Page 4 Advertisements Column 1

Taranaki Daily News, Volume XXXXII, Issue 4, 2 March 1900, Page 4

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AM*- f JOSB?H I was'well-to-do, ©Mfe-aged, shy. and single. His bosom , faeadwai Bob Jackson, .whose sister, Mrs. ' jpjce. a charming widow with two children, ifo&cretly adored without daring to put the I mofiwntous question. 'At last Joseph in \ despair,asked,Bob's advice. "Go in and tlmepiy. •• if yon are afraid to greyi. Write,y She, likes yoa, I know, and rupres6re hpr foryour offer. Joseph det&tained t6 act' accordingly. Joseph's acquaintances was an 1 elderly aamet Mrs. Priggle, whom he knew Wanted tQjtlisposo of her London house. He wgi often joked about taking it when he got married.tand betnow seriously determined to do decimal to write to her at once. \ He wenrthome and'wrote the following*:—! • 1 |f V Madam,—lj know you will be glad toj aqpepttthafproposalil am about to make,] tod will not be unprepared for it; but beforel deciding I must put the following questions,' which I have always asked in similar transactions. firstly,'-is your roof sound? I should not like to find anything wrong with your upper storey afterwards. Secondly, what qu§mtity of wines and spirits can you stow awaywithout Inconvenience. Thirdly, your exterior appears to be in good preservation, but 1 should like to know how often it is painted, and when it was last done. If your replies are satisfactory, I will call and* make a careful inspection, and if I find nothing wrong, will close with yon for seven years certain, with the option of continuing the arrangement for seven years more.— I Yours truly, \_ Joseph Butler." < i - Next came the proposal of marriage, conpocted as follows after much deliberation. ' f" My dear madam,—l have long adored you, and dare hope my affection is returned. ! Will you be mine i A refusal will make me ' the most miserable of men; the one little word " yes," will make me happyfor life.— Your devoted admirer, ... Joseph." ; ; . j (Sf'OnrMhero sealed, directed and posted j these epistles, apd awaited the result with ' confidence. The next morning Bob Jackson i rushed into Joseph's lodgings, frantic with j rage. Refusing his friend's proffered band, j he shouted," You insolent scoundrel! How j dare'you ask if my sister's roof is sound ? : She's as sane as you are! How dare you ask how much liquor she can stow away! DoVyon .'take her for a drunkard ?" and Bob stormed thus fer fully ten minutes before poor Joseph could get a word in, although in less than ten seconds the appalling blunder he had made became apparent; so begging Bob to go and explain matters to his aster.'he rushed off to apologise to Mrs. Priggle. On,entering her drawing-room, he was horror-stricken at that lady's embracing him and assuring him that his love had long been returned. When he disengaged himself and explained the mistake Ijer resentment knew no bounds, but he at last soothed her wounded feelings with a promise of £5 a year ' v more than the usual rent. No' promise of secrecy was required from either side. '■>.£'* ■ • •'•'i > iThenme hurried off to Mrs. Joyce. Bob had arrived before him, and his reception was therefore all that could be desired. In short, both his proposals were eventually accepted in the proper quarter, and in less than' three months Mr. and Mrs. Butler took'.up their abode in Mrs. Priggle's house. 'r'' ' " Mrs. Yoongwife (at breakfast) :'V There isnobreadon the table, Norah.'"*Norah: Shure, there's none in the house, mum.'* make 1

Travellers up country should always provide themselves with Liebig Company's Extract. .It takes up little space and can always be relied on, but be sure it is the Company's signed J. V. Liebig in blue. Lord Roberts, Mr. H. M Stanley and Mr. Edward Whymper testify to its unequalled value.— Advt

VEALE & SON. We supply every want IN THE GROCERY HE. We give Value FOR MONEY We give Credit We give Civility And after all tbis We Insure You AGAINST ACCIDENT FOR NOTHING! AT VEALE & SOS'S, Devon Sihkist, NEW PLYMOUTH. Pay for the Best The cost of the Corn Flour in a pudding is fo su-asi th.-.t everyone can aifuid to pay for the best, and the best is, of course, ii orn F; c ar preparation of perfect quality and ri-fcke; the cutcome of 40 ye;:ib' experience, and ilie recipient of 40 years' ever-growii.g public Uuour. Light puddings, custards, blanc-manges, jellies, creams, and a host of other dainties can be prepared with Brown and Poison's Corn Flour in a very short time and at a trifling expense.