i'.s uiy '•-•hbij-rn.i'ul ' tiii ;f-!v t.'j; FIRST-CLASS Q h tailoring' in iH Ml', \ WUUKMAIv-ilir AlUl.Mlnrilli b Ail ANiLL i) ■■ :< [ ::, ;11 i; H r t IIJ j'll;y.l £j> ,\n I )i.r> Sii if k ' M , ... .. lioili i. t\v !■:!•: i.-s n IN' IA ,S 111 (J NAI i 1.10 SIIA !) 10y. t Moijf T;,:p L i P.W. Jensen, l.vlr?.'.t (icn'i'-ni..-, s Taili r. THTciWlmoß, fWO'POORS ABOVE THEATRE ROYAL