THAT AWFUL LETTER

Taranaki Central Press, Volume IV, Issue 311, 17 December 1936, Page 2

THAT AWFUL LETTER

SAYING “THANK YOU.’’

Results Of ‘Bread and Butter’ Competition.

Prizes were recently offered by the “Manchester Guardian” fop a “Bread-and-butter” letter from a guest who, though unwilling to destroy a profitable friendship, wishes to express his real feelings about the week-end he has just suffered. It would be churlish to conceal the fact ‘that the subject of this competition was inspired by Mr Cole-Porter s justly’ famous song, “Thank You So Much, Mrs Lowesborough-Goodby,” says the judge. Fortunately, appreciation of this was general, and a good many competitors either used the name of 'that well-known hostess or at least managed to bring in references to the cocktails so hot and the bath that was not. But where Mr Cole-Poi'ter could be frank competitors were forced to be cunning. They were asked to supply the truth with tact, and it. was fatal to skimp the butter on the bread.

Not altogether surprisingly, it was generally' decided that women would make the letter a finer and a sharper weapon than men. Some of the most cutting letters were the most gushingly feminine. But the men could do it, too. This (from Manchester) and signed “The Supercargo,” was as good as any. It began; Dear Skipper, —You will be glad to hear that I caught that train, though I admit I was pretty blown carrying my kit-bag, which was none the lighter from having been dropped overboard by your deckhand. A pity he could not be spared to com: all the way. He is a good-natured fellow even if, r«s you say, cooking is not his strong suit. As I write this a touch of dizziness reminds me of an adventurous week-end, which 1 shall look back upon, as it recedes into the distance, with ever-increas-ing. pleasure. With ever grateful thanks for the experience. And the most subtle- and shortest 'ci - der of all was given a masculine ami even a businesslike touch. It came from Kingston in Surrey; Dear Jones, —Many thanks for the week end at your country bungalow. I’m immensely glad you are getting a> whole moifth down there. .Lt was slightly alarming to. discover how innocent the truth could look. After reading this entry from Whalley Range one is forced to wonder whether one has not in reality either written snrb a lelicr

by mistake or received one on put pose: Dear George,—Many thanks for having me last week-end. It was a great change from my ordinary weekend, and a break like that somehow makes one feel “different.” Please convey my thanks to your wife, who, I feel sure, did her best to make me comfortable. Knowing, as you do, of my digestive troubles, you will no doubt be pleased to hear that my visit has resulted in a great alteration in that direction. These visits to one’s friends are pleasant to look back upon, and I shall remember to include this last visit amongst my red-letter days. The first prize went, to: My Dear/—-I do apologise for not writing before to thank you for last week-end. .I’ve stupidly been in bed since Monday night. I hope I wasn’t awfully 'tiiresome, especially 'about changing my room. 1 quite enjoyed spending Sunday night on the sofa. How is the pup? He really (would be rather sweet if 'he wasn’t so naughty. | have sent my Sunday frock to the cleaners —rather optimistic, I fear. —With ever so many thanks, my dear, much love.—Jane. P.S.—I do hope you are successful

in getting a new cook; have you given Mary notice yet? The second prize to: Dear Mary,—lt’s never easy to express one’s appreciation of your hospitality; but I feel quite uplifted at the end of my visit. There’s an atmosphere about your home that’s seldom found in these days; and one ought to be thankful for it. And your children are -so entirely !fi|ee from artificial manners of any kind. I didn't have a dull moment. I must say that your cook surpassed herself on Saturday; but perhaps she finds that easy. Where does Tom get that remarkable sherry? My doctor says I am making good progress.—Yours very sincerely, Tom.